Is your Cat a Terrorist?

Which came First? JC or the egg

I ran into this comment from one of my many e-mails this morning. It was too funny so I had to post it here.

"everyone knows that Jesus was born of an egg laid by a giant chicken and hatched on Easter after being incubated by a rabbit."

Oh my gawd. I guess I'm not the only twisted person out there in the world.

No Spell Check

Funny. I just realized that using this widget I lost my ability to spell check prior to my posting. So if you start to see some really messed up spelling in the near future, you will realize the true master speller that I am.

I also lost the ability to post pictures with this widget. I guess I'll have to alternate from time to time between this and the actual website.

I don't know why I have this need to share this information with you. I feel as if you may want to know this information for your own benefit. Perhaps it's just a way for me to use this widget as an excuse in the future for my horrendous (ha, I know I spelled that one right) spelling.

You Don't Want to Make Me Angry

I have a huge fault that does not come out often but it bugs the hell out of me when it does show it's ugly head. I don't know why some people can rub me the wrong way at work, but I can become this huge asshole when they do. Well, asshole is kind of a strong word. Let's just say I'm pretty hard headed. I will defend my points to no end.

There was this person today that got under my skin in a meeting today. We exchanged some heated words in front of the meeting. Nothing too bad, but everyone else in the meeting was silent through the whole process. I can't describe the whole scenario because of my no work policy on blogging.

That's not the important part. The part that bothers me is that I let it get to that level. I strive on my sense of professionalism at the workplace. I did not maintain a level of composure like I normally do. I am now searching for any form of book that I can use to help me calm this inner rage at times. It angers me that I let her get to me like that. I am the only one who controls my emotions, but today I let her have some control over my emotions. Actually, I didn't let anyone else have control of my emotions, I lost control of my emotions. That is something that is a huge fault in my eyes.

Sometimes I wish I could turn green whenever I start to get angry. Perhaps people would leave me alone afterwards and let me be.

New Blogger Widget

I have a new Mac Widget that allows me to create an entry from the Dashboard feature of the Mac. This is basically a geek test. All non-geeks out there just disregard this test.

And for all the Macheads out there. Drool...

Wine Lessons 101

I just discovered that there is a maximum time that you should keep wines. So all those people out there with 15 year old wines, may want to check that they are still good. Your supposed to keep them at 55 degrees in a wine cellar. If not, then they start to age faster.

Sheesh... The things you learn when you are trying to be a refined gentlemen. Pip Pip, Cheerio and all that.

Baby Light up my Fire

I have discovered a new passion last night. I have been a cigar smoker for over ten years now. Just like everything else in life, there are times when I smoke a lot and other times when I don't smoke so much. Last night I went to this "exclusive" cigar store that has a private smoker lounge in the back. They were having some form of event so the public could use the private area as well. The private lounge is basically BYOB. Since they do not have a liquor license, you bring what you want and enjoy yourself.

I knew there was a membership fee for the private lounge. I thought, "Okay. It can't be more than like $25 a month or something like that." I was so so wrong. They charge a yearly $750 membership fee. This does not even include the cigar lockers. Oh my gawd. That is a hell of a lot of money. I could buy a Mac Mini and an iPod for that price (funny how I convert everything to computer pricing to feel the full effect of the cost).

Needless to say I will not be joining their exclusive membership. They claim to have around 150 current members and will cap their membership around 225 people. They will have to have one less member because that is an outrageous amount of money. I can just smoke my cigars someplace else, thank you very much.

All of this gab has nothing to do with my original thought. When we got there, I wanted to check out their humidor and maybe see what kind of cigars they had to sell. Well, the guy (pretty cool guy in fact) introduced me to this new cigar. It's a coffee flavored cigar. I have died and gone to heaven. It is the best tasting and smelling cigar I have ever had. I bought a few and will cherish them in the next few weeks. What else could be better than that? Coffee and cigars. All in one item. The only thing missing is the alcohol. Now if they could add some form of alcohol to the cigar. Damn. I would just about cream in my pants.

