Did he just say that?

What is the difference between a living person or a dead person? The living have the ability to feel emotions. I've seen enough zombie movies to know that the dead still have all motor functions and can somewhat think for themselves (besides their particular addiction to brains). Where is this all heading?

Well, I was thinking about my personality this morning. People that have met me in person can verify that I am out there sometimes. I have this ability to cross "the line" all the time. It's almost as if I push the line as much as possible to get a reaction out of people. Hell, I do it on this site all the time. There have been a few comments regarding some my previous posts, but I imagine that I probably offend more people than I know. There are constant visitors to this site, that come once and then leave (kinda makes me feel cheap and used. they didn't even wait for me to come). Off topic there, sorry about exposing my childhood repressed issues there. Anyhoo, I do this in real life all the time (cross the line that is). I have had a few people call me out on this. Just recently, someone told me that I just say those things sometimes to get a reaction. I sure do.

You see, I believe that we can not feel life without feeling shocked sometimes. It's like jumpstarting your heart. The same thing goes for being scared. It gets the heart pumping, the adrenaline rushing, and the blood flowing. When I say crazy or weird things, the same thing happens with your thoughts or emotions. There may be an initial shock of what I just said, or you could have the thoughts that I'm an idiot, or perhaps you feel the same way. Regardless, your thinking and feeling. This is what excites me. The thought of another person around me thinking and feeling emotions.

You see, I went through a period of my life recently where I did not think or feel emotions for myself. I was rather dead inside. I was a living zombie. This is the worst way to live life. You don't have any thoughts for yourself. You don't feel happy, mad, nor sad. Your just "there". I thought is was fine. I thought my life was "ok". Anytime, you feel as if your life is "ok", then there is something deeply wrong with your life. I know I'm being judgmental here, but I strongly feel this way.

Since then, I have learned to listen to the crazy voice inside my head. I let the thoughts come out in words (whether on the screen or outloud). I used to repress those thoughts and only let them slip out occasionally. No more. I'm tired of trying to make sure everyone likes me. Screw you if you don't like me. Hell, I'm glad you don't like me for my thoughts rather than not liking me for my color, race, or religion (or lack thereof).

It's almost as if life was black and white before. Then I experienced a world of color. Hell, now I'm seeing the world in a crazy psychedelic LSD tripping 3-D. I'm not going back to that black and white world. Just existing is not good enough for me. I want to leave a mark on this world. What mark, I'm still not sure yet. But it will be big and long lasting. Shit, now I'm sounding like some kind of crazy serial killer or cult leader. Forget that last part and just drink your Kool-Aid.

Worn out for sure

I have been working my butt off at work. What's up with the whole exchanging labor for pay thing anyway? I need to find a job that allows me to sit on my ass and not do a damn thing.

Sometimes I wish I were stupid. Then I could sell crack on the streets or rob a bank for some cold cash. Unfortunately, I don't like dying (would eventually get shot slinging rock) and I value my virgin bottom (getting caught robbing banks and end up in state prison).

So, my intelligence is my downfall. I'm stuck working for "da man" because I'm somewhat intelligent.

Screw this... now where'd I put those crack rocks...

Stalked by a ghost

Have you ever had the feeling that someone was watching over your shoulder, but when you turn around no one is there? I think I'm being stalked by a ghost. I know it sounds crazy to those who do not believe, but it's true.

I am constantly haunted by this ghost and no exorcism could rid this horrible creature from me. Everywhere I turn, I feel as if this constant presence is mocking me. There is this constant nag and it is really starting to bother me. I thought the empty feeling I was feeling before was caused by my lack of something in my life. Now I have realized that it is not something I am lacking, rather something extra in my life. This unwanted presence is what has been bothering me.

Isn't this the first step of insanity? When people believe they are seeing things that are not there. Or perhaps, they are not insane. The invisible things are really there, but we are not aware of them. We can go through life ignoring everything else and just go through "the motions". How many times do we actually stop and think about our lives and what is occurring around us? I don't do it enough that's for sure.

I don't know how to get rid of this ghost. I hate the fact that I can not trust my intuition now. Is there something really there or is it just my imagination? Sometimes, I feel as if my life really is the Matrix and I took the blue pill instead.

Newest addiction

Hi, my name is daniel, and I'm addicted to iTunes. My former addiction was DVD movies, then I went more hardcore and became addicted to Tivo. Now, I'm addicted all out. I'm about the iTunes baby...

I have been using iTunes for about eight months now, but I have come to the realization today that 99 cents adds up when you combine 108 songs for only a dollar each. I have $108 dollars worth of music in my iTunes shopping cart. Who listens to that much music? I do, at least I think I do.

