Happy New Year

In four hours, we will usher in 2007 and kick 2006 to the curb. I had planned on listing my New Year's Resolutions, but decided to wait until tomorrow. I was thinking about them today and decided to create resolutions that are more accomplishable (is that a word?).

I hope everyone gets drunk at home and has a safe New Year's Eve. See ya in 2007.

Tickle this Elmo

This video is just twisted. Don't get me wrong. It's funny as hell, but I'm a twisted SOB.

Ass Fires

I've had the past two weeks off and I have basically spent the whole time cleaning my place. I have accomplished a lot but feel as if there is still so much more to do. I'm going to relax tonight and make the best of my last three days off. I know I'll hit the new year running like a fire is lit under my ass.

I think that's my slogan of 2007, The year of ass fires.

Temporary Placeholder

I'm holding this spot for future use when I can think of something to place here. I am just having the worst mental funk lately. I want so bad to say something witty, creative, or intelligent. Alas, nothing is there.

So... I'll leave you with a joke.


What do you call a dog with no legs?
Does it really matter? He's not going to come anyway.

Caffeine Graph

This is so true...

Props

It's not almost ever, is it?

I can't believe that my vacation is almost over. I only have five days left and I feel as if I haven't accomplished much on my list. And let's not even discuss the lack of downtime for myself. This break really isn't much time because the first week is preparing for Christmas and the second week is spent recovering from Christmas. What kind of vacation is that?

I wanted to set aside a day for myself and just drive somewhere. I was thinking Galveston for the day. Just me, some music and a good book. I don't know if that will happen now. I'll have to see if my schedule will allow time for my personal day. I have been catching myself taking care of others way too much lately. I'm worried I'm falling back into my old co-dependent self again. I heard the holidays draw you into that dependence.

Oh joy... yet another happy post.

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas! May you and everyone you know get a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. Don't worry, I won't care if you shoot your eye out.

ADRIAN...

When I was walking my dog this morning it was cold and wet. The temperature was 45 degrees and we had this strong wind blowing. So with the wind chill factor, it must have felt like 35 degrees. It was even cold according to my cold test. So here I am bundled up with my sweat shirt, jacket, and heavy fleece sweat pants. I even had on my Rocky Balboa hat. I could have blended in with the Philly crowd this morning.

So we are walking and I see something all the way down the other end of the street. It was a man just casually walking toward us. He must have been 400 feet away. And I thought to myself, "Self... why do his arms look funny?" Then it hit me. He's wearing a short sleeve shirt. Good god, is he crazy? I could expect that from some sixteen year old kid that just doesn't know any better. But this guy was in his sixties. He was wearing a pair of jeans and just a cotton short sleeve shirt.

I'd done seen it all... Then my mind started racing. Maybe he is just old and lonely. This time of year wrecks havoc on a person's soul. Maybe he is trying to catch hypothermia and freeze to death. Then the realist slapped the romantic side of me and said, "Or maybe he's from Philly and we don't really know what cold is."

Look Ma... no wires

I finally welcomed my family to the 21st century. They FINALLY got off of dial-up and are using high speed Internet. Of course, who is there to connect everything? ME...

Now they went from one extreme to the other side. They not only got high speed Internet, but they also created a home network and added a wireless router. Oh my gawd, that is a whole lot of newness for them. Fortunately, it all worked out and is a pretty sweet network. Who am I kidding? Of course it all worked out. I set it all up for them.

The best part was the comments from them.

"You mean we can talk on the phone AND use the Internet at the same time?"
"Do I have to shut down my computer when someone else wants to use the Internet?"
"Do I need to delete all of my private information from my computer since its connected to the Internet at all times?"
"You mean we can use wireless at home? I thought it was only for public places like the library."

You can't make this stuff up. It was too funny.

Everytime someone says "Happy Holidays", baby Jesus cries

You know, we are only three days away from Christmas and it really doesn't feel like Christmas. I can freakin wear shorts and flip flops during the day. That just isn't Christmas weather to me. I try and try to get into the Christmas spirit, but it just ain't happening. I bought a nice tree. I have wrapped presents under the tree. I even play Christmas type of music throughout the day. But this dumb weather is not helping any. I wish we would get some freak snow on Monday.

Anyway... my mother and I got into it at dinner today. It wasn't that bad because my sister kind of put a stop to it. It boils down to the waitress saying "Happy holidays" at the end of our meal. My mother went into some rant about "Merry Christmas" and how people are not into the Jesus spirit anymore. I swear she is getting worse with this church thing as she gets older. So I mention that not everyone is Christian and the waitress has no idea if we were. Then she made some ignorant comment that it didn't matter and that she should have said "Merry Christmas". Well I'm sure it does matter to those that aren't Christian and I vaguely remember something about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa being important this time of year. Hhmmm... where have I seen that. Oh yeah.. how about EVERYWHERE.

It really irritates me when she is so closed minded about other religions. The majority is not always right mother!!! I'm just getting frustrated thinking about our conversation. So there you have it. Another joyous night filled with festivites and family feuding.

(Sarcasm) Isn't it great living in the same city as your family? (/Sarcasm)

Psshh

I was cleaning my room and heard this noise "Psshh". I stop and look around. I can't figure out what is making the noise so I continue cleaning. "Psshh". What the fuck is that sound?

Then it hits me. The damn smell of death.

My stupid dog lets out a fart and then leaves the room. She comes BACK into the room, farts again, and then leaves. What the fuck is that about? Not only is my dog a "fart and leave the room" kind of dog, but I think she may actually be doing it on purpose. She has been trying to get me to take her out for an hour or so.

Is this some sort of revenge tactic? The smell was so bad I had to come type this up while the room airs out. Stupid dorky dog.

Baby Jesus rocking the glow sticks

Boom...Boom..dud..dud..dud...Amazing Grace...Boom...Boom...dud...dud...dud...that saved a wretch like me...

Nothing like mixing trance music with Christmas music. That's what playing on my iPod right now. I have "acquired" a copy of the Trance X-mas cd and have been playing it all day long. I find the fast beat of the trance music helps me while I am cleaning. I have more "pop" while listening to it. It may also be the boatloads of caffeine that I have consumed today.

Ah, my precious friend. It has been too long. Excuse me while I finish cleaning and slam down another energy drink.

Boom...Boom..dud...dud...dud...