Rain Rain

Rain Rain go away.
Come back another day.
If you don't
I don't care
I'll just eat my underwear.

Am I the only one who sang this version as a kid? What the hell kind of kid sings this song? Pretty nasty now that I really think about it. Anyway, I wish this damn city would pick one form of weather and stick with it. One day it's 34 degrees, the next it's 80. Then it's beautiful outside and by that afternoon it's raining pretty bad. This state sucks when it comes to weather.

Funny. When I was younger and people from other states would visit, they would say this exact same thing. I would tell them, "If you don't like it. Get the hell out of OUR state." I was so young and cocky then. Of course, it's not exactly my fault. We are born and raised to be cocky in this state. Growing up I remember being constantly told that we were the only state that was once it's own country. We were raised to be proud little Texans. It's not until you actually travel around outside of Texas that you realize just how arrogant Texans really are. This would explain our current President. "We'll get 'em, either dead or alive". Gotta love that spaghetti western talk coming out of the white house.

For the ones you love

What else are you supposed to do with a loved one after they pass on to a better place?

Bling Bling

eleven thirty-eight PM CST

That's when Apple officially hit one billion songs downloaded.
I tried my best to be that person. I guess I'll have to wait and see if I was the lucky wiener.

I want to feel your inside and out

I went to lunch today with a friend and on the way back we were listening to a song. The rest of the conversation follows.

Friend: "What are the words to the next line?"
Me:"I want to feel your inside and out."
F: "That's much worse than my initial guess. I thought it was 'I want to feel your enema'."
M: "Oh, yeah. I guess it could be that too."
F: "Actually, I found out already. It's 'I want to feel your INNER LOVE'. How the hell do you feel someone inside and out anyways."
(Actually, I'm surprised I didn't go the obvious sexual route here. Instead I went the morbid route)
M: "Well, I guess I could if I was wearing their skin. You know like some kind of human body suit. Then I could feel their inside and out."
(Insert awkward silence here)
F: "That's pretty messed up."

Then we switched topics. I always seem to be more morbid than everyone else around me. I don't know why I'm like that. It's just who I am. So later this question popped into my mind.

If you had to lose either a hand or foot, which would you choose?
I think I would choose the hand. If the foot was chosen, then I couldn't run away from danger as quickly. Seriously, how far could you really hop from a mass murderer? And I couldn't afford one of those replacement foot pods, so I would probably have some form of wooden stick as a foot. Speaking of which, I could then use a cool looking hook for a hand replacement. Oh yeah, think of all the fun accessories you could use in place of a hand (hook, fishing pole, steak knife). And don't even get me started with the kinky stuff. I'm choosing the hand all the way.

Show me the payolla

I want to be the billionth customer.
It's gonna happen tonight or tomorrow.
It's so close, I can taste it.

Don't have much time to blog now, I'm busy watching the counter.

Where are those damn sheep?

My sleep patterns are way out of whack (again). I am sleeping during the day and wide awake at night. The worst part... I'm supposed to wake up at 6:00 to get to the DPS office by 7:00AM. I don't see that happening really. I really need to go though.

(Looking around)
I'll tell you a little secret as long as you don't go telling everyone.
I'm driving illegally. My license expired last Friday and I haven't been able to renew it yet. I wanted to renew it today (seeing how I was off already), but the DPS office was closed (President's Day). So you can understand my dilemma. Can't you?

I know, I know... I can hear the logical reasoning already. I was warned in advance about my license expiring soon. Well, I planned on renewing my license online. No wait, no fuss. Just use my same picture and send me my damn license. Only, there was a small problem. So I try to renew my license last Thursday (a whole day earlier than the expiration. Thank you very much.), but there was this little issue. Remember when I mentioned my wallet getting stolen last summer?

Well, I was just using an older license (same information except for the address). It has been working fine for the past seven months or so, until last week. Apparently, each license is issued a completely separate number. The driver's license number is not good enough to make the license unique. They print an eleven (I think it's eleven) digit number on the side of the picture. And they require this number in order to renew your license online. SHIT.