This so sucks. It's really, really bad. Damn. I have things like "Tupelo Honey" by Dusty Springfield in my cart. Or how about "Nobody Knows" by The Tony Rich Project. Or even "The Creature" by Elf Power.

Good lord. I just can't help myself. Anyone ever seen "You've got mail". When her boyfriend says that exact same line. That's how I feel. All giddy when I'm hopped up on iTunes. The rush of the download. The excitement of the song softly playing in my ears. And then the burn out when I see the charge hit my bank account.

Prude

I must be an old man trapped in a relatively young man's body. I wonder if I'm a prude sometimes. All I have to say is this...

If you are in a restroom and you are using a urinal next to me, please execuse yourself after releasing some loud-ass nasty fart right next to me. Honestly, is that too much to ask? I understand we are in the restroom. Okay, I'm fine with that. And there is probably no more appropriate place in the building to release some trapped up gas. But seriously, I'm right next to you. Don't act like you didn't do it. Hell, there are only two of us standing right there. If I didn't do it, then I probably have a damn good idea who did.

Thank you Internet world for letting me rant...

Girl Sandwich

Is there such a thing as a "girl sandwich"? I was out eating dinner last night (with someone who shall be nameless) and we went to Cafe Express. They have a cool sandwich, soup, and salad combo. We both get the same combo, but we each order different soups and sandwiches.

Combo1: Turkey sandwich, potato soup, spring salad, and soft drink
Combo2: Chicken salad sandwich, chicken noodle soup, spring salad, and iced tea

Which combo is the boy combo and which one is the girl combo? Is there such a thing? I ordered combo #2. She made fun of me because her meal was more "masculine" than my meal. She may as well have called me her "bitch".

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very secure in my manhood, so this did not bother me so much. I don't care what people think of my food selections. Damn skippy! I would have ordered an egg salad sandwich if they had that with a nice side of fruit.

Society has such a double standard when it comes to the sexes. It's cool for women to wear men's boxers (hell, they make womens underwear that look like boxers now), but it's not cool for men to wear women's underwear. It's cool when women sit like guys. But when guys sit with their legs crossed, it's feminine. Oh, and the big one. It's cool for women to sleep with each other, but guy on guy action is not cool. Okay, maybe that last one is a little biased on my views.

So if my sandwich and soup selection makes me a girly, I don't give a damn. You hear that society... I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

This brings up a second point that was discussed last night. She said after our conversation, "Your going to post about this conversation tomorrow, aren't you?" DAMN STRAIGHT.

This is the price people pay to have conversations with me. Everything is fair game. Okay, I'm totally lying here. I do keep a whole lot of stuff private and would never share some things with the world. But everything else is fair game. So how do I distinguish what is "fair game" and what is "private"? Well, there is no formula. Basically, it's common sense. Would I tell this piece of information to a stranger or another person? If not, then I probably won't post it on this site.

You know what I prefer?

West coast response to Chronic(What!)cles of Narnia!

Macchiato!

I really have to work on my creative side...

Can't be true

According to this test, I'm not a genius. How can this be???

Take the test if you dare!

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm still super duper smart. I'm just not genius material.

Ummm... Yeah

Sangria - (Spanish) act of bleeding
Sangre - (Spanish) blood

Sorry about that post last night. Not much else to say but, sorry.

(Insert awkward silence here)

I really didn't feel like I was influenced by the alcohol. But looking at the post, I would think it influenced me more than I realized. Umm... I guess that's all.

Posting to the Buzz

I have always seen other people posting to their blog when they've been drinking. So, I've decided to try the same thing. This line is taking an awful long time to write because I have to keep backspacing in every word because I can't type for nothing right now. It's kind of pathetic really because I've just had a few beers, but I've got a pretty good buzz going.

Next on the menu... Sangria. Oh yeah. I went out today and bought the stuff to make Sangria. Funny... sangria means blood in spanish. I'm going to drink blood. Good stuff for sure.

Anyway, see you tomorrow and may the force be with you.

Puppies and Babies

I have quickly learned how very similar puppies are to babies. See, kittens are pretty easy to potty train and they basically stay inside the house most of the time. Puppies, on the other hand, are similar to babies. There is a feeding time, walking time, and play time. It is physically exhausting. I haven't had to watch any babies (nor puppies) in a long, long time. I don't see how the parents do it. I must be getting old because I am flat out tired now.

Fortunately, Mr. Pugsley, your mother is coming back today. Your alive and in one piece so I must give myself a one-handed high five. Yeah, I rock...

Sorry about that dorky moment there. It must be the lack of alcohol in my system. It's throwing my body out of whack. I haven't had a drink all week long and lord knows I deserved one several times this week.