What can I say

Hhmmm.... yeah. I don't know what I was thinking last night. All I can say is don't drink the frozen margaritas from Ninfa's. They must use the cheapest liquor available because I shouldn't have been that bad last night. I only had four of them, but they were definitely doing a number on me.

Why is it that when you are throwing up so hard in the toilet that it doesn't seem that unsanitary to you? My head was way in the toilet last night. Nose almost touching the water close. But all I could think about was how wonderful Mr. Toilet was to me. It allowed me to get sick inside of it and not all over the bathroom floor. And the lights, oh how they were bright at that time.

Anyway. I would have rather done the whole drunk dialing thing because at least it wouldn't have been out there in writing. You can always say it never happened when its a call, but on a blog. Well, that's a different story. I really need to lock up my computer before I go out drinking. Really... am I that lame that I came how and the first thing I did was blog? I remember watching some TV as well, but I don't remember getting on the computer. I must have been really messed up.

Look ma... no hands

This is a general disclaimer. I am buzzing right now. Okay... I am totally drunk out of my ass right now. nothing like drunk blog posting. I keep making mistakes and have to keep erasing my mistakes. damn erase button.

So... ever notcie how when your drunk everything you tuype is dislexic? I am so gone now it ain't funny. I know I wanted to type sometihing but I dont' remember what it is.

I want to so throw up right now. You know what? I am craving Hooter's wings and french fries right now, but I am too drunk to drive to Hooter's. I wish they would deliver. I want to show up at 9:00 am tomorrow morning and get me some wings and fries. It sounds soo good right now. Damn I'm hungry.

Fuck... they say when your drunk you speak the truth. I need to get off htis damn blog right now befoe the truth starts to come out. I want me some doamn wings. With blue cheese and fries. And some beer really sounds good right now. Fuck, i don't have anything to eat here, but fuicking tuna. and popcorn.

Tunacorn .... I keep hitting the eject button for the cd-rom accidently. That is soooo fucked up.


Haha.... I grabbed the cell phone and tried to use it as the mouse a second ago. I am soo gone now.

Daily Grind

Sooo... I have eight hours of work tomorrow and then I'm off for two weeks. Let's see... how should I break up my day?

8:30 - 9:00 Stop at Deidrich's and get some coffee.
9:00 - 11:00 Check my e-mail. Surf the web. Socialize with my co-workers.
11:00 - 2:00 Margarita lunch
2:00 - 4:00 Check the Internet some more to make sure it hasn't gone anywhere.
4:00 - ?? Drive home reminiscing about my productive work day.

If anyone from work happens to stumble upon this page, this was all a joke and I will be working very very hard during the day. And I will be wearing jeans tomorrow. You see, we normally have to wear business casual clothing except for Fridays. We can wear jeans on Fridays.

The last day of a normal work week ends on a Friday. If tomorrow is the last day of our work week, it must be a Friday. Therefore, I get to wear jeans.

I sure hope my daughter has a better sense of logic than me.

Guy gift

Sometimes I feel bad that I'm a guy. I'm not the usual man's man type of guy but I do have my moments. Like holidays and birthdays. I'm terrible about them. At work we had the lone female co-worker take care of all that kind of stuff. Well she was transferred over to a different area a couple of years ago and we haven't done anything since then.

No cakes during the holidays. No decorations around the desks. No boss's day flowers or card. No birthday cards or cakes. And no Christmas stuff for our boss. How much do we suck?

The worst part... my boss is a woman. So she gives all of us Christmas presents. She makes homemade fudge during the holidays for us. And she gives each of us a birthday card.

So this year, I've taken it as my duty to at least get some of the guys together and get her Christmas gifts. I went out and got mine today. I only hope the other guys go out and get something for her.

So, I've already mentioned how much of a guy I am regarding those type of things. What do I get her? A Yankee candle holder and a Yankee candle. It seems kinda girly. I thought that some sort of boss mug or some crap like that would be too cheesy.

If you were a woman, would you like the gift?

If you build it...

This is just too classic.
Wall

Mental note

Next year if I start talking about a live Christmas tree, smack me upside the head with a 2x4 three stooges style.

For cereal... watering a fresh tree everyday is a bitch. Yeah it looks nice and smells really good, but is it really worth all the work? Wait... are we talking about trees or women???

I honestly don't know how women put up with me sometimes (and by put up, I really mean not smack the shit out of me).

Ho Hum

I get two weeks off for the Christmas break every year. We start the break next week and it is long overdue. I was talking to some people today and told them about the two weeks off. They get Christmas day off and that's it. They asked what I was going to do and honestly I don't know. I really would like to just get away and travel somewhere. Unfortunately, I know that wont happen. I don't have the money to travel anywhere and I don't have the time to stay gone for too long.

RUT = a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.

Haha... very funny

Sooo... Who is the person playing a trick on me? Seriously, if you're messing with my head you have succeeded. Now I need you to fess up right now.

I thought about it and thought about it. Then it hit me this morning. I did blow out the candle that night. I remember messing with the wick after the candle was blown out. I clearly remember the wax moving over the wick and trying to keep the wax from hardening back over the wick. It was out.

So, only a select few individuals have a copy of my keys. If I didn't light the candle, someone else did while I was away. Someone did light the candle, right???

The weird thing is that my mother freaked me out today. I saw her this evening and told her about the candle. I told her how I thought someone was messing with me. (On a side note, for those who don't know my mother. She is queen of the Catholic religion.) This was our conversation to the best of my memory.

Me: I picked up one of those saint candles the other day.
Mom: The prayer candles? I thought you didn't believe in those candles.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: Like that one. (She points to the Virgin Mary prayer candle on her table)
Me: Yeah. Like that one. But it was of Saint Jude.
Mom: Why Saint Jude?
Me: Honestly, I just liked the color. The green candle was the best looking one there.
(Awkward silence as my mom gives me this dirty look. Like spit in your face dirty.)
Me: So... I come back home yesterday and I find the candle was lit. I thought I forgot to blow it out, but then I remembered that I did blow it out. I think someone is playing a trick on me.
Mom: Why would someone do that? (Then her eyes light up) It's a sign. Saint Jude is the patron saint of impossible things. It's a sign around Christmas time that you should come back to the church.
Me: Ummm yeah. I don't think it was a sign.
Mom: Yes it was. You should have called the news or something.

Okay. I have never seen my mom act like that. I just smiled and started to back out the room. I kept thinking, "Don't break eye contact. Walk slowly. No sudden movements." She started to really freak me out there. She has been trying everything in her power to get me back to the church. I never thought she would sink that low though. Gotta love her quick thinking and tying it all back to a sign.