So, what are my options? One, go to the DPS office in person and wait like cattle for slaughter. Or two, see option number one. Looks like I'll be wasting a few hours of my life tomorrow morning.

Have you ever driven into any of the border towns in Mexico? If you have, then you know about the boys who watch your car for a nominal fee. There are street kids that will watch your car and make sure no one steals it for a few dollars. I seriously doubt they are watching my car, but it makes me feel less paranoid about my car anyway. I wish those kids were at the DPS station. I could then have one wait in line for me while I chill in my car. Then when my place in line reaches the front, they notify me that my spot is near the front and I take their place. That would be one hell of a system. You can't tell me that I'm the only one that would take advantage of that kind of service.

DAMN IT...
I only hope I can go to sleep by 2:00ish. I'm wide awake and it's one in the feakin morning. Hah... I love that word, freakin. FREAKIN HOT MAGMA. Freakin rambling again, I am.

Thrill Seeker

I am just in a writing mood today. I have all kinds of thoughts throughout the day, but I'm either too busy to capture them on my site or too lazy (ok, truth be told just too lazy).

I remember how dangerous my childhood was growing up. It was not dangerous because my family abused me or anything. Rather, it was dangerous because I was a boy. Boys have a tendency to be stupid when they are young. We do things that are not very safe nor smart. I imagine that girls do more dangerous things when they are younger as well, but I can't know for sure because I was a boy.

Anyway, I remember watching "Mary Poppins" when I was a young lad. Of course, the first thing I do after the movie. Jump off my roof with an umbrella to see if I would float to the ground. Nope... didn't float that was for sure. I remember seeing "Superman" growing up. Of course you can predict what happened next. Yep, jumped off the roof to see if I could fly. Nope, didn't fly. So I realized my mistake. Superman will take a few steps before you flies into the air. I just needed a running start. So I backed up about fifteen feet and took off running. I cleared my neighbor's fence and landed in his backyard, but didn't fly. Oh and then there was "Indiana Jones". I went out and wanted a bull whip. Yep, I was whipping everything I could reach. Including my friends. Or I would pull the whip back to hard and pop myself in the head. I was always hurt as a child. Oh oh oh... even better was when my friends and I saw a monster movie one time. They used aerosol cans to create a flame thrower. So we taped candles to the end of a Lysol can and lit the candles. Then we would press the nozzle and voila... Instant flame thrower. That was actually pretty cool until one day I stopped pressing the nozzle and there was a flame coming out of the nozzle. Scared shitless I throw the can as far as I could. No explosion. Nothing. I thought for sure it would explode like a grenade. I could go on and on with more stories like these.

I guess the whole point of rambling concerns the fact that when we are younger, we are more risky. We laugh in the face of danger. So do we grow older and realize how young and stupid we were or do we just become more conservative because that is what society tells us to do? I think we actually change because of society. Look at some of these wealthy billionaires. Society labels them as thrill seekers. So thrill seekers are just boys who have never grown up in society's eyes.

I want to be seen as a "thrill seeker".

Geek Sins

Bless me Internet, for I have sinned. It has been forever since my last confession.

I am a geek at heart. Always have been and always will be. I assume if you are reading this blog, you must have some geek in you as well (if not, would you like some? Haha... love that joke. I'm also a dork). Back to the matter at hand. I love all things geek in nature. I LOVE the Internet. If gay couples can legally marry in some states, then why can't I marry my Internet?

In fact, some day I want to build a google shrine. I utilize google almost every single day. Don't know what a word means, google it. Don't know how to spell a word, google it (I use google for spelling help than I do a dictionary. Just type in how you think the word is spelled and google will give you the correct spelling when it asks, "Did you mean...."). I am constantly wondering how such and such works so I google it. Did I mention that I love google.

I also love podcasts. If you have not heard any podcasts, then OH MY GOD!!! There are several really good ones out there. Just go download em. I like "The Onion" podcasts. It is just like their site, with some parody article for the day. Of course I have my techie podcasts as well (Diggnation, TWIT, dl.tv).

