Must be the Minute Maid air affecting his abilites

Stupid Brad Lidge is 41 out of 41 save attempts this year. That is a perfect save situation. PERFECT. What the hell Lidge? Why couldn't you do that with us?

Don't get me wrong, I love that we have Valverde. It's just frustrating that we let go of the losers and they turn into really good players with other teams.

Stupid Lights Out Lidge

I know this is an extra post for the month, but I couldn't resist it. I was furious when I read that he had a perfect save record this season. FORTY FREAKING SAVES.

When safe isn't really safe

So I have this fireproof lock box. It's made to withstand all kinds of heat and still keep my paper documents intact. That way; if my place goes up in flames, I will still have all my important documents safe. Makes sense, right? I put all my important docs in there. Passport, birth certificate, and lords knows what else. ALL IN THERE.

The only problem... I can't find the key to the damn lock box. So... um... yeah. My documents are safe. So safe, even I can't get to them. Therein lies my dilemma. Do I drill the lock and risk ruining my documents or do I continue searching for the key? I've been looking for a few weeks now.

I'm planning a trip to Mexico in December and need to renew my passport. They will need my old passport to renew it and I think it's in the lock box. I don't know how long it will take for the renewal, but I have a feeling I need to start that process real soon.

I don't care if I ruin the box, but I am afraid that I will over drill and start shredding my documents inside. SHIT... only my luck does this type of shit. I just don't know what to do.

Three down, nothing left to do.

Fity ain't got nothing on me

Did you know that chandeliers make great shirt hanger uppers?

I'm so ghetto sometimes, it cracks me up. You can take the boy out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of this gangster. "I got four dollas yo!"

I have a friend that swears she lives in the ghetto. In the middle of Montrose. Ghetto my ass. I told her that I would take her to my old neighborhood and show her ghetto. I asked if she had a bullet proof vest. I think she thought I was joking.

In the ghetto...

Two down, one to go.

Stupid OCD

My OCD in me wants to have 30 posts this month to match the 30 days of September. Why, I'm not sure. I do know that it is strong in me so I have to post three more times to meet this goal.

Fucking OCD. I swear I have the weirdest OCD at times. I hope it's not hereditary.

One down, two to go.

Must resist urge to leave

I've been so busy the past few weeks that I feel kind of weird to be home and doing nothing. I want to go out and do something just to be out of the house, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of resting at home.

It's that stir crazy thing again. Weird. A few months ago you couldn't get me out of the house and now I don't like staying home. Isn't it funny how we can just flip like that? Or is it just me?

The other strange thing is my need to clean my place from top to bottom. I think it's because I have crap all over the place. They still haven't fixed my two bedrooms so I have crap literally everywhere. I miss my bedroom.

I have a feeling that once I can move back into my bedroom, my need to clean will disappear.

Why do you mock me calendar gods?

You know, sometimes I really hate computers. When they work, they are the best thing since sliced bread. But when they don't work, they suck ass. Was life really that bad before sliced bread? Seriously, did it kill you to tear chunks of bread and slap some meat on it? Why is it so good because it is sliced?

Sorry bout that. Tangents get the best of me every time. Anyway, I depend on my phone and calendar like water in the desert. They are my lifeline. When I can't depend on them, it makes me very sad. Right now I can't depend on my calendar. Now I'm a paranoid fuck. I have four devices that I access my calendar on and they all have different calendar events on them. Which one do I trust? If I wipe out three of them, how can I be sure that I have all events in the one final computer?

FUUUCCCCKKKKK!

So the moral of the story is... fuck if I know. Don't trust computers... Always keep everything on paper.... Just say no to drugs.

The only thing I'm missing is the blue eyes

I can eat 50 eggs in one hour.

Well, okay, maybe not fifty.

I want to pay homage to one of the greatest actors this past century. So what do I do?
Here is my plan.

Eat five eggs in one hour - Cool Hand Luke
Gamble and win a pool game - The Hustler
Get drunk one night - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Convince a stranger that I'm a foot model - The Sting
Eat ranch dressing every day this week - Newman's Own Dressing

I know the list is dorky as hell, but that represents me even more. Hell, I'm thinking I can knock four of those out in one night.

Gotta shake it off

How is it possible to have power but still feel stir crazy? I guess it will still take a few weeks for life to get back to normal. Whatever "normal" may be. I feel myself getting into a funk lately. I need to shake this feeling in a bad way. Maybe I need a mini-vacation to take my mind of things for a while.

Any day now

Living out of my living room sucks ass.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

What's small, blue, and not moving?

Does having a Smurf on your desk make you gay?
It feels a little gay.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, if you're into that type of thing.

