Gotta learn this dance step

"Woman... I told ya to stay on beat! Don't make me go pimp on you again."

Fly away little birdy

Holy Mary Fiesta candle... Where art thou?

I know this site format has changed to an Astros update page, but you'll just have to get used to it until the Astros are no longer playing. This is history in the making if we can pull this off. We are now only 1/2 games back from St. Louis with Clemens pitching tomorrow. How cool is that?

I can't seem to get the Astros off my brain lately. I've been working my ass off at work (who came up with this working for pay crap anyway?) and this is my outlet to veg out and relax. Of course, I'm nervous as hell throughout the game. But when they win, the payoff is relaxation bliss. Only three more games in the regular season.

Hell, I might even go old school Catholic on them and light a candle for them. Assuming the church would let me through the door. I don't know... maybe I'll just light one at my place and act like it's a church candle. Ooo... Ooo... I know. I'll go buy one of those Mexican Virgin Mary candles from Fiesta and light that. That's the closest thing to a holy candle within my reach.

Well worth the lack of sleep

Eight in a row. That's our winning streak today. We finally won the game in the 15th inning. Four games left. Ooohhh, you dun axed for it now..... Bring it on.

Tired but still watching

I'm exhausted, but damn it the Astros are still in extra innings. We are in the middle of the 14th inning right now and hopefully they can win this one. If they win, we will still be 1.5 games back from St. Louis.

Stupid St. Louis... why did they have to win?

Bring it to pappa

Oh yeah, baby... bring it home to daddy.

1.5 games back from St. Louis. If I had money and I were a betting man, all my money would be on the Astros. All or nothing, baby!

Just last week we were 8.5 games back from St. Louis. Look at us now. Five more games. Only five more games. They have to want it bad. Like a crack whore who needs her fix. We are a dangerous team right now because we have nothing to lose. All of the pressure is on St. Louis right now and they are buckling under their own weight.

You have to see it to believe it

I was out with a friend this past weekend and he asks, "Are you really afraid of ghosts?" It took me by surprise for a second and then I realized that he was talking about my past posts. I forget that what I put out there can actually come back into conversation in the real world. I was living in this bubble of Internet world and then real world. Not many people know of my online rants in my real world, so I forget that there are a few people who do read this site.

Anyway, took you around the world to come back to this topic. Ghosts... do I really believe in them. Hhmm... Let me think about that answer.

HELL YEAH!

I've had many "unexplained" experiences in the past and somehow I am drawn to the paranormal or occult. I watch these stupid shows all the time and one of my latest shows is called "The Haunted". It's basically a re-enactment of what someone went through in the past. You know, like haunted houses or possessions. Blah, blah, blah. It's not really caught on camera, so it's not that official. What it is though, is scary as shit. It's like watching a ghost story for an hour. And fuck me if I end up watching these stupid shows right before I go to sleep. I always do that to myself. Anywho.. off subject again. I always yell at the TV, "Get the hell out of the house. Why don't you tell someone what you just saw? You idiot." I like to talk to the TV. Makes me feel more powerful or something.

Well, tonight I watched three of them back to back. I started thinking, shit that was me. I was fixing that computer in this guys house and was supposed to be alone. He left a key for me in the back yard. I rang the door bell several times just in case, but no one was home. I let myself in and started to work on the computer. About fifteen minutes into the repair I look up and there was this woman staring at me. She was giving me this real intense look. I told her I was sorry and I didn't know anyone was home. I looked down at the computer again and started talking to her. She never responded so I looked back up. She was gone. "Fuck" I thought I pissed her off and she would tell her husband that I just let myself in while she was home. I finished the computer and called out to her that I was done. No answer. I called again. Nothing. I walked all over both the upstairs and downstairs of the house, but no one was there. Then a cold chill went down my spine. I got the hell out of there and took off so fast. I asked the guy about his wife, but she was out of town for the week. No one was supposed to be there.

I never told anyone about that incident. Not my boss, not the guy, not even my wife at the time. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. I also never went back to his house to do any of the work. I told my boss I didn't feel comfortable working in his house by myself and requested that he drop off his computer at our shop if he needed any work on it. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I started to tell a few people about that incident.

