Real or Memorex?

I had this thought on the way into work this morning. Is it me or is life and movies becoming this big blurry object. I know that makes no sense, but hear me out. When I was a kid, I would watch a movie and think, "this is such a cool movie". Then a few months later, I would remember that movie and smile. Now, I see a movie and a few months later I can't remember if I saw something in a movie or it happened in real life. Not in my life... I'm not that messed up in the head. I mean, like I read it somewhere or saw it on the Internet. There are so many movies out there based on "real" events. It's hard to keep track in my head whether something really happened or I just saw it in a movie somewhere. Am I the only one having this problem?

Seriously, it freaks me out a little (actually this morning it freaked me out a lot). I read so many things on the Internet and watch so much television, that it may be distorting my perspective of reality. After all, reality is nothing more than my version of life. My reality is completely different than your reality. So, I have no way of verifying that it was real. Oh yeah, I can ask others if it really did happen, but how often could I do that? Sooner or later, I'll be labeled a looney. Am I going senile? Is this what people with Alzheimer's go through every day?

I have a grandmother that has Alzheimer's. It's very sad at times. I don't like to think about her life now. I know that's a very selfish act, but it hurts a lot to think about it. I remember a very different person compared to the way she is now. I used to have a hard time in the past expressing feelings like this out loud. And in any written form, forget about it. It does sadden me though and it really does freak me out that one day I could become a person in the same situation. When she was my age, I'm sure she never expected to get the disease.

I know I switched topics on you, but it is all related. Since I believe that reality is based on my perspective of life, then what is going on in my head. I can't remember if I saved the world from alien invaders last week or was it some movie I watched. Okay, I know I'm bullshitting now. I just started feeling a little too emotional with that last topic and had to switch it. I have so much to learn about these things called "feelings". God, it sucks to feel sometimes.