So anyway, I was all freaked out when I came home today. If that candle was lit again, I would have gotten the hell outta dodge. It was not lit, but the freaking Christmas tree scared the living shit out of me. A seven foot tall blur in the middle of a dark room made me want to scream like a seven year old girl.

Sooo... again. If you are the one who lit the candle, seriously fess up. It's all fun and games until the Mexican can't get any sleep because of the stupid saint candle. Don't make me change the locks.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

I have a secret to tell...

(Looking around to make sure my neighbors don't hear my typing and figure out what I'm about to say)

I almost burned down my apartment today. The key word there is ALMOST. I came home today (9:00 PMish) and found my Saint candle burning. Kind of obvious with all the lights out in my place. There was this big glow from the candle. I thought I put it out last night, but low and behold there it was burning. Maybe it's holy and it lit itself.

Doubtful... I think I left it burning all last night and throughout the day. Well, my wax evaporation problem seems to have cleared itself. This reminded me that I need to get renter's insurance. I can't be the only one that has almost burned down this fourplex.

Astros Update

I have held my tongue for the last few weeks, but I guess I'll add my two cents regarding the Astros lately. I can't believe we won't have Pettitte next year. With all we have done to improve the offense, he still left. Why wasn't one year good enough?

DO YOU HEAR ME PETTITTE? You had to go asking for another year option. Well, I guess we'll just have to make due with Jennings. No person is that important. We can all be replaced faster than we think. I am a sad to see Taveras go. His speed may come back to bite us in the ass at some point.

Sooo... The other big question is Clemens. Will he go or will he stay? He's going to play another short season that's for sure. But where? I hope you doesn't stay as Pettitte's bitch and follow him to New York. If he doesn't play with us, then go to Boston. Anywhere but New York. Now I hate both New York teams.

YA HEAR THAT BELTRAN??? I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU...

Hey Jude...

I was passing through HEB today and well... I just had to do it. I bought one of those Mexican saint candles. Mine is St. Jude. Lovely selection they had in stock. I could have picked up the Virgin Mary, St. Michael, Jesus, or Saint Antonio as well. Do you know why I picked St. Jude?

I liked the green candle. It wasn't the prayer on the back. It wasn't who I was going to pray to. It was the color. As I was looking at this candle, the women behind me said, "I wish they would make one for bad hair cuts."

I chucked and went about my business. Then it hit me. Wash she talking about my haircut? Did my hair look that messed up that I needed a prayer candle to fix? Damn, that would be cold as ice. I assumed she had a bad hair experience and perhaps that would help her in the future. Yeah... that's it. It wasn't about me, but her instead. Well just go with that.

Anyway, I paid my $1.07 for the candle and brought it home. I was so excited to light it up. Why was I so excited? I really don't know, but I was. I lit the candle and let it do it's thing. After about 10 minutes, the candle started to put itself out. Apparently, the wax does not evaporate very well, so the flame is being smothered under all this melted wax. Stupid dollar saint candle.

I guess you get what you pay for. I think I'll scrape out some of the wax tomorrow and see if I can salvage the candle. Why the hell do I have such a fixation with this stupid saint candle?

NatGeo Porn

Kids don't even know how easy they have it now a days. I remember when I was a kid, I used to long for National Geographic porn. Man, when they had those tribal issues, I would lock myself in the bathroom for days. They just don't make good NatGeo porn like they used to.

With the emergence of Internet porn and easy access to soft porn on TV, they don't have to work so hard to see "boobies". If they have premium channels, forget about it. And don't even get me started at full feature sex. I remember how hard it was to get access to a Hustler magazine. Out of all of us, only one of our fathers had a collection of Hustler magazines. He was our "best friend" from that point forward.

I don't know why that popped into my head all of a sudden. Must have been all the Internet porn I have been surfing the last few hours. Seriously, Internet porn just doesn't do it for me. I guess I miss the jungle boobies of old. I wonder if anyone has scanned those old pictures and placed them out on the Internet. Hhhmmm...

I'm so glad, I have a daughter instead of a son. I can only imagine all of the trouble he'd be getting into by now. At my daughter's age... oh my lord. I don't even want to think about it. I feel so sorry for what I put my parents through at that age.

Update on New Year's List

I thought about checkiing in on my New Year's resolution list from last year to see how I was doing. Amazingly, I have completed all of the resolutions.

(Awkward Silence)

Okay, okay... I'm full of bullshit. I haven't completed one item on my list. I have almost completed the book resolution, but nothing else. Of course I can rush and try to complete some of the items, but that's not really the point of the list. Now is it? So, now I remember why I never do these resolutions.

I'm not going to sweat it. I think the next list will be smaller and easier to accomplish. I'm such a bum some times. Most of the time. Okay, okay... all the time. I've become such homebody lately, it's pathetic.

"Do you believe in Destiny?"

My Hero

I have found a new hero.



Classic = "I teach logic motherfucker"

Traditions

Now that I am older, I have realized that my family created all sort of traditions. At the time, I never knew that my parents were passing on a tradition their family passed on to them. Looking back now, it is very apparent. I try to provide this same torch passing tradition with my daughter. It's a little more complicated with my daughter though.

My ex-wife has a different cultural background than I do. Her current husband has a very similar background as my ex-wife, so they have similar traditions. This creates some conflict at times because I want my daughter to experience my traditions. Well, I'm sure her mother would like her to follow her traditions.

I read a book last year that explained how young women were strongly influenced by their fathers. Since she is with her mother more than me, I can only hope some of that influence is stuck within my daughter's subconscious. I like to think that I have a positive influence on her life. After all, she did get my intelligence and good looks (typing while looking at myself in the mirror). Damn I look good... where was I?

Oh yeah, my influence. Seriously, my daughter has this wonderful opportunity to experience both sides of her heritage and pick the best of both worlds. That is a rare experience I hope she takes advantage of and make the most of it.

I don't know where all of this came from all of a sudden. The thought just popped into my head. We are going Christmas tree shopping tomorrow. We started a new tradition this year to pick an ornament together and put it on the tree. Every year, we are going to pick an ornament out together (or make an ornament) and put it on the tree. Over the years, the tree will be filled with dozens of ornaments that we picked together. If she ever has children (who am I kidding. she's has mexican heritage in her. she's going to have kids sooner or later), she can show them the ornaments that we have collected over the years. That seems like a really good memory to have when she is older. Being a parent really does change my outlook on the holidays. It's not about the gifts or the time off, but about friends and family.