I'll end this rant with a conversation I had on the phone with my dad this morning.

Me: "I'm pretty cranky because I was up throughout the night with the puppy."
Dad: "Yeah, a puppy is a handful."
Me: "I know, it's the waking up in the middle of the night that's killing me."
Dad: "Well, you wanted kids, didn't you?"
Me: "WHAT..." (Really, I wanted to say "What the Fuck?")
Me: "I never said I wanted kids. How did you get that out of me watching a puppy?"
Dad: Silence...
Dad: "So, when are you dropping off Ashley?"

Notice the silence and then the change of subject? I think it was a Freudian slip. I think he and my mother want me to have more children. They use to pressure me about more grandkids after my divorce. So I would tell them that I would go impregnate as many woman as possible just to give them some grandbabies. They didn't seem to appreciate my smart ass remark as much as I did.

Dang Gummit

I'm addicted to that stupid test. I was thinking about it all day and have 30 of the 33 answered so far. I refuse to cheat, but I want to answer all 33. My co-worker got up to 31 and then he found the answers. I don't want to know.

I'm giving myself until Monday morning to find the last three (#28, #31, #33). If I can't figure it out by Monday morning, I'm looking at the answers. My mind hasn't felt this stimulated in a long time. These are too cool.

Naturally

Yep, I always knew I was a genius.

Mensa Test

So far, I've found 26 of the 33, but the perfectionist in me won't stop trying. I want to solve all of them dammit.

Hong Kong

My daughter and I having our weekly Wednesday dinner and had some spare time on our hands so we wandered around Target to waste some time. The have this new section called "Global Bazaar" and basically it's a bunch of home decor from various areas (Africa, Asia, India). They have some really cool stuff, but they are way overpriced. There is no way on earth I am paying fity (fifty for the non-ghetto) dollars for a basic clock. I don't care if it's from India. All the more reason it should be like ten dollars. You know they have some poor sweat shop kids making these clocks for like 2 tic tacs or if they are lucky maybe 2 chicklets.

Anyway, I digress. We found this mini statue that I really liked and wanted for my living room. This is the conversation that occurred between me and my daughter.

Me: "I like it. It would match the candle holder that's on the speaker."
Daughter: "It would but it's kind of scary."
M: "How is it scary?"
D: "It looks like those scary women from Hong Kong."
M: "What scary women from Hong Kong?" I was thinking very hard about this. Did she see some documentary at my house? I know she doesn't watch that kind of stuff when she is with her mother. What are they showing them at school?
D: "You know the ones from Hong Kong." Then she rolls her eyes to the back of her head and starts shaking her body.
M: Either she's possessed or she is watching some really scary crap. She was doing this for a good 30 seconds when it hit me.
M: "Oh, you mean KING KONG, not HONG KONG."

We were laughing for a good fifteen minutes. Then it hit me. What kind of crap am I letting my daughter watch. Aahhh, the joys of scaring your child. Priceless...

Wordlexic

You know, I'm terrible at spelling. You can just look at some of my prior posts and make that observation. I can accept that fact. Some people are good at spelling, I'm good at math and science. The one thing that does drive me crazy is when I mix up words in my head. I know which words to use, but they come out differently when I type them.

For example; every time I want to use the word "now", I end up typing the word "know". I think I'll call this wordlexia. Similar to dyslexia only it's when you mix up words instead of letters in the word. So this would make me wordlexic.

And punctuation.... I'm horrible at punctuation. Did I even use that semi-colon correctly in the sentence above? I know (see I wanted to type now for some reason) I could look up the punctuation thing, but I think it would mess up my train of thought.

I'm a very simple minded guy, easily distrac...

Tired

You know its a bad day when your tired and the coffee doesn't even work anymore. Did I die last night and now I'm living in hell? I'm soooo tired. The crawl space under my desk is looking mighty comfortable right now.

I am puppy watching again this week and last night the puppy decided it would be fun to defy me. I was up all night taking the puppy out for walks and then the constant nudging. Lord, the constant nudging. I guess he misses his mommy and know I'm his honorary mother. It was cute when he would lay on my lap and fall asleep. But then he woke up and I was ready for bed. He would nudge at my arms when I was trying to sleep. I'd take him outside, and he would just sit there looking around. We'd go back inside and the nudging would start again. I put him on the ground and then he'd paw at the bed. And then the "accidents", oh lord the accidents. The horrors...

Why I'm bitching to the world about this, I don't know. I just want some sleep.

Big Red Button

Do not push the big red button.

Office Productivity

I must be very productive today.
Another cool link. This is incredible. I tested it with Hava Nagila and it found it.
Search song by tapping

Office Stress Reliever

This is too funny.
Just click it. Click it good.

