Waking up early sucks

Why is it that I feel like such a wimp when I don't stay up past midnight? I have successfully switched my sleep schedule to wake up earlier. I have figured out that if I try to run in the morning, I actually RUN in the morning. The afternoon running just isn't happening anymore (too many last minute distractions).

But by 10:30, I'm already falling asleep. I feel so old. SOOOO OLD.

Long time no see

I was going to post this yesterday, but you know how most Mondays go... You go out drinking and the next thing you know you wake up naked on the floor with a jar of peanut butter in your hand and opera music playing on your stereo (Typical Monday if you will). Okay I made up the last part, mostly.

Anyway, I digress. So how was your week so far? Good, good. Me? Oh not much other than finding out that one of my friends that I grew up with was charged with Terrorism and my day at work was rather busy.

YOU READ THAT RIGHT. CHARGED WITH TERRORISM. Actually, this happened a while back, so he pleaded guilty of terrorism for helping support the Taliban last year. Here in Houston. My friend. Well, FORMER friend. You read that FBI... FORMER FRIEND.

So I guess I should back this train way the fuck back and start from the beginning. I have a friend that sent me this link to an alumni site for my high school. I started to enter my information when it asks these arcane questions. What were your school's colors? What was your school's motto? Who the fuck knows that stuff? Um... I know we had blue, silver, and white on our jackets. And motto... how the hell am I supposed to remember our motto from a few... wait a COUPLE... of years ago.

So I start Googling the fuck out of the Internet to look for this information. What do you know? Someone created a Wikipedia entry for my high school. Of course, the dumb asses didn't put in the school colors or the motto. They did have a section of famous people that went to my high school. Oh yeah, we had our share of famous pro football and basketball players. And the last name on the list. My friend. Next to his name: "famous for aiding the Taliban..." blah blah blah.

I was like "what what"! But not the "in the butt" type of way, but just the "what what" type of way. Sorry, Southpark distraction there. Like I was saying... So I start Googling the fuck out of my friend. Surely, this is some mistake. Someone is messing with him because anyone can put anything on wikipedia.

NOPE.

It was true. It was in the Houston Chronicle. It was on all the local news. It was even in the New York Times. Fucking New York Times. In a terrorism sense, it was at the lowest level. A "class C" misdemeanor in the terrorism world, but it doesn't matter. How the hell do you go from a skater punk to terrorist in less than ten years?

So this is the scariest part (looks around). He was arrested in November of 2006. I've known this guy for a long, long time. I knew after high school he converted to Islam. I almost went to his wedding, but something came up and I couldn't make it. My roommate at the time went to his wedding. He even went to UHD and I bumped into him from time to time. We would catch up on times and then trade phone numbers to keep in touch. This was all several years ago. I had lost touch with him for a while.

Then I bumped into him out of the blue. Grocery shopping. We run into each other in the soda aisle. We catch up and he has the long ass beard growing. No big deal I think. I know he is a Muslim. We trade phone numbers and promise to really keep in touch this time. This was around October of 2006.

What the fuck. You know they had to have been on to him by then. They were probably tracking his communication. If I had called him or he called me, where the fuck would I be now? Some dark dank place being "interrogated"? I can guarantee that the US government doesn't have a "safety word" that I can utter to make them stop with the torture like Miss Leatherwhipsalot has with me.

The funny thing is that I thought about calling him last year and earlier this year. I've been thinking about old friends and I freaking still have his number in my phone. How awkward would that have been if I did call?

Me: "Hey man, it's been a while. What's up?"
Him: "Not much. Not much."
Me: "So, you wanna grab some beers and watch the game?"
Him: "I really can't right now because I'm being gang banged in prison at the moment."

That would have been an awkward moment on the phone. Seriously, he was a fucking terrorist. What the fuck is my life coming to? How the hell do you top that one at the reunion? Oh so you make a quadrillion dollars, but did you hear that so and so was a terrorist?

Step one, pack box

I hate moving. Actually, it's not the moving so much as the packing. Whether it's a full apartment or a little office, I hate packing. I think this is why I am still in my current place. I am too lazy to pack my crap and move. Well, that and the fact that I love my place and the proximity to the bars / restaurants (In no particular order. LYING. In that exact particular order).

Now back to my oh so joy packing adventures.

Would you also like coffee with that request?

I have turned off word verification on request and am now able to be spammed by Gawd and all the world. I feel so dirty now. The things I do for just a little attention. I'm not an attention whore, ya hear me? NOT AN ATTENTION WHORE...

Don't get me wrong. I am a whore, just not an attention whore. What is the male version of whore? Man-whore? Oh wait, that's right, it's a man. I'm a man.

