Me versus them

I noticed a lone ant wandering inside my bathtub and figured it was trapped. It kept trying to climb up the side and would fall back down. Normally I would feel sorry for a creature stuck like that, but not for the ant. If I had to choose an arch nemesis, it would definitely be the ant. Especially these damn fire ants down in Texas. Small little boogers that burn like hell.

I remember as a child playing in the grass and running around the yard. Oh, such bliss to be outside and playing with your friends. Until that dreaded day.

I must have been around ten years old. A group of my friends and I were playing all day. Back then you had a big gang that did everything together (boys and girls). We played and played and would then sit down and relax. We would contemplate life and enjoy our youth. That's when I felt the burn. It was a burn unlike any other. I immediately jumped up (which startled all my friends) and yanked my shorts and underwear off in front of all of them. There I was standing naked from the waste down in front of all my friends. Well, not completely naked, because there were about forty fire ants biting me all over my legs, back, groin, and butt. I started screaming and ran into the house. I headed straight to the shower and washed them off. I was in complete shock from the pain.

Did I mention that I'm allergic to fire ants? Real bad. I swelled up and started running a fever. After the initial shock wore off that night, I realized that I just stripped naked in front of all my friends. I was so embarrassed that I wouldn't go outside for a week. Luckily, they never mentioned that day and I hid it in the depths of my damp dark memories.

So, to this day, I get my revenge one ant at a time. "Mr. Ant, say hello to ma little friend Mr. Foot".