I'm just like those people. I didn't know what to think and knew that if I ever told people they would look at me like I was a freak. I guess as time passes, it's easier to tell people what happened. This is why all of those stories took place twenty or thirty years ago. Enough time passed by to let them share their experiences with the world.

And for all those skeptics out there... you can have your opinion. But when something occurs to you, don't come running to me because I'll tell you "I told you so".

So close, yet so far

We are now only 2.5 games back from St. Louis. The excitement is killing me. Six more games left. I'm really starting to like our odds.

You know it

How sweet has this weekend been? The Astros swept the Cardinals and we are now only 3.5 games back. We have seven games remaining of the season. Time for us die hard fans to step up and cheer on the Astros.

So many people wrote them off a couple of weeks ago. Houston is funny like that. We have so many fair weathered fans in this town. When the teams are going good, oh everyone is a fan. But when the teams are not doing good, then they just dump them.

I have faith in my team and will never dump them like that. Come on Astros, you can make the playoffs again this year.

Trust your instinct

You know, I have to trust my instincts more often. I think they are there for a reason and sometimes you just need to stick to your guns and not back down.

I had this problem a long time ago with an ex-girlfriend stalking me. Seriously stalking me... She tried to convince my roommates at the time that I wanted her to come over and let her stay in my room while I was away. Fortunately for me, my roommate had enough sense to not let her in. I freaked out when he told me and told them that she was to never come inside while I was away. She also had this thing of calling between 2:00 AM - 5:00 AM several times a week.

Well, my girlfriend at the time (now ex-girlfriend) did not like her calling me at those hours. As I look back on it now, I think it was more of a insecurity issue with her and not trusting me. I would usually just ignore the calls and just delete the voicemails. It became a habit to set my phone on silent late at night and just ignore her. I figured she would just go away in time. Well, that was not good enough for her. She wanted me to change my phone number. I refused at first, but eventually gave in. She thought that I was taking my ex's side since I would not change my number. I do not like changing my ways for others.

I'm not stubborn (well actually I am, but this was not one of those times). I had that phone number for a long time and I knew it was out there with a lot of people that I have not spoken to in a while. I could not reach some of them, but I figured if they could reach me if needed. This seemed very logical to me. Logic does not go well in relationships. I have learned that the hard way.

So... you are probably wondering what the hell all of this has to do with the present. I received a call from a really good friend recently. It has been at least five years since I have talked to him. He found my number in one of his old phones and gave me a call to see if it was the same number. I lost his number a long time ago with all the phone conversions in the past few years. I recently switched phone providers and toyed with the idea of switching numbers. Start with a clean slate and all.

Well my instinct told me that I have had this number for a while, so perhaps I should keep the number the same. Just pay the damn money to switch your number over to the new provider. And now I get a call from him and we are going to start hanging out again. Catch up on old times.

I don't know. I seem to have lost my trust in myself in the past year or so. The little things like this reinforce the trust I have with my instincts.

Sweatin to the oldies

My electric bill went up 60% from last month. What the hell? I know I'm not really using that much more electricity. Whatever mister energy man... In spite of the man trying to keep me down, I've found a way to keep cool.

I've raised the thermostat pretty high and have decided to enjoy the feel of sweat. Good ol' fashioned sweat is good for the pores I hear. I strip down as much as possible and just deal with it. The only down side is when I'm on the laptop. I start to get sweaty wrists and hands and it totally feels wrong to be sweating on an expensive machine.

I have a feeling my neighbors are like the "Friends" group looking out their window.
"Oh look, it's the naked guy typing on the laptop again."
"Good for you naked guy."

Of course I'm not really naked... you do believe me don't you?

Future vision

Alone I sit in silence
Watching people walk by
I sip my beer and enjoy the cool breeze
I listen to this older guy do his drunk dialing
I let out a chuckle because he is drunk as hell
I stop drinking my beer because I don't want to be like that
A few more sips and I'm right there with him

Will that be me in twenty years...
I hope not. Lord please no. I feel this overwhelming sadness for him.

