Humanity

I know it's been a while since I have posted to anything to this site. I was on spring break two weeks ago and I have been doing a lot of thinking last week.

I knew this guy that passed away last week. He was only 28 years old. His death really had me thinking about my life and what I have put into this world. His death was not a sudden accident but it wasn't something that was expected. He had liver problems and died because of those problems. The initial problem wasn't discovered until late last year. I remember drinking with this guy not too long ago. Did his heavy alcohol consumption contribute to his death? It very well could have.

His death along with my viewing of "Body Worlds 3" at the museum has me thinking hard about my drinking patterns. It has kind of put some fear into my drinking. I know this doesn't make much sense to most people, but I have been thinking hard about my life. He was only 28 years old. What the fuck???

I have known people that have passed away in my life, but most of them were older than me. This creates an illusion that it may not be me in that same scenario. But when the person is younger than you, it makes me realize that I can die any day now. I could walk out of my office this afternoon and get hit by a car. I realized that I do not have a living will. This scares me.

I wonder if I have done enough in my life to feel complete when I pass away. Would I be ready to pass to the "other" side or would I be one of these wandering ghosts that feel no completion in their lives? I try to live my life like it is the last, but I'm not sure I have really done that.

All that time I have spent watching Tivo or on the computer. Is it wasting my time? I'm not so sure. Those moments allow me to unwind and provide some sense of stress reduction. Damn it. Is my babbling wasting my time?

Life was so much easier when I was in my ignorant little bubble.