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

I have become a believer that the energy you display to the world will determine if you are going to have a good day or a bad day. If all I focus on is negative energy, then I will attract negative energy back. Makes sense, right?

WRONG!

I have tried really, really hard to exert nothing but good energy lately and I still have shit sent back in my direction. SHIT in my direction. What else can I do, but wipe myself off and continue on my journey.

Why do people have this need to pick sides? Seriously, why MUST a side be chosen? Can't we just be neutral in life sometimes and give others the benefit of the doubt? I know it's harder, but can't we just try that option?

I'm sure my rambling doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but it is helping me vent (for whatever that is worth). I once knew someone that told me I was always creating negative scenarios in my head during that relationship and one day they would come true because I kept focusing on them so much. Turned out she was right. But was she right because I focused so much on the negative that it created a self fulfilling prophecy or was that situation going to occur no matter what I thought. Chicken meet egg, egg meet chicken.

I just don't know. What I do know is that I have to keep trying to live my life and believe that karma or destiny will take care of the rest. I was in this group once that had this saying, "Let go and let God". Basically, just let go of trying to control the situation and let God take care of it. Funny, I still capitalize God. My lack of faith sometimes disturbs me.

I was talking to a friend recently and she mentioned that she attends mega church (Joel Olsteen church formally known as the Compaq Center formally known as The Summit). I was shocked because she was not religious when she was younger (I've known her for over twenty years). And she explained that she felt like she was missing something from her life. She needed something else to give her strength. We are basically reversed. I grew up with a strong religious upbringing and felt that it gave me nothing in life as I got older. She grew up with no religious upbringing and felt religion would give her strength when she got older. To be honest, discussing it with her made me even more confused.

Is it just me? Am I not understanding religion and just not getting something out of it? Or maybe I am just evil and draw people away from religion? I have been told that I am a bad influence by WAY TOO MANY people.

Why am I putting all of this out there on the Internet? This makes no sense. Will it stop me? Nope. I'm an idiot like that at times.

Will it bite me in the ass later?

You smell that? Yep, that's a nice smoky charcoal smell.

Too little too late

Out of all the relationships I have experienced in my life, it took 20 years to finally start understanding them.

I want to see frost on the unit

Guess who just came back into the 20th century? That's right... I have power as of 30 minutes ago. Ten days without power really, really sucked. I now have power, Internet, AND cable. I'm so giddy, I don't know what to do with myself.

First thing I did was jack the thermostat down to 65. Damn skippy... SIXTY FIVE! I want to see my breath frost up with every time I exhale. The last few nights were pure hot sticky hell. I didn't get a lick of sleep last night.

Okay, enough bitching. Time to start enjoying some AC and Internet.

Giggling like a little school girl

Best quote of the day.

"I just ate a Luby's Lu Ann Platter. Texas cooking at it's finest."

Officially becoming a Gypsy

My first since the hurricane hit. The one posted last Saturday was actually a "pre-post" that was created last week. So... what has the past week been like.

HELL

Plain and simple. Well, maybe not THAT bad. It has it's ups and downs. I still have no power. Of course, half of Houston does not have power. I live close to Downtown, so I don't expect to get power for at least another week (If I'm lucky). I have adapted to life without power. The only thing that sucks is finding ways to charge my cell phone and laptop. My broadband card sucks big fat floppy donkey dick right now. It hasn't worked right yet since the storm. I sit next to someone with a Verizon card and they are happily surfing the Internet, while my freaking AT&T card is shit for service. Oh I have all the bars available, but the Internet doesn't work right. It's slow as molasses. That's a funny saying... slow as molasses.

So I planed on having updates following the storm, but that went out the window. I'm debating whether I should post date some of the posts because I have actually been journaling thoughts from time to time. I may do that for historical reference. I tried to take pictures of some of the damage, but it was just depressing me too much. Such devastation from this storm is unreal. Who would have thought that a city full of trees would have so many power issues? Oh sarcasm, you are my only friend in this world.

I have found myself out and about most of the day just to keep from going crazy. Work is busy, so that is a plus because it helps keep my mind busy. I was hoping that my work would have power so that I could enjoy it through the day and then only have to deal with the "no power" at night. NOPE. Work has no power either and it looks like it might be a while before the building gets power.

So I have been driving the streets since the Saturday after the storm hit. It was kind of nice the first two days. Very few cars were on the road and gas was hard to find. People were courteous and respectful on the road. Now... It's like Mad Max on the road. People are getting pissy and driving crazy. Welcome to Post Apocalyptic Houston.

So, enough ranting for now. I'll post again when I find Internet.

