The Chase

A friend once told me, "If you don't go looking for love, it'll come
looking for you."

Independence

What is the greatest gift you can instill in your child? Independence.

I have been teaching this school of thought to my daughter for last
five years of her life. She is eleven now and I am very proud of all
her accomplishments. When she is with me, she truly takes care of
herself when it comes to all basic needs in life.

And last night, she took it one step further. Before last night, she
would get what she needs and do it herself. For example, she knows
where all of the stuff is to make breakfast and makes it herself.
But, if something is not there she usually calls out for me because
she can't find the cereal or whatever. Last night, we were out of
bath soap in the shower and she didn't call for me. Instead, she went
all "Scooby Do" on me and went searching for it herself. She found
some hidden away in my super secret soap area of the cabinets and put
a new bar in the shower for her to use.

Now I know what you are saying, "What's the big deal. The kid just
got some soap."
Well it is a big deal:

A: Because she's my kid and anything she does is a big deal in my eyes.
B: Because she didn't ask for my help and didn't even tell me she did
this. If you know my daughter, this is the surprising part.

I guess I don't suck that bad as a parent.
Now, if only I could teach her quantum physics, make billions of
dollars, and support her old man so he can move to Belize.

Learning about myself

What determines the characteristics of a person?
Why is it that I'm so anti-social at times?

I feel so alone lately, but I just don't feel like talking to strangers.

I was at a bar and I could tell people wanted to talk to me, but I
just ignored them and wanted to be left alone.
Is there something wrong with me?
How could a person that feels so lonely, want to be alone.
Very troubling times these are...

There must be some subconscious reason for me wanting to be alone. I
have never lived alone before and now I am trying to get used to the
idea of caring for my feelings before others. I was thinking about
my need for instant gratification today. I have to learn to be more
patient in life and wait for the world to come to me. I have this
impulsive nature to want to have this perfect relationship drop in my
lap right at this moment. I don't mind working for the relationship,
but I don't expect to have to wait for it. This is definitely the
problem with my past relationships. I put too many expectations on
the relationship to be perfect and when they weren't I didn't
understand why there was a problem.

I don't blame my last girlfriend for wanting to be out of the
relationship. I placed too much pressure on the relationship and she
finally realized that the life I wanted and the life she wanted did
not match. The strange thing is that this is the first person I have
actually loved whole-heartedly. I am happy for her even if she does
not want to be with me. As long as she is getting what she needs in
life, then I can honestly say that I am happy for her. I have never
understood what true love was until now.

The only problem is that true love hurts more than anything I have
ever felt before. I have never had my heart broken before and I
definitely understand why I didn't put my emotions fully into
relationships before. I was always afraid of the pain that would
occur if the relationship didn't work and now I definitely see that I
was right on that aspect. But, and that's a big BUT, I do not regret
putting myself out there in full glory. I believe that I can do this
again with someone else in time.

Time heals all things, including my heartache...

Not Guilty

What has this world come to?

This jury thinks that it is not a problem for a grown man to sleep
with children in his bed.
This obviously helps support my theory that those with money can do
whatever they want.

Money = Power = "Whatever the hell you want"

It must suck to be a prosecutor in California...

I Believe

"If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...
and try to find someone who's life is giving them vodka and have a
party."

That is my motto for this weekend.

Faith

"To completely trust something you can not see or explain."

What a Weekend

I have to say that this past weekend was a blast. I took my daughter
and my sisters to Astroworld and we went on every roller coaster at
least once. My daughter rode the Texas Cyclone (wooden roller
coaster) for the first time and absolutely loved it. She told me,
"Daddy, this is definitely my favorite roller coaster." I also
taught her to ride the roller coasters with her hands in the air. I
must admit, my daughter definitely has no fear. I love the way she
is willing to just jump in head first no matter what fears she may
have. This is definitely a strong trait I will encourage because she
will get far in life with that kind of attitude.

The next day, I took her to see her very first Houston Astros
baseball game. She thought it was pretty cool. She was totally into
the game until around the sixth inning. Eleven year old girls can
only take so much baseball. She did like the different claps and
cheers that we performed at the game. I asked her what her favorite
part of the game was and she said, "When the batters hit the home
runs." She liked the energy the crowd had after the home runs and all
of the screaming and cheering. Fortunately for her, the Astros hit
two home runs that game. She was also very fortunate to be at a
winning game for her first game. I think it will make the experience
more memorable in the the future.

The first week with her flew by and I am going to just enjoy as much
of the next few weeks as possible. I am really trying to live in the
"present" with her and just enjoy each day I spend with my daughter.

Summer of Ashley

My daughter and I are planning our next six weeks together. We have
so much planned (Astroworld, Astros Baseball Game, Camping) that we
are going to be extremely busy the next month. This is a good thing
because I want her to have the wonderful memories of the summer with
her "old man" while she is still young enough to enjoy them with me.
Only a few years left like this before the teenage demon spawn will
possess her spirit. Then her life will revolve around her friends and
boys.

It may sound crazy, but every time I look at her all I see is the
cute little two year old girl.
I think every father feels the same way about his daughter, but this
is different.
I know not to hold on to her too tight and just enjoy these moments
together while I have them.