Sent from my Jesus phone

You know what drives me crazy? When people create their damn e-mail signatures specifically for their Blackberries or iPhones.

Sent from my (insert device name here)

I was going to create one like that when I first got my phone, but then realized how much of a tool I would look like and decided against it. Does it really matter how you responded to an e-mail? Is sending it from your phone any different than sending it from a computer? Seriously???

Some people have nothing good in their life if that is what brings them joy. I know several people that love to show off their damn iPhone every chance they get. Enjoy the attention while you can iPhone whores because that's all you got in your life.

Why am I such a bitter old fool sometimes. Okay most of the time. Damn it, all of the time.

What is this "boo" you are speaking of?

I have never liked Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee and now I have another reason why I dislike her. She gave a speech at TSU and announced her support for Hillary. She was booed so hard that it is making national news. You know it says something when you are booed in your own Hometown.

She mentioned that she is not worried about her re-election chances, but I would have to disagree. Be worried Sheila, be very worried.

Must... stay... awake...

How can you tell you're getting old? Your daughter is staying up later than you.

I fight every second of it and try to stay up, but damn it if she is full of energy. Where the hell does she get so much energy? It has to be because I am sick, yeah... that's the ticket.

I like to see how many words I can get out in one breath

Being congested sucks big time. The only benefit is witnessing the look on other people's face when they forget I am sick and then are quickly reminded.

I can't breathe very well right now. So when I talk in long sentences, I have to snort a little to catch my breath. It's funny to see everyone take a quick step back every time I do this. Like my head is going to explode and snot will fly everywhere.

Twit to the er

I've known about Twitter for a while now, but really didn't think that I would use it. After all, I barely have time to post entries into this site. How the hell would I find time to add a sentence to Twitter on random occasions. My thoughts are flying a million times a second and I barely remember enough for these posts. By the time I log into Twitter, I would have forgotten what I wanted to say.

What I didn't know was that it has the ability to allow you to post from your cell phone via SMS. Aahhh... that is exactly what I need. Quick SMS of my thought and I am on my way. Now I just have to remember that it is there and use it more often.

Why would I do this? No particular reason. Hell, I don't even have any friends associated with Twitter yet. I think it's similar to how this site started. I wanted something to capture my thoughts and be able to review later. An online journal if you will. Well if this blog is an online diary, then Twitter is more like the ability to write graffiti on a bathroom stall. Stupid analogy, but it's all I got.

I'd face a Landslide for you Stevie

Stevie Nicks is 59. OMG... I feel so old now. So, so old now. I always had a crush on her since I was a little kid. Who DIDN'T love Stevie Nicks? I think it was part bad girl (Wickin - Witch thing) and her beautiful voice. But now that I know she is 59, it just feels a little weird.

How can a 21 year old buck like myself have a crush on a 59 year old cougar like Stevie? Delusion, ain't it grand?

Not the yellow dust, anything but the yellow dust

You know what sucks about living in Texas?

When you feel like crap, but you don't know if it is a cold or allergies. What the hell is wrong with that scenario??? How can someone not know if they are sick or just having an allergy issue?

I have taken several different cold / flu medicines and all types of allergy medicines. Nothing. My nose feels clogged up and runny at the same time. AT THE SAME TIME. It is driving me crazy. I'm averaging about two hours of sleep a night (in ten minute intervals).

I have this damn cough that will not stop no matter what I do. I have taken nyquil, theraflu, and resorted to cough syrup with codine. Nothing. Still hacking away all night. I have tried sleeping elevated, tried sleeping with on my head with one arm wrapped around my waist, standing up. Nothing is working.

This is the first step to insanity. How can I hold back my inner voices if I don't get any sleep?

Don't Stop Believin'

I have been reunited with one of the best CDs on earth today.

Journey's Greatest Hits

My ex-wife (wife at the time) has a brother that would always live with us from time to time. Mind you, this brother of hers was at least eight years older than us. He was the type of guy that just couldn't keep a job to save his life. He was fired for various reasons (didn't show up for work, punched his boss in the face, left town without telling anyone). Whenever he needed a place to stay, he would call my ex-wife. Of course, we were the last option when he was desperate. Anyway, I digress...

So I finally got tired of it all and told him to pay us all the money he owed us and get the hell out. What did he do? He bailed in the middle of the night. The only thing he left was his Journey's Greatest Hits CD in my CD player. I loved that CD and felt it was Karma giving me the slightest reward for putting up with all his shit. I would play that damn CD over and over again for several months straight.