Art in Houston

I was on my way to work one day, when I saw this guy touching up these pieces he created. I would pass by these murals every day and decided to take a picture before the buildings are either torn down or his work is destroyed. I thought they were cool and really impressed considered he used spray paints to create these murals.

Never underestimate its power

Matamoscas = Spanish for fly swatter.

Growing up my grandmother taught me the power of the fly swatter. Only she would shorten it to "moscas". Whenever she would see anything flying in her house, she would have me get the mighty weapon.

"Mijo, go get me my moscas."

Then with one mighty swat, the object would disintegrate before my eyes. She could kill anything that flies with her moscas. I think she could even slay a flying dragon with that thing. She also taught me the valuable lesson of the moscas. I used to stay with her for a few weeks during the summers. Whenever I would do something bad, she would swat me with the moscas. Damn it used to sting like a mother bitch. It would then leave these tiny little square welts on my leg. Those were the days when punishment was really PUNISHMENT. And it can't be any 'ol fly swatter. No, the Mexican moscas must be the plastic squared fly swatter with the metal handle. It looked like a straightened out metal hanger with some plastic on the end.

As I got older, she taught me her method of swatting. "It's all in the wrists." You flick it just right with the wrists and you achieve maximum velocity. Okay, I made up that last part, but she did show me that the wrist action was the most important part of the slaying technique.

I recently had a bad wasp problem in my back porch last month and went out to buy some wasp spray. I sprayed those damn wasps several times with two different kinds of spray. They would just shake it off and laugh at me. Then they would do a fly by and watch me scramble inside the house. I could have sworn I heard them snickering at me as they flew by. I finally got tired of their shit and went out to by my own moscas. You can only push a man so far before he starts pushing back.

Needless to say, I have a wasp problem no more. I brought this up today because a fly flew into my house after I finished walking my dog. I wanted to kill it before she saw it but it was too late. You see, I have a very neurotic dog. She has this thing about flying insects in the house. I don't know what happened in the past. But ever since I've known her, she is deathly afraid of flying bugs. Damn it, now she will stay RIGHT by my side the whole night long. And I don't me next to me, nooo... I mean lean on your leg like she has no legs right next to me. I have to keep pushing her off and she just sneaks right back.

Anyway, you can see my dilemma. Should I use the moscas on her? That would keep her off of me. Hhmmm....

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't use it on her. You can not abuse the power of the moscas. You fellow Mexicans know what I'm talking about... I can't be the only one that has been old school disciplined.

Best Movie Line Ever

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

I'm a retard

Okay, so here I am typing this up at 3:00 AM in a deserted office. Just me and one other guy. He's in our data center though, so it's just me out here. The office is dark because they turn off all the lights except every 12th light (Believe me, I've counted them). So it's really dark in the corners. This would not be so bad EXCEPT...

I fucking watched this ghost show this afternoon before coming to work. It was about this haunted bar that had dark hallways just like this. The ghost would fuck with people as they walked down this long dark corridor. Fuck me, I had to pick that show to watch before coming to work tonight. I keep hearing creaks and noises. I tell myself it's just the old building, but damn it. I'm ready to haul ass out of here. Then your mind starts playing tricks and I feel like someone is watching me.

Why, oh why did I choose this career? I hate it when I have to come in to the office late at night, but it's even worse when your by yourself. FUCK... I keep hearing these noises down the hall. The only thing going for me is that I'm Mexican. You never see a Mexican checking out the creepy noises in horror movies. Fuck that! I'm waiting here till something comes close and then I'm hauling ass out of here. I don't have to out run the ghost, I just have to outrun the data center guy. Let the ghost get him and give me more time to get the hell out of here.

You are our last hope

I feel like Princess Leia telling Obi-Wan Kenobi that he is her last hope when I talk about the Astros. I wore my Astros jersey today to show my pride for the Astros. I feel as if I'm one of the few die hard fans in this city. Since leaving the parking garage and entering the building, I already had two comments. I have a feeling this jersey is going to be a conversation starter today. The security guard stopped me on the way in and I was ready to yell, "I didn't do it!". He only asked, "Are you REALLY an Astros fan, a true die hard fan?". My response, "Of course!"