Cursive

You know, I haven't written in complete cursive since elementary school. I write in this pseudo style writing between printing and cursive. Ever since I took that damn drafting class in college, I have a tendency to print a lot more now. And my letter are this medium all cap style. They are not large, nor are they small.

I bet if I had to write out the alphabet in cursive, I probably couldn't do all the capital letters. The letter Q, it's like the number two. Isn't it?

I type more than I write now a days. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the demise of cursive in my life. Maybe I should go out and get a big chief pad to practice my cursive. Oh screw it. If I need something in cursive, I'll just use the cursive font in my computer and print it out.

Farewell good friend

It's official. My spelling is so bad, I broke the spell check feature for this site. Everytime I try to use it, I get some sort of error. It worked once. It was so pretty. Apparently, it bolds the words that it thinks are mispelled. I get some "type error" error (redundant, ain't it?) and it bombs out on me.

Alas, spell check, you were a good friend of mine. I will miss you.

Of course, this gives me the excuse to have mispelt words on this site. Don't it? And I be noing no grammer either.

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a tree

Am I the only person to listen to the same song over and over again. Sometimes (well most of the time), I have the same song set to repeat and just let it loop over and over while I'm focusing on something else. At work, at home, I do it all the time. Everytime I explain this to someone, I always get the same stupid look. That is... I get this look like "your stupid" on their face. There must be others out there like me.

Don't get me wrong. I do listen to all kinds of music and mix it up quite frequently. But it is a little ironic that I have an iPod shuffle but never listen to it in shuffle mode. In fact, sometimes I only put one song on it because you can not repeat just one song. Weird, isn't it?

I don't know when I started doing this. It started around the time I got into computers. I think it helps me focus on the task at hand. So what's my current song playing in my head. "Boom Boom Ba" by Metisse. I actually caught this song from the show "Dead Like Me". Can't get it out of my head. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I keep playing the damn thing over and over.

Boogerquette

What is the proper etiquette regarding the woman cutting your hair if she has this humongous booger hanging out of her nose? I mean, I really don't know this woman. She is not one of the usual hair stylist that cut my hair. And for god's sake there is this huge fucking mirror right in front of her. In fact, there are huge mirrors all over the place. Could she really not know it was there? I find it hard to believe. And she was one of those hard breathers. I could hear her breathe through her nose the whole time. I was afraid the thing would go flying and get stuck somewhere in my hair. Kinda like chewing gum. Eeewwww....

I made damn sure the thing was still in her nose before I left that chair. So, once again, should I have said something? I guess I should also mention that they were closing in ten minutes. I just wanted to get my hair cut quickly and get the hell out of there. I was also afraid that I might embarrass her or piss her off. I don't need any plugs in my head right before Christmas. Ya feel me?

Turn your lights on

Okay. I can't sleep, but I have some caffeine in my system so my thoughts are actually making more sense now. I had to get this memory down in writing before I forget what happened.

I was staying over at my parents house with my sister for the last four nights while my parents were out of town. My sister is old enough to probably stay by herself, but she is also old enough to have boys over. Hence my need to stay there. Nothing like a human chastity belt that will beat the living shit out of any boy that arrives. Anyway, I digress...

I have mentioned many times about "weird" things that have happened in my past. Well, I have always had a nasty feeling whenever I would stay at my parents house by myself. You get this feeling like your being watched over there. Especially upstairs. So the first night I stayed there, my sister goes to bed upstairs and I stayed downstairs using my laptop in their kitchen area. Around 1:00 AM, I turn out the lights and head to the living room. I turned off all the lights and watched a little TV. Well, I feel asleep on the sofa and woke up a few hours later so I turned off the TV and went back to sleep. Around 6:00 AM, I noticed that the kitchen light was on and I thought my sister was getting ready for school. I ignored the light and went back to sleep. Around 6:30, my sister comes down and starts to make breakfast. I get up and start to get ready for work. She leaves for school and I leave for work. Later that night we were talking and we realized that neither of us turned on the kitchen light. She thought I left it on from the night before and I thought she had turned it on in the morning. It freaked both of us out a little bit. I decided that I would just file it away and not think about it.

Then there was the incident this morning. I was asleep on the sofa downstairs again when I heard this loud crash. Low and behold it occurred at 6:00 AM this morning. I freaked out trying to figure out what the noise was. I thought maybe a transformer blew, but we still had power. I went up stairs and realized that a table upstairs had fallen over and I heard the crash. It was hella loud. The hair was standing on my neck and arms, but I just told myself the cat knocked over the table. I put the table back and went downstairs again. I couldn't go back to sleep after that. The strange thing was that my sister did not hear the table fall. The table feel about eight feet from her door, but she said she didn't hear anything. My only reasoning that it could have been the cat was that the cat was laying at the bottom of the stairs and refused to go upstairs. I sure hope it knocked the table over. It's kind of weird that they both occurred around 6:00 AM though. Had my sister not been upstairs, I would have gotten the hell out of there right after that happened. But noooo, the protective brother instinct kicked in and I had to go investigate the cause of the noise. That's how they always get killed in the movies. "Let's go figure out what caused that noise." SLASH... Next scene, they are laying on the floor with their throat cut open.

I hate sleeping over there. Isn't funny how people will just tell themselves that it was caused by something else or just ignore the incident all together. I know there have been other incidents there, but they just ignore them.

And for those who were wondering why I slept on the couch instead of my parent's bed. Uummm... Hello... It's my parent's bed. Lord knows what goes on in that bed, but I sure as hell don't want to sleep on that bed. Oh god... now I need to go sniff some Draino to get these thoughts out of my head. Eeewwww....

Enter your own title here

Sometimes I sit here and just stare at the blank page. Well, Its not really blank. But the section to add a new post is blank. I have so much to say during the day. But when I finally sit down to enter my thoughts, my mind goes completely blank. What is up with that?

I recently finished the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The most useful piece of information provided by the book dealt with writer's block. The author explains that this is caused by an overload of tasks when trying to write. Break down what you are trying to say and then worry about what order to put down that information later. So here I am trying to remember what I wanted to say and I can't even do that. "I like to eat paste" That's how I feel at times like this. Short-bus idiot for sure.