Did you ever know that your my hero?

What do I give myself for my four year anniversary?

EXACTLY four years ago, I posted my first entry into this site. I can't believe it's been four years already. The entry was rather simple, yet profound. It captured the exact emotion I was feeling during that part of my life. I was so confused and had no idea who I was as a person.

I should have looked at that entry as some type of foreshadowing. Of course, that meant that I would have actually had to pay attention to myself. THAT was not happening during that point in my life. I was too focused on my relationship and did not pay attention to what I needed in my life.

Now, I am much more balanced. Perfect? Not even close... I am not looking to be perfect. I just want to be happy with myself and find someone who will accept me for me. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has flaws and imperfections. We all have skeletons in our closets. Some of us just have bigger closets than others. Me, I have a very tiny closet. But you know I'm Mexican, so I have this amazing ability to cram a whole fuck load of skeletons into that small amount of space.

So what is the hidden meaning to this post? I'll let you in on a secret. THERE IS NO HIDDEN MEANING. You know, sometimes a book is just a book. No hidden message, no moral of the story, no symbolism... just words on a piece of paper.

So back to my question. What do I give myself for my four year anniversary? Knowledge.

Knowledge to know that I have done the best I can for myself the past four years. There were good times and LOTS of bad times, but I grew along the way. I kept moving forward a little at a time. I may have slid back a whole lot at times, but I continued to point in the right direction and never gave up. I am the wind beneath my wings (sing it in a Bette Midler voice and it sounds so much better).

Oh yeah, now I'm ready

Still waiting for the storm to hit. So far, nothing. Not even a nice breeze in my area. This storm is making me look bad because I keep telling everyone that the bands of rain and wind should have arrived this morning. Yet, they haven't. The damn storm keeps getting pushed later and later.

Let's do this and get it over with. I'm so sick of hearing about this damn hurricane on the news. ALL DAY LONG.

You know; if something tragic were to happen to me, this would be my last post. How pathetic of a last post is this??? I'm such a grim person sometimes, but my ass is knocking on wood as I type this. "Just in case".

You know what my real problem is? I'm trying to time my dog's last walk to ensure the timing works out. I want the LAST possible moment of calmness to walk her before the wind and rain roll in. It is going to royally suck when I have to walk her tomorrow morning during the hurricane. ROYALLY SUCK!

Hmm... what else can I say about this hurricane? I decided to hit the store this morning and upgrade my hurricane supplies. I was originally set with the following items.

4 packets of tuna
12 bottles of water
Flashlight with working batteries
Two candles
Fully charged iPod
Fully charged laptop
Fully charged cell phone

I figured that was enough to keep me alive for two or three days. Since the storm didn't hit this morning, I went and found an open CVS. So now, I have added the following.

3 lunchables
1 half gallon of milk
1 box of Honey Nut Cheerios
4 cans of energy drink
1 4-pack of toilet paper

Now, I'm set. To tell you the truth, the only thing I really needed from the last purchase was the toilet paper. I was down to one roll left and realized it last night. I was like, "Fuck me, what the hell do I use if I run out of TP during the storm." I was eyeing the paper towels, rags, and printer paper. They all seemed to rough or too nasty to place on my ass. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about it now. Reminds me of the joke.

A bear and rabbit were taking a shit in the middle of the woods when the bear turns to the rabbit.
"You ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur", asks the bear.
"Nope", says the rabbit.
So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

Too bad, I don't have any rabbits around. I do have my dog, but I KNOW for a fact that shit can stick to her fur.

I guess I've rambled long enough. I've been kinda cleaning today and I guess I should take advantage of the calmness and continue cleaning while I have electricity. See you on the flip side.

Ike knows how to pack a punch

During Hurricane Rita, the theme was Margaritas for Rita.

Ike? Ike? What the hell do you do with Ike? So I had to default to the basics... Hurricanes during Hurricane Ike.

My other thought was "Black and Blue"s for Ike. You know... Ike and Tina. That just sounded too mean.

What is in a Black and Blue you ask?
1 part Blue Curacao
1 part Blavod vodka
Layer in order

That just sounds more fun than Hurricanes, but I also couldn't find the Blavod vodka. Hurricanes it is then.

Nine Eleven

So today is the seventh anniversary of 9/11 and I can't even give this day the respect it deserves.

We are in preparations for Ike and it seems to love Houston. Every time it shifts away, it somehow sneaks back toward us. This is predicted to be a Cat 3 or Cat 4 hurricane by the time it makes landfall. The last Cat 3 hurricane was in 1983 (Alicia) and I remember sitting in the house with no power for three days. I was just a kid so it was all so exciting.