I also really like Dr. Who. Both the old episodes and the new BBC episodes released last year. I don't know why I'm expressing my interest in Dr. Who.

These are my geek confessions.

Why you be hatin on the Mac

I noticed this change from blogger.com earlier this week. At first I thought it was just my laptop, but I just realized that it is happening on my desktop as well. This makes me think that blogger.com (google) is changing some internal settings on their side.

I noticed a while back that from a PC, you get extra font options when you create a blog entry. The Mac version gets NO font options. Well, this week they made even more restrictions. I do not have the option to adjust my post time. This is a real problem for me. I usually start an entry and then save it as a draft. Then later, I come back and add some more stuff. Or someone will come to my desk, so I have to stop real quick and then come back to my writing later.

Now everything is posted at the initial time of creation. This sucks because I believe it should show the time I post the entry to my site, not the time I started writing the entry.

YOU HEAR ME BLOGGER.COM.... THIS SUCKS....

Higher Power

Anyone who has read my site for a while knows that I'm not much of a religious person. I was raised Catholic, but have not been a practicing Catholic for quite some time now. This does not mean that I am not a spiritual person. I am very spiritual. In fact, my whole concept of Karma is spiritual in nature. I do believe in a higher power. I just don't think it's up to a church or religion to explain what my higher power is or what the higher power wants me to do in life.

The reason this has been brought to my attention today was the drive into work this morning. My boss txt'd me this morning that she needs to speak with me when I get into the office. My boss usually calls. So when she text messaged me, I knew it was important. Anyway, this was at 8:15AM. I just got out of the shower...

Holy crap. Technically, I'm supposed to be in the office by 8:00AM. I did my morning rush and left for the office at 8:45. (Yes, I'm like a girl. It sometimes takes me an hour to get ready in the morning. So 30 minutes was pretty good for me. This kind of beauty doesn't come naturally, ya know.)

Now, this is where the divine intervention comes into play. The drive from the southwest side is normally at least an hour with rush hour traffic, but this morning it was weird. There was NO traffic. Well there was some traffic, but literally very very few cars. My hour long drive in was shortened to 25 minutes. Is that freaky, or what?

So, I will do what all the other religious freaks do and call it a miracle. This was my traffic miracle of 2006.

Stick it to me

I have a friend who is currently trying to quit smoking cigarettes. He was a moderate smoker so his chances of actually quitting are pretty good. He is on the patch. From what I understand, this patch administers a small dose of nicotine at timed intervals throughout the day. This is not his first time trying to quit smoking. So do the patches really work?

I can imagine how hard it is to give up something your addicted to. I could not imagine my life without caffeine. Ya know what would be cool? If there was a patch for every kind of addiction. I want to give up caffeine, I stick on a patch and quit drinking caffeinated drinks. I want to give up energy drinks, I stick on an energy patch and let it slowly release that heavenly energy juice into my system (sorry about that. getting carried away there). Anyway, you get my drift. So no matter what your addiction, there would be a patch to help you quit. Imagine the possibilities. Tivo patch. iTunes patch. Internet porn patch.

Then again, maybe there is a reason there is no such thing as some of these patches. I know myself all too well. I really wouldn't try to quit my addictions. Rather, I would use these patches to supplement my addictions. How cool would that be. I could mix and match my addictions. I'd stick on an energy drink patch while drinking coffee. Or use my Internet porn patch while watching Tivo. Now that would be cool.

Life Sines

Am I the only one who has drama in his life ALL the time? Actually, drama is not the correct word to use here. Stress would be a better word. It seems like my life is always full of stress somehow. ALL THE TIME.

If my professional life is going stress free, then my personal life is stressed. If my personal life is stress free, then my work life is stressed. I thought initially it was my perception of how my life is going at that moment in time. I created the stress whenever it was in my life.