I would be dangerous with a pinata gun.

How do you know she's a witch?

I have this thought from time to time. I wonder how other people view me after reading my site? Not that I would be offended with other people having bad thoughts of me, but I wonder how I come across to total strangers. I think we see ourselves completely different than the rest of the world sometimes. Similar to the situation regarding tone deaf people and American Idol. They truly think they can sing and that the judges are just "jealous" or mean. Can't they hear their own voices? So when I think of my personality, I wonder if it differs from what others think of my personality.

I was not a believer in zodiac signs in the past. The key word there being WAS. I don't know now. I read a detailed description of the characteristics of my sign (Aquarius) and I was blown away. The description was about 90% correct. Actually it was dead on, but I am still in denial. Anyway, it was pretty accurate and it has changed my view of zodiac signs. I know, I know... there is a sense of heresy in that thought.

The real trouble I'm having with this thought concerns the details of the other signs. If my sign was pretty accurate, then does that mean the descriptions of the other signs are valid as well? I must form some kind of scientific experiment to test this theory (and more scientific than my cold test). Do I need to verify every one's zodiac sign before I socialize with them? What if we are conflicting signs? Perhaps, this is the cause of tension between people at work. Or my past failed relationships were caused by conflicting zodiac signs. The possibilities are endless...

My other theory is that I am finding a way to fit my personality into the description. Perhaps I am in desperate need to find answers to the unsolved questions in my life. Isn't this how people end up joining cults? They are looking for answers and someone convinces them that their "solution" is the one true answer. Hell, this is the basis for Scientology.

While I'm bouncing from one thought to another, I don't remember if I ever mentioned my brief touch with Scientology. I'm too lazy to check my previous posts. If I've mentioned this before, then just ignore me.

I was at an outdoor mall in San Diego around this time last year. As I was walking up to the mall, there were a few tables set up outside of the mall. I had heard about Scientology in the past, but never put much thought into the religion. Well, they had the E-meters set up on the tables and asked if I wanted to improve my life. I knew this had to be a scam, but I was interested in listening to their pitch. I did the whole E-meter thing and the guy was convinced that I had issues with my father and was experiencing great stress in my life. I like how they ask you these serious questions, turn the knobs a little, then ask you more questions. It was a huge load of crap. I was enjoying the debate with him regarding my stress. I guess he figured I was not going to be an instant convert and switched to salesman mode. He tried pushing their books and literature on me. Well playing mind games with me is one thing, but I will not stand for the pushy salesperson routine. I got up and started to leave, when you switched to the "I'm sorry" routine. They are pretty good, I'll give them that. He wanted to get my personal information to send a free gift. Yeah right. I walked away and never looked back.

The one last detail I didn't mention was that I was with an ex-girlfriend at the time. While I was messing with their E-meter machine, she was at another E-meter table. After I started walking away she caught up to me. Low and behold she had their book in her hand. I couldn't believe she actually paid money for their propaganda. And it gets worse. She actually gave them her personal information. To this day, she is still getting their literature for meetings in Houston.

The reason I mentioned this last detail is to try and understand why people fall for this crap. I think she was desperately looking for some guidance in her life at that time and thought the E-meter / book might help. She later realized that it was a load of crap and threw away the book. Obviously, she is not the only person that fell for their scam. There are several well known (hopefully smart) people that believe in Scientology. Are they missing something in their lives to have them join this so called religion?

Back to my last thought (are you actually still reading this post?). Perhaps I am just searching for answers. I have experienced this phase of life several times in the past. I tried going back to religion (Catholic and others), but they just didn't do IT for me. I still felt something drastic was missing from my life. It kind of feels that way now, but I don't know what could be missing. I feel happy in my personal life. I'm sorta happy in my professional life. It could improve, but for the most part it is nice. So what is missing? I don't know, but I'm sure my life will sort itself out eventually. It always does.

I guess this is one of those "mind wandering everywhere" days. Hell, why did I even quote "mind wandering everywhere" in the last sentence? Someone please tell me I'm not the only weird person on this planet.

Many a day, my life resembles a Monty Python movie.

Maybe I was really supposed to be British and my life was crossed up somewhere. That would be funny if there was some guy in England that enjoys Mexican soap operas and thinks that perhaps he should have been born a Mexican American.

Gone to Heaven

I've died and gone to heaven. I want one of these. I could brew the perfect cup of coffee everyday. It's like slicing up heaven and taking a little piece with you each day. (Smile)

Leaving on a Jet Plane

So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again -
Oh Babe, I hate to go.