It's only a suggestion

There is a "special" spot in Hell for me. I can tell because of the looks I received yesterday. We were partying, no wait, CELEBRATING a Catholic church bazaar yesterday. Drinking a little, eating a little, basic gluttony if you will. The whole thing revolves around tokens to deceive you on the cost of items. The other part of the "catch" is that you have all these extra tokens that are hard to get rid off.

So we are sitting around enjoying ourselves when I tell my friend, "Why don't you just drop them back in the collection plate tomorrow during mass. Consider it giving 'back' to the church."

You would think that I just picked up a cute kitten, ripped it's head off, and drank the blood in front of all the people there. My friend was laughing, but those around us gave me the dirtiest look. Tough crowd.

I guess it didn't help that I had a beer in each hand while saying this. It's not my fault they only sold the beer in 12 oz glasses and I was too lazy to walk back and forth to the beer booth.

Double Mint Twin

I have heard so many times that I look like someone familiar. I know that there must be several people in Houston that look very similar to me because the chances of only one other person looking like me is slim compared to the amount of times I have been asked that question.

I can say that I have experienced the opposite side of that question. I saw someone that I could have sworn was a mirror image of that person. But not only looks, mannerisms, style of dress, the complete doppelganger of that person. And now I know why they stare at me in the past when they would experience the same thing. It is hard not to stare because you want to know just HOW similar is that stranger to the person you know.

Are we really not as unique as we would like to think in this world? It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or someone is playing a trick on me.

I recently read a book where the main character thought that god was prankster or loved to see us in pain. It's times like these that I tend to agree with that character. Is it because I keep lighting and blowing out that damn candle?

Silence

To say nothing, is still saying something. Sometimes what is NOT spoken is more powerful than what is spoken.

Donde Estan Corazon

A donde fue el pasado que no volverá
adonde fue tu risa que me hacia volar
donde quedo la llave de nuestra ilusión
adonde quedo el brillo de tu corazon
y se va como todo se va
como el agua del rio hacia el mar
y se va como todo se va…

- Enrique Iglesias

Daniel: 1 Mockingbird: 0

I swear if you swoop at me one more time it's on...

There must be a mockingbird nest somewhere around my driveway because this damn bird has been a pest for the last few days now. I have been gracious and ignored the screeching and flybys, but a man can only restrain himself so far. Today was the straw that broke my back.

I was walking my dog and the damn thing drops to the ground and challenges my dog. Being a dog, she was like "Look, breakfast is walking right up to me." She charges at that damn bird and she must have pissed it off even more. So we walk off and down the street and my dog does her normal dog thing. Upon our return to the house, that damn bird starts swooping low and not at my dog anymore. The damn bird was challenging me.

Umm.. excuse me Mr. Mockingbird, but you obviously don't know me or else you wouldn't be swooping on me like that. I start swinging my bag of fresh dog doo at that damn bird and it kept coming back. Aight... you wanna play... let's play.

I then proceed to pick up rocks and start chunking them at this damn bird. I guess the damn thing has never had rocks thrown at it before because it just stood there for the first one and I almost hit him. He caught on real quick but kept following us (screeching and swooping). The alpha male in me was not about to just walk away from a damn Mockingbird challenge, so I start picking up even bigger rocks and chase the damn bird around. Each throw my aim was getting better. He finally got the message and flew off down the street.

My neighbors must think I'm crazy. "Look at that damn Mexican fool running down the street throwing rocks at that bird."

I was never good at multiple choice

I just might be the biggest doofus on the planet.

I just finished dinner (alone. kinda relevant, but that's not the point). The waitress just brought me the check, when the hostess walks towards my area. She says "Hi", I say "Hi". I was watching the game and it looked like she went back there to check on the score. She then turns to me and asks, "Where's your girlfriend or are you alone tonight?" That threw me for a big shock, so I said, "Nope, just me tonight." She then saw me putting my credit card into the tray and said she could help take care of that for me. I paid the bill and left. So here are my choices of how to interpret the event.

A) She was hitting on me and I was a retard and couldn't take the hint.

B) She was playing the female card and was trying to be overly nice to boost up the tip.

C) She thought I was another regular that normally brings his girlfriend (mistaken identity if you will).

My brain at the time choose scenario B. In fact, scenario A didn't even occur to me until I was halfway home. And I just thought of scenario C while typing this out. Why am I so skeptical of everyone and is this why I have a hard time with relationships? If it was scenario A, then I deserve to die miserably alone. No one should ever find my body until they complain of the bad smell coming from my place. They will then find my body half eaten by my 100 cats. Overly dramatic, but it serves the point for my epic failure today.

Dear Diary...

Be careful what you wish for...

How many times have I heard these words told to me by others? Far too many to count. I'm not one to wish for small things in life. I guess I just have these grandiose wishes that sometimes come true. For the most part they don't come through, but sometimes they do. I treat my wishes like the slot machines. I go for broke. I could count my blessings with several small ones, but I want the big ones. Even if they come few and far between.