I will not give up on the Astros until they are mathematically eliminated. We have pulled off some impossible feats the last two years and this year is no different.

Shut ya trap

I was out walking Zoey (my dog) a few minutes ago. I know, I know... all that shit I just posted about my dog, but damn her cute looks. I somehow still love that pain in the ass. So, I felt bad and took her back out. Now don't get me wrong, I still want that cattle prod. A little shock in the ass never hurt anyone every now and then.

Anyways, I digress. The point of this post is to talk about what occurred while I was walking her. There was this couple outside in a fight. Not a small fight, but an "I'll cut your ass!" type of fight. They were all in each other's face and then he jump in the car and then jump out. Then the car would speed forward in the driveway and then haul ass in reverse. Our driveways go around the units in small circles, so you could drive completely around the house if you wanted. Quite a scene I must say. When the girl saw me, just must have gotten embarrassed because she tried to get him to calm down, but that only pissed him off even more. He then jumped in the car pulled around the house and hauled major ass down the street. She ran down the middle of the street after him, but he was gone. Damn that brought back some memories....

I remember those nasty fights in some of my past relationships. I definitely did my part in those fights, but I really picked girlfriends that were equally crazy. Seriously, like stab you in the eye with a paperclip crazy. It's not fun thinking about those past situations, but it is kind of enjoyable watching them as an outside participant. I have no idea who these people are or why they are fighting. Therefore, I have no emotional attachment to either one of them. I can't pick sides so I'm completely neutral. Of course, my brain is pretty fucked up. So I make up a story in my mind and play it out while they are fighting.

"Damn it Ricardo, I told you it wasn't like that!"
"Fuck you, Scarlett. I know what I saw. I'm getting out of here."
Car pulls forward
"Wait, Ricardo. I don't want you to go. I need to tell you something. I'm having your baby."
Car reverses
"Ricardo, I think that guy can here us fighting. Let's take this inside."
"So now you worry what other people think of us Scarlett? You didn't care what I thought when you screwed my brother!"
"I didn't mean to, it was an accident"
"Accident my ass. I'm out of here. Besides, I ain't your baby's daddy. My brother is."
He drives off down the street
"Ricardo... Nooooo...."
She runs after him, but it's too late. Her whorish ways have ruined yet another relationship.

Okay, it's probably a little overdramatic and completely made up. I also made her a whore. Yeah, I know I still have some issues with some of my past relationships. It's a part of me and I'll have to work through them in time. It's funny how karma comes and kicks your ass at times. The ones I trusted were the whores and the ones that I was skeptical of, were actually wonderful woman that I pushed away emotionally. Knowledge is such a beautiful thing when used appropriately.

Stop it, those are not treats

My most beloved dog that I have inherited from my last relationship has developed this wonderful trick. She likes to eat stray pieces of poop from other animals. She learned this behavior somewhat recently (last year or so) and now she is going at it full force. Lord help me, I'm trying to break her of the habit.

Damn it, she's getting more sneaky about it. We are walking and she casually wanders over to a piece of grass and then BAM, she grabs a piece of shit and snarfs it down. She sees me coming and swallows it whole. As punishment, I immediately take her back home and our outing is over. She knows she is not supposed to be eating the stuff. I can see it in her eyes. If she keeps this up, she have a bladder infection for sure. But I'll be damned if I just let her keep eating the stuff.

When I was first trying to get her to break her barking indoors, I used the shock collar on her. I worked extremely well and she learned real quick the power of electricity. Now if I could only rig the collar to shock on command. Some kind of remote control. Or maybe I should just get one of those cattle prods to shock her every time she eats the shit (literally).

And all you PETA loving fools out there, kiss my brown dog-shocking ass. She is not suffering in any way. She is well feed, gets treats (besides the poop), and has a roof over her head. I have spent more on this dog than on myself at times. And especially you Miss Petsmart employee that tried to lecture me when I purchased the shock collar. If it was that bad, then quit selling the damn thing in your store.