Now that I'm an adult, I realize this is crap. I don't want hurricane excitement. I just want to sit at home, open a bottle of wine, and watch a movie. Damn I'm getting old...

Ironic suffering

You know what Hell feels like? It's not the fiery inferno religious leaders would have you believe. No...

Hell is sitting in a 66 degree office all day long and shivering your ass off. That, my friend, is pure hell.

Like taking money from a baby

So I was going through a pile of old mail when I came across this suspicious looking envelope. It was pretty bland except for my information. Hmm....

What's better than getting a free box of cereal in your package delivery? Getting an unexpected check just for the hell of it. Hell yeah... It would appear that Best Buy had over charged me on my cell phone tax for a phone I bought three years ago.

THREE YEARS AGO!

Yeah bitches, guess who's $4.12 richer. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Twenty and counting

I'm not sure what is in the air, but my allergies are killing me. I should be sleeping peacefully right now, but instead I'm sneezing my head off. Almost quite literally.

I'm sure my neighbors are loving me right now.

Queue Rocky theme music in 3...2...1...

The good thing about being sick is the rapid weight loss. I ate nothing for 48 hours and lost 7 pounds. Of course being overweight did not help, because you can not even tell if I lost ten pounds.

The other "good" side effect is the shrunken stomach. I eat much less now and get full easier. I will try to keep this trend going as long as possible. The less eating with my daily running should help me lose some serious weight (in theory).

I have a 16 year reunion (aw... sweet sixteen) next month. I have never been to any of the past reunions. I have not seen most of these people in sixteen years. I want to look as close to my eighteen year old self as possible. Then again, reality pops me in the eye from time to time. I weighed only 145 and wore a size 32 pant when I was eighteen.

Good Lord... the only 32 I've seen lately is my 32 ounce Big Gulp Slurpees. Shit, who am I kidding... I always go for the 64 ounce Slurpees.

The problem with having female bartenders

Jealous = (adjective) feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.


Let me start by saying that when I had control of the remote, we were watching football. The appropriate TV show to be watching at a bar.

Somehow, I was out voted by the females and the TV "magically" turned to the MTV music awards. Seriously? At a bar... are we really watching MTV music awards at a bar?

Women are worse than men at judging other women. MUCH MUCH WORSE. They were tearing up the women left and right.

Why are we watching this again? There is football on the TV. What the Fuck?

Moment of Truth

Patience is my weakest virtue.

Pride is my strongest vice.

Quote of the Day

Why do we love the ones that hurt us most?

Just Stop it Already

Whomever is placing this curse on me, please stop now. I have had enough already. Seriously, you have made your point, so you can really, really stop now.

I have had the worst 24 hours of my life now and it does not appear to be getting better. I thought I had emptied all my liquids in my body, but apparently I am full of more liquid. Hmm, who would of thunk it with our bodies composed of so much water.

Well, that's not entirely true. I have had a couple of things worse than this, but this is up there on the pain scale. My throat burns, my ass burns, and I would really like to just keep a little water down.

I wish this was from drinking and partying too much, but it was not. I didn't even get any enjoyment before all of this kicking in. I will definitely stay away from any Hawaiian food places in the near future.

The worst part was that I couldn't even be productive today. Since I stayed home anyway, I figured maybe I could clean up a little after I rested. NOPE! I have eaten anything in the last 24 hours, so I have no energy. I just lay around and sleep. I feel like such a bum.

Why do I think it's a curse as opposed to an individual event? Because things have not been lining up for me the past week or so. I feel "out of sync" or like time has shifted just slightly. I don't know how else to explain it.

Sleep, why do you tease me so?

I have been so tired the past few weeks. I start to fall asleep around 10:00PM and go to bed. The bad part is that I seem to wake up throughout the night. Every 30 minutes throughout the night. I am dreaming a whole lot more now than I used to dream. I'm not sure what that means.

So even though I go to bed earlier, I am more exhausted when I wake up. I have been exercising in the morning and reducing my caffeine intake throughout the day. Nothing seems to help.

I'm coming to my wits end. To tell you the truth, I didn't know wits had an end and how exactly can you tell where it ends? And are wits singular or plural? Should it be "wit's end" or "wits end"?

It's the little things that get to me...

Joke of the Day

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

Corona and Lime

Let me tell you about a girl I know.
She like hip hop and rock and roll.
She walk slow down the avenue.
I ain't met her, but I get her when I do.
Let me tell you about a girl I love.
She stay at home cause she hate the club.
Baby butt, pretty little features.
I ain't met her but I'll get her when I see her.

- Shwayze