Not every sticky situation has a happy ending

So I run out during my lunch to get my dog vaccinated. You know me... last minute rushing before my trip. They take her back pretty quick. Then five minutes later, they come out and call for me. Hmm... that's not usual.

I walk up and they take me back to a private room. OH MY GAWD.... They killed my dog!!! That's what I was thinking, but no. They bring her out to the room with a syringe of some brown stuff. Apparently, they had a hard time giving it to her and figured she would cooperate more if I did it.

SAY WHAT???

So I lean down while the girl holds her and have to shoot "half" the syringe in each nostril. HALF THE SYRINGE. What the fuck? She was squirming everywhere and I couldn't get the damn thing close to her nose. So I tell the girl that I will hold her and she can give her the stuff. I wrap myself around that damn dog like we were grecko-roman wrestlers. I wrap my arm around her head and grabbed her snout with my hand. The girl start to put it in one nostril, when Zoey blows the crap all over the place. Dog snot and medicine go flying all over the place (including me). Then the girl quickly jams it into the other nostril and finishes it off. Again with the snot flying everywhere.

I left the place covered in dog snot, sticky medicine, and dog hair all over me. OH JOY.... I figured screw it. I'm heading to work as I am. The first person that mentions something about the hair and snot all over me, I'm shoving a damn syringe in their nostril.

My dog was pissed. No, seriously like Royally pissed. I couldn't understand why she was so upset. She was barking and snapping at all the dogs afterwards. She was taking it out on anything around her. I then remembered that the syringe part was the last part of her traumatic visit. She was poked with needles, had her nails clipped and then a syringe shoved up both nostrils. No wonder she was so upset.

Luckiest person alive

I NEVER have this kind of luck.

Fluffy cotton balls

Life is too short. I spent the past couple of days thinking about life. I made time to stop and stare at the clouds. It's just been one of those weeks where I have been physically and emotionally drained.

I just want to pick some videos

I FINALLY got on board with the Netflix thing. I have held out long enough and now have ANOTHER monthly bill to add to my expenses. I must have the worst luck. Every time I try to add movies to my queue, the site goes down. I add a few and then the site is gone. This is the third time this has happened to me. Maybe it's a sign from the heavens that I need to not watch DVDs. Jeabus is telling me, "Enough with the TV. Go outside and enjoy the world."

Or maybe it's a big conspiracy from the bloodsucking dead donky ass licking COMCAST.I HATE that we have to use them as a cable provider. Life was wonderful when we were Time Warner. No complaints in the world. Then Comcast comes in and it sucks all the time. ALL THE TIME. I think they want me to watch videos on demand, so they break my connection with Netflix whenever I try to add movies to my queue.

Of course, they could just really suck as an Internet provider and all kinds of things are also broken right now. I should switch to AT&T's Universe. I hate that I am already giving those vampires my cell phone business, but I'm starting to run out of Internet options.

The Human Torch

You know who I envy? People that can eat chocolate in their hands and it doesn't melt. They just sit there and enjoy the candy at their own slow pace.

ME... The damn chocolate melts before it even hits my hand. I have this nasty smear of chocolate running everywhere. Even M&Ms melt in my hand. "Not in your hand" my ass. You know what? They do melt in your hand if you have combustible internal temperatures like I do.

I'm so afraid that one day, someone will come looking for me and all they will find is my fat ass scorch mark in my chair. Nothing left. I will just burst into flames.

I have ALWAYS run hot. I swear my temperature is hotter than 98.6, but I can never prove it with thermometers. They always say I'm normal. Anyone who has ever slept in the same bed as me will tell you otherwise. I'm a human torch.

Screw all you hand eating chocolate people out there. I want THAT ability.

Hypnotized by my faucet

If I owned a house, I would so get one of these.

My eyes...ze googles do nuthin

Lord No. Not as a cake.

Love me some monkey face

You know who I like as a band? A lot of bands, but today is this one in particular. Coldplay.

They have a new album coming out this month and they already released a couple of singles. The best song out there right now is Violet Hill.

Even better, they created a secret video on their website. It is one of the best videos I have seen.

It's more common than you think

I was reading a Ron Moore (Battlestar Gallatica creator) interview from Wired and discovered this gem.

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Wired: You've been committed to those other forms, too. Webisodes, the blog, the podcasts. What's the importance of those?

Moore: Now I think they're almost expected. (...) The blog is more — I don't know what to do about the blog. I go back to the blog. I created my own blog. I do it in bursts, and then I fall away from it. I find myself without a lot to say sometimes, and that's a fatal flaw in the blogosphere evidently. You're supposed to say something whether it's of value or not.

Wired: The fatal flaw is that people do it anyway.

Moore: Yeah, I just don't have a lot to say. I don't have a topic for a blog, so I don't write one till I think of something or the mood hits me. But I think it's great that these things are all out there and available, and certainly any project I do from now on will take advantage of these platforms.
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So now I feel SO MUCH better because it happens to everyone. See Internets... size doesn't matter. Oh wait, wrong topic.

Enough is enough

Ok Hill, let's make a deal. You just be a good girl and stop all this nonsense and I promise I'll help you find your sanity again. These constant delusions that you are winning the primary and leading this poll or that poll have to stop. I thought about it over the weekend and have a new theory as to why she is prolonging the inevitable.

She has early onset of Alsheimer's. This can be the only logical reason. I think she has it in her mind that it is still January and she keeps replaying that month over and over again in her head. Really, think about it... back then, she was practically guaranteed the nomination. Now, everything has changed and she snapped somewhere along the way.

At first, I kind of enjoyed watching her pain. I despised her so much because I know other women like her. I used to work with one woman that was EXACTLY like her. She would kill you with a smile and not even bat an eye. Now, I feel sorry for her. I can not even take any pleasure from the situation.

This has got to stop before you do any more damage to the party.

How do you get the flu in the summer?

Summer has officially started for me. The worst part is that I'm starting it sick. I HATE BEING SICK! This sucks. The good part is that I'm at least getting it out of the way. I'm off to New York in a few weeks so I should be over this crap by then.

The delusional fevers have passed, but I still have the crappy cough and sniffles. Oh joy...