Fast forward one year and we were moving to Houston. We had two apartments (College Station and Houston) for a couple of months to ease the transition while we were both looking for jobs. We come back to the old apartment and I find his stuff scattered everywhere. In MY place... What the Fuck. I throw all his shit outside and leave this nasty ass letter telling him to stay the fuck out. I had the apartments change the locks. I never heard from him again after that.

Then it hit me... I looked in my CD player and it was gone. The Bastard took back his damn CD. All that time and he fucking took back the CD. He must have had it on him because it was not in his stuff. Lord knows what ever else he may have taken during that time. BASTARD.

We eventually got divorced, but I hear Ashley mention his name from time to time. So he must still be talking to his sister. And listening to that damn CD.

Camping with the Easter Bunny

To camp or not to camp... that is the question. I have been invited to go camping today. It is such a beautiful day and I know it would be nice, but (isn't there always a but) I know there will be a whole hell of a lot of drinking as well. I had requests to bring bottles of vodka and some beer already.

Normally, that would make camping even better. The only problem is that tomorrow is Easter. How can I live with myself knowing how bad I was the night before Easter. Just kidding...

The real problem is that I am having lunch with the familia tomorrow and I would be heading straight from the camp site to their house. STRAIGHT. Hungover and everything. Now my family would probably expect me to already be hungover and they enjoy that part because they love to see me suffer. They have done it before and they will do it again. They love to talk real loud and bang things around. And "coincidently" like to take long trips outside on those days where it is bright and sunny.

Is it worth all of that suffering? I'm thinking it is. Perhaps. Still not sure yet.

I like my BLTs with a little Jesus on the toast

I guess it's been a while since I last told some dark secret about myself. Well, as Wolf brand chili says, "That's been too long". I think this one came as a shock to me today.

I like some Christian rock bands.

Yeah, I know. Who would of thunk a person like me could listen to Christian music. Of course my ears burn a little when listening, but sometimes the blood and pain are worth it. The latest dirty secret group I am fond of "Addison Road". I'm still not quite sure why I like the music. And the lyrics could be twisted to fit into my ordinary world and not all that "God" stuff that it is really intended to spread.

Spread the word of God. Do these people realize that they are practically talking about condiments with a holy deity? Like he's mayo or mustard that should be slathered on a sandwich. Okay, I feel much better now that I have added another notch to my external damnation belt.

I just had Boston Market

All good things...

I have come to loath streaks... I feel so let down afterwards. That's twice now this year that some damn "streak" punched me in the gut like a little pigtail girl high on sugar. Oh little pigtail girl, why do you despise me so?

Anyway, it was nice while it lasted and they did a hell of a job. But why Boston? Anyone but Boston (and LA) I could have handled. Oh well, that's over now. Let us focus on the rest of the season and still be on top. If we can make it out of the 1st round and shut those damn naysayers up, I will be a happy man. Aching with a sore gut, but happy none the less.

Like a scene from Amityville Horror

So I was changing yesterday and noticed this big ass horse fly in my room. I close my bedroom door to make sure it doesn't get away and get my fly swatter. After ten minutes of chasing and swatting the damn thing, I finally kill it. Or so I thought...

I had taken a huge chunk out of the thing. I went to the bathroom to get a tissue to pick it up. When I came back, it was climbing up my closet door. CLIMBING UP MY DOOR. The thing wouldn't die. I smashed the hell out of the fly and flushed it down the toilet. Extra paper, extra flushes just to make sure.

So fast forward to today. I come home and start changing when I noticed it. There were THREE of those exact same flies in my room. All of them on the windows. FREAKY... Freaky enough to seriously freak me out. Was it a sign? Is my place on some Indian burial ground? What the hell? What are the chances that the day after I kill one of those freaking big ass flies, three more would appear?

I swear if I come home tomorrow and there are six of those damn flies in my room, I'm moving in a heartbeat before I go crazy and kill everyone in my four-plex.

Oh lotto, why do you tease?

The MegaMillions lottery is now at 69 million dollars. Sixty-nine million. Coincidence? I think not... at least for a pervert like me so I'm buying my ticket.

Blackjack

The Rockets are tied for 1st place in the Western Conference and are alone on top of the division. How sweet is 21-0? Very sweet my friend, very sweet indeed.

Night owl conversion

Only one day left of my spring break and my sleeping patterns are off now. I stay up way later than I should and wake up around brunch time. I need to start weening my body back to my normal sleeping schedule or I will be screwed next week.

I'm still not sure why I am sharing this information with the world. One of those stupid things I guess.