- Chantal Kreviazuk

Congrats

Congratulations "E" for successfully completing the Houston Half-Marathon today.

I am truly amazed at the level of dedication you have toward running. You have definitely inspired me to bump up my attempt at a marathon. Now instead of waiting a whole year to run my first marathon, I'm shooting for the San Diego 2006 Marathon in June.

This will give me six months to prepare for the 26.2 miles. I'm totally pysched and can't wait to start training. In order to ensure that I won't back out (considering it's all the way across the country), I'm going to register now. That way, the NON-REFUNDABLE $70 will encourage me to be ready for the race.

See ya'll in sunny San Diego in June!

A man, a horse, and another man

I broke down and saw the gay cowboy movie last night (AKA Brokeback Mountain). Haha... broke down... Brokeback... never mind. I was trying to be as open minded as possible before going to see the movie. I pride myself on my open mindedness (is that even a word?). I knew there was going to by some guy on guy action somewhere in the movie. I expected this and was ready to be an adult about it. What I didn't expect was to like the movie as much as I did. It's a tragic love story and was very much in your face about everything. I like movies like that. I want a movie to be real and raw and up front about everything.

I don't want to ruin the movie if anyone else out there hasn't seen it yet, but it was a good movie. Of course, they are no fools. They hooked us straight guys up with a couple of nude shots of women. After all, what good is a cowboy movie without naked women?

And on that subject, Anne Hathaway is no "princess" in this movie. I can see the Disney studio having a fit regarding her role in this movie. She was excellent though. She is ready for the more "adult" movies now. Not those kind of movies... get your mind out of the gutter.

So I give it three thumbs up... no wait... sorry two thumbs up. Damn it... now everyone is going to think I'm gay. Don't make me prove I'm not gay...

Tickled my fancy

I am still swamped, but I saw this image and couldn't resist posting it. Don't know who made it, so I can't give proper credit. Either way, it's pretty damn funny.

Please just make it quick and painless

Ever had one of those days when you just wish someone would come into the office and go postal? That way, it would be quick, painless, and I'd go out with a bang. It's one of those days...

About Time

Christmas is finally over in my house. I have taken down all of the Christmas decorations and threw away the tree this morning. I know, I know... I usually do all of this when on the Festival of the Three Kings (Jan. 6). This has always been a tradition in my family and I decided long ago to keep this tradition.

So anyway, I have been overly productive today (for me at least) and now I can sit back and relax. What do you know, it's just like my real job. Work for a couple of hours and play the rest of the day.

Not good at all

Life is too ironic. Yesterday... well, I didn't go in to work. Today, I'm not feeling good at all.

Then again, when you drink 18 margaritas between three people, you're probably not feeling good for a certain reason. My head is throbbing. This sucks big time.

Fast Car

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

- Tracy Chapman

**************************************

I was listening to this song today and realized that I have never really saved a large sum of money to just up and go somewhere. In fact, all of the times I have moved to a different city, I have carefully planned my new life. I had a job prior to moving and I found a place to live ahead of time.

It sounds kind of exciting to just pack up and move somewhere without any planning involved. To just figure it out along the way. I'm sure it is frustrating at times, but that would be the best part. Afterwards, when everything is settled, it would feel so good to see your accomplishments through the rough times.

I have always had this conservative side to me. I don't like to travel without knowing my destinations and route. Even when I take a roadtrip, I like to know where the nearest emergency places (gas stations, hotels, etc.) are at all times. Just in case. This is the dorkiest side of me. I shouldn't make myself sound too boring. It's not like I have all of this pre-planned on road trips. I just keep myself aware as I'm traveling. As I pass a gas station, I note (mentally) how many miles it's been that way If I break down, I know how far I have to travel to get help. I have this strong sense of self-preservation. I don't like to place myself in a helpless situation.

Anyway, Now I want to just pack up all my belongings and move somewhere. I probably won't, but the desire is still there.

Hooky

Hooky = to stay away from school without permission or to stay away from a job.

Cough...Cough...I called in sick to work today. Terrible case of stephintytusnufalufagus. Very contagious, I think.

You know, I never take days off from work just to enjoy a beautiful day. I always end up doing other side jobs or tasks that have built up around the house. Anyway, I better get back to whatever I was doing before I get too distracted.

Old People

This is too funny. I hope I'm this way when I get older.

By Clicking this link, I certify that I am a dork

Wreck of the Day

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up

- Anna Nalick

Seven deadly sins

I was thinking about this topic on the way into work this morning. I believe that I have committed just about all of the deadly sins in my life. Hell, I probably created a few more deadly sins along the way. But the one "deadly sin" that I commit the most would definitely be Pride. The big one. Supposedly, all of the other deadly sins derive from this one.

