Did you ever know that your my hero?

What do I give myself for my four year anniversary?

EXACTLY four years ago, I posted my first entry into this site. I can't believe it's been four years already. The entry was rather simple, yet profound. It captured the exact emotion I was feeling during that part of my life. I was so confused and had no idea who I was as a person.

I should have looked at that entry as some type of foreshadowing. Of course, that meant that I would have actually had to pay attention to myself. THAT was not happening during that point in my life. I was too focused on my relationship and did not pay attention to what I needed in my life.

Now, I am much more balanced. Perfect? Not even close... I am not looking to be perfect. I just want to be happy with myself and find someone who will accept me for me. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has flaws and imperfections. We all have skeletons in our closets. Some of us just have bigger closets than others. Me, I have a very tiny closet. But you know I'm Mexican, so I have this amazing ability to cram a whole fuck load of skeletons into that small amount of space.

So what is the hidden meaning to this post? I'll let you in on a secret. THERE IS NO HIDDEN MEANING. You know, sometimes a book is just a book. No hidden message, no moral of the story, no symbolism... just words on a piece of paper.

So back to my question. What do I give myself for my four year anniversary? Knowledge.

Knowledge to know that I have done the best I can for myself the past four years. There were good times and LOTS of bad times, but I grew along the way. I kept moving forward a little at a time. I may have slid back a whole lot at times, but I continued to point in the right direction and never gave up. I am the wind beneath my wings (sing it in a Bette Midler voice and it sounds so much better).