Hippie Dan

I was definitely born in the wrong era. I should have been born in the 50's to really appreciate the 60's and 70's. I wonder how much of my hippiness is due to me finding myself or was it a result of rebellion. My parents are extremely conservative. Like Hispanic Catholic conservative. It's right up there with Italian Catholic conservative. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some bitch session about my parents. I can pay some therapist $150 an hour to bitch about my parents.

No my friends, you get the free Internet version. I was raised conservative and pretty much groomed to be this perfect catholic republican manager. Texas has this strange ability to brainwash people. If you don't believe me, then take this test.

The stars at night, are big and bright. _ _ _ _ Deep in the heart of Texas.

If you performed four claps in those blank spots above, then you've been brainwashed by Texas society. They sneak it in at an early age. How do you erase thirty years of brainwashing? Everyone I know that is not from Texas looks around and is trying to figure out what the clapping is all about.

Anyway, (damn tangent again) I was born and raised here in Texas. I have never lived anywhere else. Oh, I've moved away. But to College Station. Talk about going from the frying pan to the fire of conservatism. I was always drawn to Austin, but did not dare mention this to anyone in my family. "Only hippies live in Austin". Those are the exact words that my father utters on several occasions.

So you know what dad? I'm one of those damn hippies. Watch ya going do about it now?

I was talking to a friend last week and he is pretty conservative. Seriously, like Eric Cartman conservative. We were talking about something and he just blurts out, "Your a damn hippie". This took me by surprise. I thought about it for a few seconds and then I smiled. "Why yes. Yes I am a hippie and proud of it!" He just shook his head and didn't know what else to say.

I love flip flops, make love not war, love folk music, and now I'm trying to let my hair grow out. I should create a checklist for my full hippie transition.

Beatnik glasses - check
Dashiki shirt - check
Birkenstocks - check
Full beard (in all it's patchy glory) - check
No shower in weeks - check

Ok, I can't possibly skip the showers. I'm too much of a germ neat freak to do that last one. But I'll shorten my showers from fifteen minutes to ten minutes to symbolically represent my lack of showers. Watch out right wingers, there is one more name to add to your watch list of potential enemies of the conservative christian way.

Shift Shocked

I wear boxers. I'm a boxer kind of guy. I wear the occasional briefs when I run or on occasion the boxer briefs. I know you're probably wondering why the hell I'm posting my underwear preference on the Internet. Well, It has to do with what happened today.

I wear boxers all the time. I have these soccer shorts that I love wearing because they are the most comfortable shorts ever. So I wear my boxers with these shorts. Sometimes I look like a dork because my boxers hang longer than my shorts. I usually either A) don't care or B) pull my shorts down a little to hide the boxers. Well, the material of the shorts are lightweight and so are some of my boxers. There are times when my boxers shift under my shorts. I'm a guy. I just adjust my boxers through my shorts. I have a problem and I fix it. Think of it as a front wedgie of sorts.

I was walking my dog and felt my boxers out of whack so I started to shift it. MOTHER BITCH... I went to pull on my boxers and I grabbed some of my pubic hair with the boxers. I pulled hard as hell. I wanted to sit on the sidewalk and cry. It hurt like a mother fucker.

The worst part. Now I'm shift shocked. I just deal with any boxer shifting and don't even go near the whole pubic region. Have you ever had your pubes pulled? It's like being kicked in the balls, but reversed. And what do you do to help them not hurt so bad? I can't ice it down. I'm so screwed for the next couple of hours.

Slowing creeping farther away

I'm losing her slowly but surely. My daughter has requested that we move our traditional Father-Daughter dinner from Wednesday next week to Tuesday. I ask her why and she mentions that she wants to go to some event with her friend on Wednesdays. I don't have a problem moving our day, but I'm wondering what will be changing next. It starts out with our dinners and then I'm losing her for the summer next year. I can feel her slowly slipping away.