An offer you can not refuse

I think the mafia has moved to Santa Fe, Texas. There is definitely some kind of ticket extortion going on there. I was pulled over about a month ago on my way to Galveston. Mind you, I was going 65 (legal speed limit) in the far left lane. A cop on the far right shoulder (five lanes over including the shoulder) pulled me over because he saw my inspection sticker was expired. FIVE FREAKING LANES OVER. How the hell does he notice that when he is stationary and I am doing 65?

Anyway, his freakish observation powers aside, he gives me a ticket. Never mind that the ticketing method used expired in the 50's. Who the hell still uses old carbon paper that you can't read jack shit on nowadays? He writes the phone number on the ticket for the judge's office. He gives me the wrong freakin number. I called all kinds of variations of that number and not one of them were right. So what does a logical geek like me do in this situation? I google the freaking judge with the little information I can read from my ticket. My google-fu is strong because I found the office and the phone number wasn't even close to what the asshole DPS cop wrote on the ticket.

Okay Daniel... breath.... so I talk to the nice lady on the phone and explain that I can not read when my court date is and she tells me that I don't have one. The officer just writes that date on the ticket as an informational date. I can schedule one if I like. I tell her I would rather just pay the fine and mail in all my information. She gives me the mailing address and tells me what to include in the letter. No biggie, then we get to the fine amount. The conversation goes like this...

Me: You only take money orders or cashier's checks through the mail, is that correct?
Court Lady: Yes
Me: Then how much do I need to send in?
CL: Well your sticker was expired in 2007, is that correct?
Me: Yes
CL: Well, did you get the inspection done?
Me: Yes
CL: Good news, then all you owe is a dollar plus the court costs.
Me: (Starting to get excited. Wow only a dollar.) That sounds good. So what is the total?
CL: $101
Me: What?
CL: Yes, one dollar for the fine and $100 for the court costs.
Me: (Chocking on my spit from the shock and awe she just dropped on me.)
CL: Well, it's actually better than the $131 you would have to pay if you had to come to court.
Me: Yes, that is true. (I start laughing kind of nervously)
CL: Is there a problem.
Me: No, I guess I'm just used to Harris County where the court costs are much cheaper for this type of fine.
CL: Yeah. Well, we charge $100 for our court costs here.
Me: Okay, thank you very much. (Looking for something to OD with)

There is no way this hick town needs to charge $100 for court costs when I'm not even going to court. Seriously, $100 just to take my letter, open it up, put the information into the computer, and deposit my money. Seriously?

I swear the mafia has moved from the casinos to the judicial system.

Oh yeah... doing the backspace

You know the best thing about where I live? The fact that you can get fucked up and stagger home. I have learned to watch for cars and I can just auto-pilot my way home without having to drive. BEST THING EVAR.

Having to backspace every other letter kinda sucks though. I guess it goes with the territory. I can't be too messed up though, because they spelling errors annoy me still.

Back to the story at hand. Even better is being asked by two separate bartenders if I was okay. I just answer yes and they still serve you drinks. Isn't that the bestest thing ever? Why even ask? I found it funny. Funny enough that I ordered another round to go. They didn't find that too funny like me, but they still served me more anyway.

I love my area. It's the bomb. I know no one says that anymore, but they should. It would be appropriate with the whole war thing going on right now. THE BOMB! I wonder if I should head back out. Is that a question? I think that sentence should have ended with a question mark.

Damn you Mr. backspace. I had text here, but mr. backspace helped me out and wiped out the stupid comment I originally had here. Only me and the backspace, sharing the secret. Doesn't that sound like some kind of sex position? The backspace...

That is too funny. Wait until people google backspace and sex position. That will be funny.

A day that will live in infamy

Sigh... I guess all good things must come to an end at some point.

My free Tivo service is no more. I went to turn on my Tivo and it showed my account as disabled. DISABLED! I called the Tivo people and they said the account was not on the lifetime plan, but a monthly plan. What the FUCK? Really, that is more for the original owners of the Tivo and not for me.

How can someone pay the last three years for a Tivo they never even used? When I told the woman on the phone, she started laughing. Seriously, you have to be super loaded to not even notice that bill for three years. She said they just closed the account this month.

Anyway, I am now a slave to the Tivo society and just payed out for a year of Tivo service. Oh joy, yet another monthly bill to add to my tech ball and chain.

Nineteen and ooh

I was having a very strong debate in my head before making this post. Do I put it down in writing? Will I jinx the team by mentioning their 19-0 run? I'm still not sure, but I knocked on wood just in case.

The Houston Rockets are kicking some serious ass lately. Surprise, surprise, they are actually getting the coverage they deserve on ESPN. The analyst finally put into words what they have been doing to the Rockets this whole time.

"At first it was fun, then it was a streak, now it is a serious contending team that has an impact on the standings." or something to that effect.