I don't think this is the case anymore. I can honestly see a pattern here. I believe that our lives follow some sort of rhythmic pattern. It's like a sine wave. There are highs and lows to this life pattern. They are constant, but the amplitude of the waves change quite frequently. When life is more stressful, the amplitude of the wave increases.

My original thoughts were completely different. I thought that a normal person did not have these "waves" in their life all the time. There would be this flatline and then when there was stress, the waves would occur. As things calmed down, the flatline would reappear. I don't think this is the case anymore. I think we can never have a true flatline. There will always be something stressing us. If it's a little stress then the amplitude of the wave is miniscule. Naturally, my life is full of big positive and large negative amplitude waves. Perhaps, I am prone to amplify these waves artificially. I stress out sometimes when there really is no need to stress. I learned this behavior from my mother. She stresses out over the smallest things. As I get older, I notice these patterns with more clarity.

So... why am I putting this fault out there for the world to judge? For the same reason I put all my other faults out there. To help me stop reacting in the same pattern. I don't like all this amplified stress in my daily life. I know there has to be a better way to live. If this post brings me one step closer to that style of life, then by all means I will share it with the world.

HHD

So today is Happy Hearts Day. I wasn't quite sure what to put out there today. I just don't know. Is it proper etiquette to wish people a "Happy Valentine's Day"? Or is that something you say only to a special someone? Really...

Well, I'm not one that usually has proper manners anyway. So, I'll just come right and say it.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

There. So... That is that.

Babble On

I've noticed that the last few days, my posts have been rather trivial. They appear to lack substance. I wonder if this is because I just don't have anything insightful to say lately or am I becoming a boring individual? Yeah, I've been extremely busy at work lately, but that's no excuse. Plenty of people are swamped in their daily life and still have time to post some pretty impressive blogs. I sure hope I don't become one of those people who live in a rut.

I hate monotony. I love being the "unique" one in crowds. Is this because I was missing some sort of attention as a child? What would Freud say of my life? I don't know... We'll have to see how my posts will be in the next few days before I can really judge myself. I am my own worst critic. But then again, who isn't?

New York, Schmew York

In a few minutes, I'm off to go see the Rockets play the Knicks. We beat them last week in their house. Let's hope we can repeat the effort tonight in our house. I haven't been to a Rocket's game since the pre-season. In fact, I've been a terrible fan this season. I haven't really kept up with them this season like a real fan should. I know they have had a lot of injuries that have been hurting us this season, but I would have still been a faithful fan watching the games. I don't know why I haven't been watching them as much. It's never too late to start watching them more often, I suppose.

Anyway, I hope they win. Watching the game in real life is much more enjoyable when the home team wins.

Fire

Fire
sparkling light
dancing in the cold winter's night

Fire
creating shadows all around
crackling with sound

Fire
Alluring inviting
inspires my writing

Fire is the life that's within
Fire is inside all of us
Flames burning bright

Work so hard

Why do we work so hard as humans? I have never seen an animal stressed out about life. They get hungry and find something to eat. They get tired and go to sleep. Humans are different. We constantly fill our lives with various activities and work until we pass out from exhaustion. I guess not all humans act that way. There are people out there that really don't do much in life, but society labels these people as slackers or lazy.

I do several side jobs to help supplement my income. Do I really need the extra money? Would I survive if I didn't have that extra monthly work? I probably would. My lifestyle would be different, but I would find a way to survive and not live out on the street. So why do I take on these extra side jobs and stress my life out even more. I honestly think that maybe I should stop working these extra jobs.

Of course, reality kicks in that I have an expensive lifestyle. I am one of the few people out there that is addicted to modern convince. I love to camp or "rough it", but I also love my iPod, computer, TV, and Tivo. I love to get new electronics and cradle them at night. I like to feel the rush as I open the plastic to my new electronic gadget. Therefore, I know I can not easily drop my side jobs because they feed my addictions.

So what's a guy to do? Well, for starters I can bitch about it on the Internet.