I'm sure I have been prideful several times in my life, but I think the part that is the worst is not pride in itself. It's a much darker version of pride. I constantly feel as if everything in this world involves me somehow. As if I'm the center of the world. I know this sounds crazy, but there are some of you out there that can relate. I know I'm not the only one out there that experiences this from time to time.

Anyway, I constantly have to keep myself in check to ensure the reality that I create matches actual reality. It's a self check diagnostic that I perform throughout the day to ensure my brain is working properly. I have an overactive imagination. It's a wonderful thing for a writer or movie director. But for an average person, it's a pain in the ass. Add my normal dose of paranoia to the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.

I don't know why I'm sharing this with the world. Maybe it's because I've hidden it for so long. Hiding something like this for almost thirty-two years is tiring. I know there is no such thing as a "perfect" person. We each have our flaws (some worse than others), but I just wish I had someone else's flaws for a while. Wouldn't it be fun to be able to switch flaws with each other. I'd hold someone's flaw regarding shallowness, and they could hold my flaw of insanity. I bet many more people out there in the world would be happy to have some of their flaws if they could just experience mine for a couple of days.

Oh well, I don't know why I'm being such a downer this morning. I guess I just need to zone out for a little bit. Me, my coffee, some music and lot's of work.

For the Apple Fans out there

Karma, Gotta love it

I was fulfilling my daily online news fix, when I ran across this article. Click Me, Click Me Now!

************************
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.
************************

That's gotta suck.

Freaking 2 cents

You know what sucks? Being a procrastinator.

I had something to mail and had it ready for over two weeks. I just kept forgetting to mail it. So, this morning I was all proud of myself for remembering to mail this letter. And what happens... the new postage rate goes into effect. So my 37cent stamp is not worthy enough. No... now they want 39cents to mail my letter.

Stupid postal service. I hate mailing things. I wish everything would just finally accept the Internet and be done with snail mail.

Title of your life

I was watching the Fox NFL pre-game show today and there was this interview with Matthew McConaughey and Terry Bradshaw. They are exchanging questions and Matthew asked this question to Terry.

Matthew: "If you were making a movie of your life, what would be the title?"
Terry: "You may lose with me, but you'll never win without me."

I'll be damned. That's a pretty catchy title / phrase. I think I'll use that as my phrase for 2006. If someone were to ask me the same question, I would not have an answer. Hmm... Let's see.

"Living life to the fullest, one dorky moment at a time."
"Life's too serious to live sober."
"Known by few, missed by many."

If you only had one chance to title the movie of your life, what would it be? That is a tough question.

Only in Houston

I can not believe the weather today.

70 degree weather in January.
Oh well, I guess I'll enjoy the global warming along with everyone else...

Confession Time

I was raised Catholic, so as a child I was taught that we must confess our sins every week to a priest. Nothing against the Catholic religion, but I think that's a bunch of crap. Not the confessing sins part. I think that is probably pretty healthy, but that you can only confess your sins to Catholic priests. Of course this brings out the rebellious side of me. Therefore, I am going to confess my sins to the world (Well not really, but I am going to confess some of my fears and concerns.)

[Looking around to see if anyone can hear me...]
Sometimes I feel like I am the worst father in the world. My parents actually did a remarkable job of capturing my childhood while it was occurring. He was constantly videotaping or photographing me while I was growing up. During the time, I found this quite annoying and would be embarrassed by his constant picture taking. Now I am very thankful for his foresight in capturing the moment for the future. He knew that one day these memories would fade and the details would start to disappear. One of the few ways to keep those details sharp, was to capture them down for the future.

I don't think I have done this enough for my daughter. I have taken pictures of her, but I don't think I took enough when she was a child. I guess this is why I have this sudden interest in a video camera and a new digital camera. I want to capture as much of these memories as possible before she becomes a full grown woman. Sometimes I think I am too late. She is looking so much older now and she has no problem blending in with my sister's friends when they go out together. She is as tall as my youngest sister (four years older than her). The innocence in her eyes is fading each time I see her. And in another year and a half she will hit her teen years. Then it's boys, parties, and the world will start to end. I have a hard time as it is witnessing my youngest sister infatuated with a boyfriend and wanting to go out on dates all the time. She still a little girl, how can she want to do all that stuff?

I know, I know... I have to let go. The thought that worries me the most is this. If I am having a hard time letting my youngest sister become a woman, I'm going to have a hell of a time letting my own flesh and blood daughter become a woman. The selfish side of me doesn't want her to grow up. Every time I look at her, I see this three year old girl sitting in my lap.