They are only one game back from the Lakers and the Spurs. Only ONE GAME. This is incredible. Only 17 games left. A lot can change in 17 games.

Everyone needs to know on some wood for the Rockets. I said, knock on some would damn it!

One ball at a time

Life is like juggling. You have various aspects of your life (family, friends, work, relationships, self) tossed around in the air. I was very bad at juggling the past few years. Something would always drop. In my case, several things would drop, but now I seem to have a solid handle on juggling a few things in my life.

I think it's time I start adding other aspects to my juggling act.

Day of the New

So last night I was tired and went to bed a little early. My inner demon did not like this idea, but my sane side won out and I went to bed anyway. I ended up sleeping for about ten hours last night. When I woke up this morning, I felt refreshed. Like for real refreshed.

For real real, not for play play.

Sorry, every time I say for real real, that line goes off in my head. It's a Drawn Together thang. Anyway, after my Zest fully clean moment this morning, I decided to go running. I did not want to run, but I forced myself to go run. This was at 8:30 in the morning. So I ran...

I don't know what it is, but I have this new found feeling of happiness that I haven't felt in a very long time. The strange part is that it is not tied to anything in particular. Usually I may feel some excitement about something, but I know why I am excited. Today, no apparent reason. I love the feeling anyway.

So I hear by decree today my "Day of the New". The only other way I can describe the feeling is in computer terms. It's like taking a very, very long Word document that is full of corrections and amendments and just deleting it. Today is my brand spanking new document. Blank and just staring at me. So now I can not sit here and wait for it to fill itself. I must go out and find things to fill into this document. So now I'm filling.

I know this may sound stupid to some and definitely dorky to others, but I am supercereal when I say, "I don't care". I really don't. There has to be some scientific reason for this feeling, I just don't understand why at the moment. I wonder if there is some kind of planet alignment today. Or perhaps it is related to the daylight savings change tomorrow.

Either way, I'm back on my way to half-full status again. The half-empty stuff was not a fun place to be. Trust me.

Coin flip, heads good, tails bad

I get a whole week off next week for spring break. What ever shall I do?

Cue up music and zoom shot in for my evil grin...

Oh yeah, baby! I got's me some plans. Big plans indeed. Or not.

Sexy Can I

I choose various songs at times to express different aspects of my life at that moment in time. Sometimes I post lyrics just because I really like the song at the time. I am a HUGE music person. If I ever went deaf, that would be the worst punishment for me. Anyway, today's lyric is provided because I can't get this damn song out of my head. It's all in the hook.

Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.
Girl how you shake it, got a playa like (ohhhh)
It's a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

- Ray J

Texas Two Step

I did my part and performed my "Texas Two Step" as they are lovingly calling the primary and caucus voting here in Texas this year. The caucus was mad crazy chaotic. There were no official lines at first and I ended up right behind the National NBC reporter that was broadcasting from our voting precinct. I think I may have been on the national evening news a few times.

It was funny. The manager lady put a folding chair next to me to prevent people from walking in front of the camera. She said it would also prevent the crazy people from trying to get on TV. Ha... little did she know me.

I wanted to do the crazy lady dance like the mom did in Waterboy, but I did not. I was literally butt to butt with the TV reporter. It was kind of funny because she had to stand on a box just to get into view with the crowd. All the while, she was barefooted. TV is some crazy business.

Anyway, I just wanted to put my damn name down and get the hell outta dodge. The crowd was starting to kick in my claustrophobia and drive me insane. I finally put my name down and found the nearest empty exit.

All this pain and suffering better be worth it or I'm going to be pissed.

Hello there little sheep

Ever have one of those days where all you want to do is sleep? I think I am having one of those days. The constant wind blowing through the trees is not helping the matter.

My Tuesday decision

I don't normally do this, but I'm going to announce my decision for my vote on Tuesday. I hope everyone remembers that they need to vote twice on Tuesday in Texas (Unless your a Hillary voter then just vote once).

What else do they have to do?

So the Rockets won tonight and have tied the franchise record with 15 straight wins. They are one of the hottest teams in basketball right now and do they get the big TV coverage? NOPE. What is all over the sports channels right now.

Kobe's stupid 50 point game. 52 points to be exact. Yeah, he did it four times in a row last year (if I remember correctly) and this is the first time he has done it this season, but come on.

Give them some TV coverage already.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send the horse over

Horses, Clowns, Wagons, and Bands = one exhausted father and daughter. We watched the Houston Rodeo parade today and had a good time watching the horses. The freakiest thing to witness today? The horse falling over onto the woman and another horse almost squishing the crowd. Fortunately everyone was safe, but it was something to witness.