Encouragement

In my previous life I was a loner. I did not really show others my emotions and rarely paid attention to how I felt. I would joke around anytime I felt down or would cut myself off from the world. I am proud to say that I am no longer like this. I not only like words of encouragement, but I also ask when I need some encouragement. This is a whole new process for me. It still feels a little strange to do, but I must admit it feels good when it happens. I just wanted to thank everyone who has given me an sort of encouragement lately.

I'm starting to feel all warm and fuzzy inside now. The old me would have told myself "Buck up and be a man", but now I know that real men can express emotions as well. Who the hell says "Buck Up" anyway? I really did say that to myself. How retarded is that?

Itchy ass

Okay, I lied... I can't be too serious today. I'm starting to bum myself out.

Have you ever had an itchy ass? If so my friend, you may have pinworms. This was a topic of discussion I had yesterday evening. The truly schizophrenic in me wants to freak out. I have to admit that I am a little more paranoid about sitting in public chairs after that conversation. What if I sit in a chair that someone just got up from and they have pinworms. The eggs can stick to the chair and next thing you know your rubbing your ass on the ground like a dog.

And for the love of god, don't go looking up pinworms on google. You'll be freaked out by what you might see. Do normal people have these kind of conversations? I feel like such a freak sometimes.

And for the record, I DO NOT have pinworms nor have I ever had pinworms. And no one I associate with has publicly announced their contraction of pinworms. I just had to get that out there.

Fork in the road

Am I the only person in this world that does not see a fork in the road when I approach it? I seem to never see that life changing decision while it is occurring, only afterwards in hindsight. In kind of bums me out at times because I wonder if I would have made a different decision had I known there were other options at that moment.

One of these decisions involves my educational path. I really wished I went to a local college first before attending a major university. I may have learned to not party so much and then I could have really focused my energies while in the major university. But noooo, I went straight to Texas A&M from high school. I couldn't resist the urge to party and slack off. When I was deciding which university to attend, I had no other options in my mind. It was A&M all the way. In fact, I didn't even apply to any other colleges. I kind of just took it for granted that I would go there. I didn't even consider what would happen if they didn't accept me. That was one of those life choices I never made. It was like I had my life all figured out and would not ever need to make any decisions in life. How naive I was.

My latest fork in the road I fear is concerning my current career path. I have this path that I am on, but I didn't choose this path. It was actually chosen for me. I was new and eager to learn anything. I had an opportunity to learn a new operating system and took that chance. And now nine years later, I'm a system administrator. I kind of just kept going on that career path. But what if I was supposed to be a manager or a programmer? Every time an opportunity came up that led me down that path, I would reject it without thinking about the choice.

I know this post is going on and on and on... I just wonder sometimes if my choices are the right choices. I think that I don't THINK enough about my choice options. I kind of just pick one and go with it. Maybe I'm being too hasty sometimes.

I apologize for the rather bummy post today. I feel it's going to be one of those life contemplating days ahead.

Latest Discovery

I can't believe I've never been in this store. I have discovered the joys of Tuesday Morning. They have so many cool household things. It can't be put into words the coolness factor of this store. Why just today, I bought a French press coffee maker. Now all I need is the coffee and I'm set. I think I'll stop by Deidrich Coffee tomorrow and pick up a bag of coffee. I'll be French pressing in no time.

I know, I know. Pretty feminine of me to think a household store is cool. But in my defense, buying a coffee maker does make me a little more manly. And I almost bought some beer glasses. I just didn't know when I would use them. Considering I drink straight from bottle and all (imagine John Wayne voice here).

I'm heading back tomorrow and buying a new chest for my living room. It's normally 50% off and they are taking an additional 30% off on top of that. Damn it... There goes any form of manliness I achieved today. Gotta start over again (after tomorrow so I can still by my chest).

Pizza Pizza

Do you remember the old Little Caesar's pizza commercials? I was driving home today and saw a guy dressed up as Little Caesar trying to get people into the restaraunt. I didn't even know the place was still around. I haven't seen a commercial from them in a long time. This guy was pretty funny. He was hopping around in the middle of an intersection and was dancing. It was kind of funny becuase his head was about three feet high.