I know I got off tangent here, but I think that is the problem. I don't feel as if I have enough pictures of her when she was younger to remember her as a little girl. If I let go of that image in my head, I'm afraid I will lose that little girl forever. Crazy as it may sound, it is true.

I'm so hot

Wow, I never realized I was that hot. I don't have anything listed in my MSN Messenger account. I guess I just wreak hotness even if I don't list anything. I received this IM last night after I left for the day.

9:36:18 PM kathieblackwell4447: You profile made me hot hit me up here angiemindless at hotmail I will send my x x x pics

Please tell me people don't actually believe this stuff. Would someone be that desperate (stupid) to actually fall for this?

Viruses, it's whats for dinner...

Pathetic

I've decided to go running today to fulfill my new year's resolution for the marathon training. I used to run every day a few months ago, but I haven't run in at least two months. By the time I left work and made it to the trail, it was dark and cold. I layered up and went on my run.

Oh my gawd. It was freaking cold. To begin with, I haven't run in a while and the air made it hard to breathe. I also am a competitive person and wanted to just pick up my running where I last left off. I know that's a stupid thought, but I tried very hard to maintain my old pace. I'm freaking hurting now. I tried to run three miles, but ended up running half of that and walking the other half. Very pathetic indeed. It's a good thing I have a year to prepare for the marathon.

I'm hoping that by going more often, I can adjust my body to the cold air and it won't burn so much when I breathe.

On a positive note, I finished one book already for the year. One down, fourteen to go. The book was Digital Fortress by Dan Brown. Very good book. I highly recommend all of his books. I have read all of his others except Deception Point. I plan on buying that one soon, but I have to start my next book first. I'm currently reading Wicked by Gregory Maguire. I heard the book was really good and I want to see the play. It's coming to Houston in a few months.

Anyway, I'm off to take some pain medication and rest these old bones.

There's Always an Excuse

Shut it down
Get it right
Cause a person can't win if they don't even put up a fight
Get it right
Everyone has got something that keeps them awake in the night
That's a fact
Don't think of the times that you gave up and let out some slack
Take it back
Don't think you're the only one going through it
Take it back


-311

Sniff Sniff

"Sometimes, when I'm really nervous, I stick my hands in my armpits, and I smell them? [Sniffs] Aaah...."

- Mary Katherine Gallagher

Back slowly away from the computer...

Place your hands above your head and don't make any sudden movements.

If there was such a thing as the geek police, this is what they would shout to me right now. I didn't get much sleep last night, yet here I am again awake at some ungodly hour. Why?

So I can fix my cousin's computer by tomorrow night (or tonight I guess now that it is way past midnight). This is why I can't touch a computer after 9:00PM. I get obsessed and want to fix everything and make it work before I go to sleep. I get all jazzed up and there is this huge adrenaline rush. Of course the energy drink may be the cause of some of that hyperness.

(Side rant coming... I actually was going to go to the 24-hour Starbucks earlier in the night, but my laziness got the best of me and I settled for an energy drink from Walgreen's instead. I had to stop there to get my sister a card for her birthday tomorrow / today. I went in to the store, picked out a card, and as I walked to the register I noticed that somehow an energy drink landed in my hands. I called it a miracle and assumed it was my destiny to drink the energy drink. Is it a coincidence that the energy drink is called "Monster"? I think not!)

Okay, since I'm awake I'll detail what I have found wrong with my cousin's system so far. He dropped off his computer complaining that it reboots every 30 minutes or so. His CD-ROM drives are also not working. And he can't remember if he has updated his virus software. Oh oh... I have a feeling I know where to start looking.

So, this is what I have found so far.

Viruses = 4 variations of different viruses. Twelve viruses total.
Trojan Files = 21 different files that had trojan software. Hence all the viruses.
Spyware = 1094 spyware objects (12 of them requiring a reboot into safe mode to remove them)

I had to use two separate anti-virus software to ensure that all of the viruses were removed. I'm glad I did, because the second anti-virus software caught an older virus that the first anti-virus software let slip through. I scanned over 120,000 files each time.

The only other issue is with the CD-ROM drives. I can not get them working for the life of me. I have tried swapping them with a known working drive (no luck). I have tried a different power supply (no luck). It's like there is a short somewhere and it may causing all kinds of wacky things. If I could only find my voltmeter...

While I'm writing my autobiography here, I may as well give a little history of myself. I used to work for a computer company a long, long, long time ago (in a former life). We handled all forms of hardware problems and software issues. I prided myself on not letting a computer get the best of me.