I'm probably making it sound like I have some earth shattering ideas to share with the world, but I'm afraid they were never that good. It was probably something dorky and I found it amusing. Isn't it funny how you can grow up in a pretty nasty neighborhood, yet it couldn't take the dorkiness out of me. Kinda proud of that fact at times. Perhaps I shouldn't be sharing this much information about myself. I think this is what makes me dangerous at times. I know that no matter how fucked up an individual is, there is always some dorky side to them they don't show. I've seen it too many times to not accept it.

It reminds me of the character that "The Rock" played on the movie Be Cool. He was this tough looking guy on the outside, but he definitely had his share of internal issues. And Vince Vaughn... He should have won an award for that character. "Twinkle, Twinkle Baby."

See, this is what happens when I don't remember what I was going to say. Damn rambling man. I have so much information floating around my gray (grey for the English folks out there) matter, but I can't find any way to organize all of the information. It's kind of like I'm hold all of these Trivial Pursuit cards in my head but the answers don't match the questions. It is really kind of scary when I think about it.

What is the square root of nine? Blue
Who won the Academy award for best actor in 1990? Cheddar Cheese
What is the capital of Wisconsin? Babe Ruth

See what I mean? Well, it's not that bad, but it does start to get pretty mixed up as the day goes on. Maybe I've burned out all my neurons with the caffeine that I drink or perhaps I partied to hard in the past and now I'm paying the price. Oh well. It was worth it for the partying and there is no way in Hell I'm giving up my caffeine.

Yo Bro

It's amazing what you can learn just by talking to your siblings. I have spent the last few days with my sister while my parent's are out of town. Its kind of weird for me because I did not grow up with them. I was so much older than my two sisters, so I as more of a parent than a brother. Anyway, I am trying to do the whole "brother" thing, but be cool about it at the same time.

I want to be the brother they can come to whenever they have a problem. I've seen things like that in movies and always thought that would be pretty cool. I guess I'll have to wait and see if I am the cool brother or the dork brother to them.

Back to Normal again

Yes, this is much better. I think I'm actually getting back to my old self again. At least when it comes to my sleep pattern. I had a really bad cough a couple of weeks ago, so the doctor gave me some good drugs. The cough medicene had codine in it, so it was supposed to knock me out. Well, I guess I was really bad off because it didn't work for the first few days. Then my cough started to subside and the medicene started to do it's thing.

Which really sucked... I would fall asleep around 9:30 or 10:00 every night. Then I wouldn't wake up until 7:30 in the morning and felt groggy as hell. What the fuck??? Nine and a half hours of sleep. It was really messing up my internal clock.

Hah, look at me now mister medicene. I'm up well past midnight and don't feel any ounce of sleepiness in my body. I still get up around 7:30, but now I feel better because I'm going to be much later. Its just how I roll. (No matter how I say that in my head, it just doesn't sound cool out loud for some reason)

Who knows, maybe I'll pull an all-nighter just for the hell of it. You think I'm zigging, but all along I'm really zagging. Shit, maybe I am more tired than I realize because I'm not making much sense right now.

Sharing crap and all that jazz

I guess since I haven't really posted much lately and I definitely haven't posted anything of substance within the last few months, its time to look deep within this black heart of mine and share some information about me. I was told a while back that I do not share enough information about myself. That is true. I tend to keep my life pretty private. I have an issue with trust and only let a few people know the real me. So, here is a small baby step to change that aspect of me.

I don't grieve very well. Actually, I hardly grieve at all. I have lost both of my grandfathers to cancer, but I never cried about it. I have lost pets as a child, but I never let it affect me. I went through a freakin divorce and didn't feel any grief (lots of anger for sure, but no grief).

The closest thing to grief I have felt is when my daughter was a little girl during the separation from my ex-wife. My daughter was four years old and it killed me when she would cry for me when her mother would come to pick her up. She didn't understand why she couldn't stay with me. She was always a daddy's little girl and seeing the tears in her eyes really tore me up. But I didn't let it show. I have only told a few people about how I felt when that happened. By few, I mean like two (at most). It still gets me to this day just thinking about those moments and I can still see her face crying when I close my eyes sometimes.

I guess all of it stems from the fact that I felt the need to be strong for my family. Damn Mexican heritage. I was always told as a child that men don't cry and men were tough. All that does is eat you up from the inside out.

I don't know why I chose to share this with the world, but I do know what triggered these thoughts. There is a very nice lady that works in our cafeteria at work. She just had a baby a couple of years ago and I would talk to her every day when I went down to get my coffee fix. She was in a car accident this weekend and ended up paralyzed from the neck down. That sucks big time.

I can't understand how life works. The people that dont' deserve these kind of things are hurt all the time. Meanwhile, the scumbags of the earth are never dealt this kind of bad hand.

Whole Month

I definitely post to this site in some sort of cyclic fashion. I can't believe its been a whole month since my last post. I guess I really lost track of time lately. I had a really bad case of flu the past few weeks, but that should not be any excuse. After all, I was home the last couple of weeks. I can't explain it. I just accept it and move on with my life.

That alone is a huge change from my previous personality. I would dwell on those small things for a long, long time and drive myself crazy. I would over analyze EVERYTHING. I always thought it was just my personality and it couldn't change.

I was but a mere child then (year ago). I have learned since then that nothing is static in life and everything is always changing. I think that was part of my problem in the past. I would try so hard to keep everything the same. Its like trying to push all the sand back up the hour glass. No way I could do it, but I would try my hardest. Then when I would fail (obviously I would fail), I would take it really hard and consider myself a failure. I was such a shmuck when I look back on myself.

I know that physically there is not much difference between a year ago and now, but emotionally I'm a whole different person. After all, once you hit 30, forget about it. I'm older than dirt. At least that's how I feel. And 40... oh gawd please tell me it gets better.

Its funny because what do you really have to look forward to after 25? The only age goal left is social security. Fuck me that's forty years later. Let's see... 18 - get to vote, 21 - get to drink, 25 - can rent convertibles... yep big gap here... 65 - eat cat food with my social security checks.

Screw that! I blowing my social security on booze. Let's see... cat food or booze. Hhmmm... I think I'll grab some Mad Dog and Strawberry Hill. Can't beat a good bottle of $2.99 wine.

Move over google

Goodbye google search hello Ms. Dewey.

Well, not really because she does get rather annoying after some time and the search is dog slow. I must admit it's more interesting than looking at a static page though.