Friends... they're nothing buy trouble I tell ya! I know she needs them, but she needs her old man as well. She is in the seventh grade this year. God almighty... I remember that grade all to well. We were constantly getting in trouble in the seventh grade. I would sneak over to my girlfriend's house after school. Of course my parents knew nothing about the girlfriend or the sneaking. Could this be what I have to face in the following years? Do they make tracking markers to place on your child? You know, like a tag marker to clip to her ear or something.

I've caught boys checking her out this past summer when she was with me. My intense x-ray vision stare at them sent them a clear message. If one of them dares come up and talk to her in front of me, I'm stabbing his eyes out with a spork. Deep breath Daniel... Count to ten.

Mexican dads are the worst when it comes to our daughters. I thought I was different, but I'm not. Just let them come. I'm going to start carrying around my Taco Bell spork in my back pocket just in case.

Why 'o why Lord???

Note to self: Never ever buy bleeding edge again. Solving some other company's (Dell) problems for them really sucks.

Looks like it's going to be another late night while I try to find a solution for some random ass problem.

Quote of the Day

"I lost my virginity once, it hurt."

This was from a guy. Classic. Wonder what he lost it to?

Book Nerd

I'm a huge book nerd. I know it's probably one of the most uncool things to be, but it's who I am. I have no delusion of my book nerdiness. Fortunately for me, I have a Half Price Bookstore around the block from me. This allows me to get my book fix whenever needed (whenever I get the shakes and start twitching uncontrollably). Today was one of those days. I also have this need to justify my book purchases. Strange, I know. Todays justification... I am working on a Windows 2003 server, so I must have a book in my collection to help with my administration.

I head over there and I just happen to be looking through ALL of the computer books, when I hear this conversation on the other side of the partition (mind you, the books are about seven feet high, so you can't see anyone on the other side).

Girl 1: That books was so good. I couldn't help myself. I just gobbled it all up.
Girl 2: I know, I know...
Girl 1: Seriously, like I finished it two days.
Girl 2: Right... Right.... it's like brain candy!

I had to chuckle at that comment. Brain Candy. I like it! That's going to be my new catch phrase for things I really like. Computers... they're just so good. Ya know, like brain candy! Somehow it just doesn't sound the same. I think I need to say it like a 16 year old girl to have the same effect.

Newest Obsession

I have discovered that when it comes to computers, I don't like not knowing an answer. It bothers me real, real, real bad. Get the shakes kind of bad. I have no problem not knowing the answer to other every day questions, but computers are a different story. I live and breath technology (especially computers), so not having an answer to someone's question is driving me crazy. The logical side of me knows that it's impossible to know everything about computers, but the insane side of me doesn't care. "Screw the logical side... you should know this shit!" That's my inner voice. It's pretty harsh on me at times.

Oh well, I guess I'll be up all night surfing the Internet until I find my answer. The Internet knows all. It's like the Wizard of OZ. I approach slowly and never look directly into the Internet. Those that do fall into a coma and never return.

Labor Day BBQ

What is it about Labor Day that makes me want to barbecue? I fall for this feeling every year. I wonder if it's my heritage causing this feeling in me. You know how we Mexicans are... always barbecuing in the damn park every weekend. Something about sitting there with a beer in your hands while the sweet smelling of smoldering meat is slowing roasting three feet away. I love the smell of barbecued meat.

Anyway, I didn't barbecue anything today. I wanted to, but I forgot my grill and it didn't happen. So I did the next best thing. We went to Pappas and ate BBQ that someone else slaved over. It was made by the Mexicans in the back, so it was almost like I made it. We were probably related in some way (9th cousin from my mother's adopted side or something like that).

Missed it by that much

The Astros were so close today, it's almost unreal. They were so close to winning the game, but it didn't happen. That's ok, because we are finally swinging the bats well again lately. They are scoring and that's all I can ask of them. Hopefully we can take one or two games away from this series with the Mets and stay close in the Wild Card.

The game kept me going emotionally. We were up and then we were down. Then we were tied. Now we lost. I'm emotionally spent. Now it's time to zone out with some good quality Tivo.