Daniel 1000, Computer Systems 0

Until today... I don't know if it's because I'm just getting older and not caring so much about the hardware. Or is it because I have been away from it too long? I have been doing the software side of computer for the last nine years. Could it be that I am getting rusty? I dont' know for sure, but to tell you the truth I don't care. There comes a point in your life when you have to evaluate whether spending days on an antiquated system is worth it. Or would it be better to tell him that his six year old system is dead now and it's time to move on. Let the system rest in peace man...

So I think I will call it a night and realize that at least his system is spyware and virus free now. Hopefully, I can get a few hours sleep in as well. Sleep is overated anyway. If my body really needs it that bad, then it can make me pass out at any time. Until then, I'm going down fighting...

What do you know?

I was watching a show on the history channel about the inner workings of coffee. I had no idea that the coffee "bean" was actually a fruit. Call me stupid, but this thought never occurred to me. They were comparing the coffee tree plantation to a grape vineyard. I had no idea that they were so similar.

I have created a quick summary for those who are interested in the five second version of the show.

1.) Grow coffee (fruit?)
2.) Pick what look like cranberries, but are coffee fruit (see above picture).
3.) Squish out the coffee seeds (this is what we call coffee beans).
4.) Dry wet coffee seeds over air.
5.) Roast coffee beans.
6.) Sell coffee beans or grind 'em up to make coffee.

That's all there is to it. I oversimplified most of the steps, but that is all there is to coffee. Damn it, I hate watching shows like this late at night. Now I have to drive to the 24-hour Starbucks to get my coffee groove on. And I despise Starbucks coffee. But what do you do when your addicted to caffeine and that monkey on your back won't leave you alone? Stupid monkey...

Skyline View

I try not to mention too many details of my work, since I really have a desire for a thing called a "paycheck". I just have to mention that I really like the view from my office. It is especially beautiful at night. The downtown buildings have a nice glow to them and the various colors on top of the buildings makes them come to life.

This would be so much better if I wasn't stuck at my desk working right now. Well I'm not really working, just finishing up some personal stuff here at the office. Anyway, I want to remind myself of the little things in life that I often take for granted. The ability to see with my eyes, the wonderful feeling of touch, and of course the ability to think for myself.

Sounds kind of sappy, I know. The thought just hit me and I felt like capturing it down.

Long Lost Friend

Insomnia, my friend. Where have you been? It's been so long since I've seen you.

Ah, I see you have found me. I thought we may never see each other again. Alas, I was wrong.

As much as you have been a part of my life in the past, I'm afraid you are no longer welcome dear friend. But you are persistent and will not leave. Thus, I'm sitting here typing in silence.

I know they didn't

Have you been to the movies lately? If you have, perhaps you have had the pleasure of seeing the new Coca-Cola commercial before the movie. (Side rant here. Why the hell am I watching commercials before a movie that I paid hard earned cash for? Something just isn't right with that concept.) Anyway, back to my point before I forget what the hell I was talking about. Damn it, I'm forgetting it already.

Oh wait, okay. Back to the point now. There is this new commercial where this guy builds a time machine and travels back in time to share is Coke with interesting people from the past. It is basically some guy narrating slides that appeared on the screen. That is the boring part. The funny part goes like this.

E: (Leans over to me and in a serious tone says) "The time machine look like a penis."
Me: "My god, your right. Actually, It looks more like a toy from your drawer."

I don't think she found that joke as funny as I did. And just to make it clear. IT WAS A JOKE. But damn it, the time machine was a giant metallic penis (not just the penis, but the testicles as well). Then it was obvious. Almost all of the slides had some form of phallic image. Then the final image appeared on the screen. A giant Coke bottle (not as phallic as the time machine, but phallic enough). Was this some form of perverted joke that slipped through the executives at Coke? My hope is that this time machine image was created by someone inside the company that is tired of "the Man" and decided to stick it to him from the inside.

On a side rant (again), Do I need to get the permission of people I use in my blog? Interesting situation. Not that I think "E" would ever sue me, but I have mentioned other people on this site as well. If I place a prior conversation on this site and someone objects, could they sue me? I'm no lawyer, but screw them if they try. The joke would be on them, because I'm as broke as a hand dryer in a public restroom.

Movie Experience

I am so exhausted, but I just had to get this one rant off of my chest.

What is with these movie prices? I read the other day that the movie industry revenue has dropped again for the third straight year. And you want to know why? Look at these prices.

Ticket for two = $14
Popcorn and drink = $20

That's over $30 just for two people to attend a movie. For that price, I could wait for the movie to come out onto DVD and buy two of them. Then watch the movie as much as I like and show the movie to whomever I please. But, I guess I can't complain too much because I added to their revenue this year. I'm sure it won't be the last time I see a move in the theaters. Hopefully, the movie studios will get the message and produce better quality movies or lower their prices.