N Dey Say

I used to think that life had a plan for me
until I realized life had to be planned by me
see that's the key I only deal with what I can see
cuz over history, mystery brought us nothin but misery

-Nelly

Stressful situations

I have under a lot of stress lately at work. This is not uncommon in my environment. Being under stress doesn't bother me, but how I reacted to it did bother me. I found myself snapping at my coworker more than usual today. I realized my bad attitude and adjusted it rather quickly. I am just upset that it slipped out in the first place.

I have worked really hard to not let things like this affect my attitude. I thought that I had it under control, but it slipped out today. My pride got the better of me today. I did not like not knowing the answer to a problem and my coworker found a solution to the problem. Why did that bother me so much? It's impossible for me to know everything. In fact, he is just as knowledgeable in computers as me.

But it bothered me... really bad. I had to step back several times and re-think my behavior. We are both under a lot of pressure lately and I can imagine it will only get worse in the next few weeks during this adjustment period. I think I will have to seriously look at myself more closely. It's time for a behavior analysis.

Can't sleep knowing the Chupacabra is out there...

Strep sneak attack

Wow. Looking back, I just realized that I have not posted anything here in almost a week. I've been extremely busy at work lately and I have been trying my hardest to fight this damn sickness that is plaguing our city.

I know so many people who have caught strep and it appears to have hit my work area. I've been trying to avoid it, but I had a sore throat this afternoon. I feel exhausted and instantly took Airborne. I think that stuff was made by the gods. It works so well. Words can not describe the effectiveness of that stuff.

Anyway, I'm trying to build up some strength (come on white blood cells, do your thing) and not let it get worse. I don't think I have strep (knocking on wood with all extremities crossed). I should have the fever by now.

I can afford to get sick right now. I will go down fighting this stupid sickness.

Done deal

I've had this wild hair up my ass the past few months and wanted something different with my hair. Not much I can do with it, so I decided to let it grow out. I was after that whole 70's look that seems to be in style right now. I can say the experiment was a success, but the result was a failure. It looked like shit. It probably didn't look that bad, but it didn't look the way I wanted it to look. I was frustrated with it every morning for the past three months.

Today was the day. I cut it all off again. Well, not ALL off. I went back to the hair style that seems to work for me. I realized from this experiment that some people just can't do long hair. I look better with short hair and that's that.

You know it's bad when the hair stylist tells you, "Some people just look better with short hair, ya know?" Sometimes I wish I was double jointed. It would make pulling the knife out of your back so much easier.

I really didn't care what others thought of my hair. I've had a couple of co-workers tell me to my face that my long hair is just ugly. Damn, you gotta respect their honesty. Especially when I didn't ask for their honesty. Well, I know who to ask now whenever I want the truth.

So... I'm back to short hair. Of course, I am still after that change. My next thought... shave it all off. Or dye it some color. I'll stick to this style for a few months and see how I feel.

Techno burnout

I've heard tails of people experiencing techno burnout. They worked in IT for a while and then suddenly just quit. Move off to New England and become whale fisherman. Or others that go off to become lumberjacks. The point is... they go off and do non-technical jobs.

I always thought that I would never be one of those people. I love technology way too much to just give it all up and walk away. My mom used to always tell me "never say never".

I think she was right. I'm starting to feel this burn out sensation and wonder what is it all for? I use some sort of technology daily, but I do think I could give it all up and just walk away from it all.

Perhaps, I just need a vacation. It's been a while and work has been extremely hectic lately. I need to just get away for a weekend or so and go camping. Back to nature and all. My next few weekends look booked, but early November seems free. I need to just pick a date and not give in to all my other demands.

Opa!!

I experienced my first Greek Festival this weekend. I spent last night drinking wine, eating gyros, and watching Greek dancing. It was fun and I'm definitely going again next year. It was crowded as hell, but we still managed to find a place to eat and actually had some good seats to watch the dancing. Some of the people that got up to dance were pretty funny.

I think next year I'm going to have to go up there and dance. I would probably need more wine though.

My IQ is dropping as fast as Bush's approval rating

I looked over some of my old posts and realized that I am really having a hard time with "throw" and "threw" lately. I keep wanted to type "through". It's kind of weird because I quickly proof read the post before submitting it, but those words still slip through (made myself self conscious now and had to check that last word a couple of times).

I feel as if my grammer is somehow getting even worse as I am growing older. It's as if my lack of classes and schooling lately has made me out of shape mentally. It's been six years since I graduated from college. I think I should start looking into graduate school now. It just feels wrong to not be studying late into the night and cramming for exams.

My last ex was in school during our relationship so I would help her all the time with her work or studying. It's been a while now and I think I'm having education withdrawls.

Good Lord help me. I'm getting more stupid by the moment.

Another member of the "I hate Daniel" club

Okay, so I mentioned yesterday about me and the old lady going at it. I really don't know if she's 90, but I know she is older than dirt. In fact, I think she is just a bunch of ash held together by death itself. The day the lady and I had it out was actually for a similar reason as the guy yesterday (must be me).

This old lady lives at the other end of my street. She would walk her dog every day and this dog was just as old as she was. This dog would get tired by the time they got to the end of the street and she would carry the dog back to her apartment. Anyway, one day she stopped walking the dog. I assume it was time for the dog to "head for the light Carol Anne". I think this made her more bitter (assumptions here. I love making an ass out of u and mptions).

One day I was walking my dog and I was wearing head phones. As I was walking, I see her walking toward me waving frantically. I thought, "Wow. This nice old lady is waving at me." (Sadly, I really did think this at the time) I took off my headphones to talk to her and she started yelling at me.

Daughter of Death: "Don't ignore me!"
Me: "What?"
Dod: "I was trying to talk to you but you kept ignoring me."
Dod: "I don't want you to walk your dog around here. You keep leaving her poop in the grass and I keep stepping in it."
Me: "Did you see me leave any poop in the grass? I pick up after my dog."
Dod: "I don't care! I don't want you to let her use the bathroom in the grass."
Me: "I don't give a damn what you want. Unless, you see me leaving her shit in the grass, don't accuse me of doing it."
Dod: "I won't tell you again, quit walking her in our yard." (She turns around and starts to walk back inside)
Me: "Shut the fuck up. I'll walk her where I want to walk her."

I continue walking her in the yard and had the "I dare you to come back outside" stare on my face. The problem is that her neighbors let their dogs out and they shit in the grass, then they go back inside. She is not stupid. She knows this, everyone on the street sees it happening. She is just looking for someone to blame. She rents an apartment just like everyone else, so it's not like this is her house or something.