The last time I had Little Caesar's pizza was in college (long time ago, in a galaxy far far away). We were in College Station and it was kind of late. There were five of us and we were all hungry so we decided to order pizza. Well, Little Caesar's was running a special. $2 large pepporoni pizzas. We ordered ten of them. Two for each of us. The rest of the night was a little hazy, but I do remember we each ate two whole pizzas per person. Aahh, the joys of being young with a high metabolism. There is no way I could do that now. I'd end up bloated and up all night with heart-burn. Aahh, the pain of being old.

Fill 'er up

ANSWER:
carbonated water, sucrose, glucose, cirtic acid, natural flavors, taurine, sodium citrate, color added, panax ginseng, root extract, l-carnitine, caffeine, ascorbic acid, sorbic acid, benzoic acid, niacinamide, sodium chloride, glucuronolactone, inositol, guarana seed extract, pyridoxine, hydrochloride, sucralose, riboflavin, maltodextrin, cyanocobalamin.

QUESTION:
What is all the crap I drink to give me a little extra "pick me up", Alex?

That's right. This is the list of ingredients in a Monster energy drink. What the hell is riboflavin? And why is it in so many things? My drink doesn't have the flavor of ribs...

Of course, I'm posting this like this is some sort of self realization that this drink is bad for me and I'll quit drinking it (I love run on sentences). Whatever... I've drank worse. I can't stop drinking these drinks. How else can I get my daily supply of pyridoxine? Well, I'm waiting for an answer. I don't see inositol listed in my Total 100% cereal. And I certainly don't see maltodextrin listed in the Centrum vitamin ingredients. I have to drink these energy drinks to maintain these important nutrients (chemicals... it's all the same).

Anyway, I'm all hopped up on energy right now and can't sit still. It wouldn't be so bad, but my hands are typing faster than my brain and this doesn't mix too well with computers. It's like they have a life of their own.

It reminds me of the movie "Evil Dead 2". The part where his hand becomes infected with the zombie virus and tries to kill him. So he has to cut off his own hand with a chainsaw. I don't know why it reminds me of that scene. I guess the whole hands having a life of their own. Crap, I need to get rid of this excess energy...

Anal retentive

The monk side of me couldn't let this one go.

It was supposed to be "They're down" not "Their down". I suck at speeling. and grammer. and pretty much anything related to the English language.

Superbowl extra-large

Come on Pittsburgh, you can do it.....

Their down 3 to nothing, but there is still three quarters left in the game. I am such a dork. Instead of focusing on the game, I'm sitting here updating my blog. I need to get out more.

Voluntary Submission

I have to do it. I can't go on like this. It's too shameful.

I have officially submitted my manhood card. Yep, turned it right in this morning. I can no longer call myself a man. I found myself this morning sorting AND organizing my clothes in my closet. They are sorted by color, style, fabric, and use. I can't believe I'm admitting this to the world.

So most of the women out there are thinking, "So What?". I know it doesn't seem too strange to women. I have known plenty of women that have done this very same thing in the past. I have made fun of every single person that has done this. And now look. I have become one of THEM. Good lord, what is happening to me?

I can watch a gay cowboy movie and still be a man. I can admit that I like to wear pink and still be a man. Hell, I can even order an egg salad sandwich with iced tea and still be a man. But I can't do this. I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was almost over. It's not like I woke up this morning and said, "I think I'll re-arrange my closet by color and style." No, I was a man this morning which involved getting up half asleep, scratching my ass, and taking a leak. Then just sitting there and doing nothing. I think it all started when I decided to finish doing a load of laundry. Then I started hanging up the clothes and next thing I know I'm crying because I lost my manhood. Well, I wasn't really crying, but there was a sense of sadness. When you've been a man for almost 32 years, you tend to miss it when it's gone.

I know I'm being all melodramatic, but guys now a days don't have much left. Women constantly complain about equality. So we gave them equality. Then there was "Sex and the City". Lord knows now that the differences between men and women are no longer as clear as they used to be. It's the little things that matter. And this was one of those little things.