Yeah, this is one of those cryptic posts again. I can't really explain it. To tell you the truth it probably only really matters to me anyway. But isn't it the whole point of this site? Sometimes I feel like a twelve year old girl writing in a diary. Shit; the way I've been eating and partying lately, I've got 12 year old girl's man boobs.

Best comment of the day

"The Catholic approach is best. Don't ever discuss it, if presented with something like porn on your boyfriend's computer, he's definitely aware. The first boyfriend freaked/lashed out when cornered. Bad idea. Pretend sex doesn't exist, yet somehow manage to procreate fruitfully. Be sure to subtly communicate your lack of comfort with the subject, and your children will be afraid to ever bring it up. Joy."

- Comment about an article written by a woman that discovered porn on her boyfriend's computer

Let it Be

I have typed about three different ideas and have erased them all. I'm not quite sure what I want to say anymore so I'll leave you with this...

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

- The Beatles

Random tidbits of information

- My place is a mess
- I would rather lose my hearing than my sight
- I embarrass my daughter in public by acting goofy at times
- Caffeine is my favorite addiction
- I stole this idea for random tidbits from another site
- Changed my mind, I would rather lose my site than my hearing
- Stay at home far more than I should
- May have or may not have broken the law before
- Drive faster than I probably should
- Have more skeletons than closets
- Like "girly" alcoholic drinks more than "manly" drinks
- Strive to be a better father every day

Looking for nearest doorframe

So let me get this straight...

We have tornados, hurricanes, thunderstorms, flash floods, heat waves, and now earthquakes? What's left in the natural disaster list that we do NOT have in Texas? I think we just need a tsunami to complete the list. Oh no, forgot about volcano eruptions... but that is very very unlikely in Texas.

Watching over my shoulder as I type this

Are we a product of our environment or do we control our outcome in life? I think it's a little of both. I try to be trusting of others, but my natural instinct is to be wary of strangers. It takes A LOT for me to trust someone. I think that was because of how I was raised (my environment). I am consciously trying to change this behavior and trust others until they prove that I can not trust them. It's hard, but I am making progress.

Where is all of this coming from? Not sure. Just had this feeling that I had to get out there to the internets. Consider this my daily emotional sacrifice to the Internet gods (or Flying Spaghetti Monster).

My water, my water, my water is on fire

Two hours later and mah wata is a heatin.

Damn, if I had known that all he had to do was turn the knob on the pipe with a wrench, I wouldn't have even called them. I would have done it myself two hours ago. Shit, he shouldn't have let me see that. Next time, I'm turnin the pipe myself and see what happens. I may blow up or I may get my gas back on. Why do I even pay my gas bills?

Let em turn me off. I know how to turn it back on now.

Should have just jumped in first

So I cleaning the apartment today and went running afterwards. I go to turn on the hot water and nothing. Oh, there's water all right but no hot water. I check the hot water heater and just lovely. The pilot is out. I follow the steps to turn it back on and then realize I have no gas. NO GAS!

I call up Centerpoint and they tell me that there was construction done on the third, but no one was home to turn my gas back on. What the fuck. You perform work on my gas line, but don't warn me in advance and then complain that I was not home to let you turn my gas back on. That is fucked up. Of course no one was home because I didn't know you did any work. Did you leave any notice in my mailbox or on my door. Hell no.

So now your talking to me like it's my fault that I wasn't home and now I have to wait here until someone arrives. Would you happen to have some idea of when that person is arriving? Of course not. I just have to sit here funky and feeling like shit waiting for the wonderful gas man to arrive.

This, my friends, is why I don't own a gun. Postal would be my middle name and all the neighbors would say that I was a quiet neighbor that didn't seem like he would go on a rampage like that to the news crew.

I can't even take a cold shower, because heaven forbid he comes while I'm in the shower and then I'm really screwed.

Flashing Lights

Feeling like Katrina with no fema
Like Martin with no Gina
Like a flight with no visa
First class with the seat back I still see ya
In my past, you on the other side of the glass

- Kanye West

Self Sufficient

Cow With An Awesome Talent - Watch more free videos

Sir, step away from the keyboard

I really need to stay off the Internet at 2:00 in the morning. I was about to make a $60 purchase just for the hell of it. I may still make the purchase, but I think I need some clarity before jumping into random online purchases.

Hell, this is why I can't watch infomercials. I want so many things on the TV right now, it's shameful. I have seen 'em all and they are targeting people like me. Hell, even the impulse buys at the damn grocery store line get me. I fall for that shit EVERY TIME. Hell yeah I could use some crazy glue, travel size anti-bacterial lotion, and beef jerky.