I know I didn't have to act the way I did, but that is my trigger. When people think they can talk to me like they've known me for years. I ain't your bitch... don't talk to me like that.

Anyway, she hasn't talked to me since then. I've accomplished my goal and sent her on her way. I think the biggest part of the problem is the area I live in. It is mostly made up of spoiled people. They are probably used to Mexicans being the yard guys or help staff, so they can talk to them however they want. Well, I'm showing them the other side of the Mexican. The mother fucker that will stab you in the back as you walk away. I'm tired of trying to blend in with this crowd around here. Either talk to me with respect or don't talk to me at all.

I try to be nice

I try to be nice most of the time. I really do, but sometimes people give me reason to just go off. Today was one of those days. There are certain people in this world that think they can say whatever they want to anyone. I call them assholes. You don't know me bitch. Don't think you can just talk to me like that. I also call men bitches when they act like that.

I was walking my dog around the apartments at the end of the block when this guy stops his cell phone conversation and demands. "Don't let your dog shit around here." Oh I know you didn't. There was a very heated exchange. The end of the conversation went like this:

Me: "Do you own this property?"
Asshole: "No, but I do live here."
Me: "I don't give a fuck if you live here, do you own this property?" (Me tensing up ready to swing Zoey's dog leash around his neck)
Asshole: "No"
Me: "Then don't fucking talk to me like you own this property."
Asshole: "OK"

That threw me for a loop. He just stops the conversation and starts talking on his cell phone again. I was speechless after that. I just let my dog circle around the grass. I was just hoping she would take a big old dump in front of his face. He would just stare me down and I was just staring him down. All the while letting my dog walk all over the grass.

It was definitely a teritorial thing with me. Don't try to be an Alpha male with me because I will smack your ass down. Where I come from you go down swinging. I may not win every fight, but I never back down from one if you try to punk me. I continued walking down the street and made sure I turned back around and walked her right in front of him again. All the while I just stared at him. He didn't say a word to me again after that. Why do people make me get so ugly at times?

The funny thing is, if he had just asked me nicely I would have explained that I pick up after my dog. I have bags that are attached to her leash for those very moments. I understand what it's like to walk in dog shit, so I pick up after her. I'm sure it would have been a much nicer conversation. But noooo... I guess I have one more enemy on the block. I can add this one to the 90 year old lady down the street. Don't even get me started with that one. I don't care if your 20 or 90, I'll curse you out just the same.

Delta

I watched this movie tonight called "Committed" with Heather Graham and Luke Wilson. I thought it was pretty good. She kind of reminded me of my type of personality. Now that I think about it, I don't know if that's a good thing.

Anyway, there was this line in the move when she says, "It feels like I'm telling a joke, but no one is laughing. I keep telling the joke though because I like the joke."

That's kind of how I feel my life is right now. Sometimes it feels like no one understands my life. I have worked very hard to discover myself the past year. This self discovery stuff is all new to me. I spent almost all of my life worrying about other people and their feelings. It is much harder worrying about my own feelings first, but also worrying about the feelings of others. Deep down inside I kind of feel like an asshole if I don't consider the feelings of others. The only problem is not letting those feelings override my own feelings.

I was talking to a friend today when I mentioned that I feel this deep need for change. What kind of change, I'm not sure. But I have been trying to figure it out for a while now. I kept chasing this feeling. But every time I thought I got close to the answer, it would feel even further away. I realized today that I just need to live my life and it quit chasing this feeling. When it's ready to show itself, it will come to me.

Damn rambling again... that's one aspect of me that never seems to go away.

So long and thanks for all the fish

Well, I guess it just wouldn't be right for me to not comment on the Astros. They gave it a good run until the end. They basically beat themselves yesterday. I tried my best to give them as much juju as possible, but nothing worked. I wore all three of my Astros caps (inside and out). Nothing. I stood up through the innings. Nothing. I sat down through the innings. Nothing. I then realized that this was not our destiny this year. Like how I used "our" like I was playing on the field with them?

So, with that said. I would like to thank the Astros for giving us a good last couple of weeks and see ya again next year. And what's with all this steroid talk lately? Come on... give them a break. They just realized that they are not going to be playing in the post season this year.

I will still proudly wear my Astros jersey and caps for I am a loyal fan. Win or lose... they are my team.

Daniel 1 Spider 0

I was driving home from work today when something caught my eye. I glance over to the passenger side and there is this HUGE wolf spider staring right back at me. He was on the passenger door and just froze. This thing was huge (his body was around 1/2 an inch and his legs spread out made him look even bigger). I just turned right at a stop light and pulled into the next available street.

"Oh it's on mister spider. You can attack me at my home, you can attack me at work, but I'll be damned if you try to invade my car space."

"????" Spiders don't talk, so he just kept staring at me.

I started to panic because I couldn't find anything to kill it with.
Old football ticket. Hell no... too flimsy.
CD. Nope, unless I use my ninja-foo and through it like a shirken.
Change. No... too risky. He would probably dodge the flying coins.
Napkin. Shit no. Too close to contact. His humongous fangs could puncture the napkin and hit my fingers.

But fuck, my best option was the napkin, so I ball it up to add some layers between me and those fangs. All the while he is frozen on the door just staring at me. It was a Mexican stand off... Then suddenly he starts running. Fast like fucker. He is heading for the back seat. Shit... if he makes it, I'll lose him for sure. I ain't driving home not knowing his location.

I lunge for him and he runs in the other way. Yeah bitch... you're mine now. What the... he leaps toward me.
I don't know if it's some sort of auto-reflex but I smack him out of the air and towards the floor. He's disoriented for a second so I make my move. I try to squish him but just catch his side. He's still running toward the door. I open the door and reach for him again. I miss... but he balls up at the edge of the door.

You can't play possum with me sucker. I've seen way to many hitman movies to fall for that one. One in the head for good measure. I reach down for the final blow when he falls out the door. Damn it... couldn't be sure I got him for good. I immediately close the door and speed off.

I hate spiders. I really hate spiders that have the nerve to enter my car space. How the hell did he get in? I'm tempted to buy one of those foggers and release it in my car. Fuck, I hate spiders. I just wish I got him for sure.

This is the big day

This is it... either do or die. The Astros are still 1.5 games back from St. Louis. Basically we need to win and St. Louis needs to lose. It boils down to that. If that happens, then it's out of our hands and we wait to see what happens.