Anyway, I guess I'll have to go learn to crochet or something. Then I can crochet myself a pair of panties.

Consequences

Have you ever seen South Park? It seems like almost every episode the kids make some mistake that turns into this world changing event.

I was watching an episode this morning. Yes, THIS MORNING at 6:00AM. What the HELL??? Why am I naturally waking up before daylight on my own. I was never a morning person. Aw crap. It wouldn't be so bad if I went to bed early, but I'm naturally nocturnal. I tried to fall asleep early last night (If 10:00PM is considered early), but I ended up not falling asleep until around 1:00AM. Five hours later, I'm staring at the ceiling wide awake, so I decided to watch the stupid traffic report on the news. Thank goodness for Tivo. I used this extra lack of sleep time to catch up on my recorded shows. Okay, enough of this rambling. Back to the topic at hand.

I had this old roommate that never drank. I knew him since elementary school and we were roommates in college. We moved apart and then after my divorce, we became roommates again. This was in our mid-twenties. (Is all this information really necessary? I feel the need to properly set-up the story by explaining the boring details.) I finally convinced him to try wine coolers (he loved Kool-Aid so I thought it would be an easy transition). He thought they were "OK" and didn't say anything about them again. I thought, "Oh well, I tried." Then it happened. One day I came home from work early and he was sitting in his room on his computer drinking a wine cooler. I thought I was seeing things. I found out he really liked them and was buying them after work. He would then drink them and neither I nor my other roommate knew he was drinking. He was hooked on them. What did I do to his life? Before I convinced him to drink the wine cooler, he was perfectly happy with his life. I moved out into my own place a short time after that and haven't really talked to him since. I have this fear sometimes that maybe he turned into an alcoholic and is living on the streets somewhere. Or maybe he went from alcohol to drugs. It's an easy transition to make. Or so I heard on the street.

Of course, I am probably overreacting, as usual. He is probably fine and quit drinking after I moved out. I could always attempt to call him and find out for sure. Nah, it would take to much effort. It's far more fun to sit on my ass and make up wild stories.

I'm a firm believer in the "butterfly effect". Whatever we do right now, could have serious consequences in our future. I think about this a lot sometimes (Now that was a totally contradicting sentence. "a lot sometimes"? I talk like this all the time, on occasion). Then I start thinking crazy shit. What if just the thought of me affecting the future is affecting the future? What if I decide not to do something because it may affect the future is causing me to miss something important. It's an endless spiral. No wonder I'm so tired all the time. Just my thinking alone is exhausting. Anyway, the secret to not affecting the future is to just do what you want to do. You can not predict the future because it is dynamic and always changing. Therefore, you have to just live it. Don't be afraid of change, because change is good.

This is my philosophical thought for the day. Wow, my head hurts now. Can someone pass me a wine cooler?

Song Sense

Do songs ever remind you of a certain memory? I was driving to dinner last night and heard "Nothing Compares 2 You" by Sinead O'Connor. This song always reminds me of when I was 16.

(Fading away to the past)

I was 16 and we (my friends and I) would sneak out of the house and "temporarily borrow" our parents cars. You know how hard it is to push a car down the street in neutral to ensure the sound of the car did not unnecessarily wake anyone up? Anyway, I digress, we would start out around 2:00 AM and drive around until around 5:45. Why 5:45? Because, most of our parents would wake up at 6:00 AM and we needed to be back in our room by then. So where is this all heading? I remember this song because it was just being released and they were playing the hell out of it. We would be sitting in parking lots and shouting this song out loud. So now, everytime I hear this song, I flash back to those nights.

(Back to reality again)

Aahhh, the memories of when I was bad. Now that I'm not bad anymore, I can cherish those times (sitting here looking perfectly innocent with my soft child-like eyes).

I have hundreds of memories tied to songs somehow. It could be something as simple as where I was standing when I first heard the song, or something dramatic in my life and I associated it to a song. Surely, I can't be the only person who does this. I just haven't met many people who experience this same song to memory association.