My stomach is twisted in knots today. Go Astros...

No means no!!!

Gotta learn this dance step

"Woman... I told ya to stay on beat! Don't make me go pimp on you again."

Fly away little birdy

Holy Mary Fiesta candle... Where art thou?

I know this site format has changed to an Astros update page, but you'll just have to get used to it until the Astros are no longer playing. This is history in the making if we can pull this off. We are now only 1/2 games back from St. Louis with Clemens pitching tomorrow. How cool is that?

I can't seem to get the Astros off my brain lately. I've been working my ass off at work (who came up with this working for pay crap anyway?) and this is my outlet to veg out and relax. Of course, I'm nervous as hell throughout the game. But when they win, the payoff is relaxation bliss. Only three more games in the regular season.

Hell, I might even go old school Catholic on them and light a candle for them. Assuming the church would let me through the door. I don't know... maybe I'll just light one at my place and act like it's a church candle. Ooo... Ooo... I know. I'll go buy one of those Mexican Virgin Mary candles from Fiesta and light that. That's the closest thing to a holy candle within my reach.

Well worth the lack of sleep

Eight in a row. That's our winning streak today. We finally won the game in the 15th inning. Four games left. Ooohhh, you dun axed for it now..... Bring it on.

Tired but still watching

I'm exhausted, but damn it the Astros are still in extra innings. We are in the middle of the 14th inning right now and hopefully they can win this one. If they win, we will still be 1.5 games back from St. Louis.

Stupid St. Louis... why did they have to win?

Bring it to pappa

Oh yeah, baby... bring it home to daddy.

1.5 games back from St. Louis. If I had money and I were a betting man, all my money would be on the Astros. All or nothing, baby!

Just last week we were 8.5 games back from St. Louis. Look at us now. Five more games. Only five more games. They have to want it bad. Like a crack whore who needs her fix. We are a dangerous team right now because we have nothing to lose. All of the pressure is on St. Louis right now and they are buckling under their own weight.

You have to see it to believe it

I was out with a friend this past weekend and he asks, "Are you really afraid of ghosts?" It took me by surprise for a second and then I realized that he was talking about my past posts. I forget that what I put out there can actually come back into conversation in the real world. I was living in this bubble of Internet world and then real world. Not many people know of my online rants in my real world, so I forget that there are a few people who do read this site.

Anyway, took you around the world to come back to this topic. Ghosts... do I really believe in them. Hhmm... Let me think about that answer.

HELL YEAH!

I've had many "unexplained" experiences in the past and somehow I am drawn to the paranormal or occult. I watch these stupid shows all the time and one of my latest shows is called "The Haunted". It's basically a re-enactment of what someone went through in the past. You know, like haunted houses or possessions. Blah, blah, blah. It's not really caught on camera, so it's not that official. What it is though, is scary as shit. It's like watching a ghost story for an hour. And fuck me if I end up watching these stupid shows right before I go to sleep. I always do that to myself. Anywho.. off subject again. I always yell at the TV, "Get the hell out of the house. Why don't you tell someone what you just saw? You idiot." I like to talk to the TV. Makes me feel more powerful or something.

Well, tonight I watched three of them back to back. I started thinking, shit that was me. I was fixing that computer in this guys house and was supposed to be alone. He left a key for me in the back yard. I rang the door bell several times just in case, but no one was home. I let myself in and started to work on the computer. About fifteen minutes into the repair I look up and there was this woman staring at me. She was giving me this real intense look. I told her I was sorry and I didn't know anyone was home. I looked down at the computer again and started talking to her. She never responded so I looked back up. She was gone. "Fuck" I thought I pissed her off and she would tell her husband that I just let myself in while she was home. I finished the computer and called out to her that I was done. No answer. I called again. Nothing. I walked all over both the upstairs and downstairs of the house, but no one was there. Then a cold chill went down my spine. I got the hell out of there and took off so fast. I asked the guy about his wife, but she was out of town for the week. No one was supposed to be there.

I never told anyone about that incident. Not my boss, not the guy, not even my wife at the time. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. I also never went back to his house to do any of the work. I told my boss I didn't feel comfortable working in his house by myself and requested that he drop off his computer at our shop if he needed any work on it. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I started to tell a few people about that incident.

I'm just like those people. I didn't know what to think and knew that if I ever told people they would look at me like I was a freak. I guess as time passes, it's easier to tell people what happened. This is why all of those stories took place twenty or thirty years ago. Enough time passed by to let them share their experiences with the world.

And for all those skeptics out there... you can have your opinion. But when something occurs to you, don't come running to me because I'll tell you "I told you so".

So close, yet so far

We are now only 2.5 games back from St. Louis. The excitement is killing me. Six more games left. I'm really starting to like our odds.

You know it

How sweet has this weekend been? The Astros swept the Cardinals and we are now only 3.5 games back. We have seven games remaining of the season. Time for us die hard fans to step up and cheer on the Astros.

So many people wrote them off a couple of weeks ago. Houston is funny like that. We have so many fair weathered fans in this town. When the teams are going good, oh everyone is a fan. But when the teams are not doing good, then they just dump them.

I have faith in my team and will never dump them like that. Come on Astros, you can make the playoffs again this year.

Trust your instinct

You know, I have to trust my instincts more often. I think they are there for a reason and sometimes you just need to stick to your guns and not back down.

I had this problem a long time ago with an ex-girlfriend stalking me. Seriously stalking me... She tried to convince my roommates at the time that I wanted her to come over and let her stay in my room while I was away. Fortunately for me, my roommate had enough sense to not let her in. I freaked out when he told me and told them that she was to never come inside while I was away. She also had this thing of calling between 2:00 AM - 5:00 AM several times a week.

Well, my girlfriend at the time (now ex-girlfriend) did not like her calling me at those hours. As I look back on it now, I think it was more of a insecurity issue with her and not trusting me. I would usually just ignore the calls and just delete the voicemails. It became a habit to set my phone on silent late at night and just ignore her. I figured she would just go away in time. Well, that was not good enough for her. She wanted me to change my phone number. I refused at first, but eventually gave in. She thought that I was taking my ex's side since I would not change my number. I do not like changing my ways for others.

I'm not stubborn (well actually I am, but this was not one of those times). I had that phone number for a long time and I knew it was out there with a lot of people that I have not spoken to in a while. I could not reach some of them, but I figured if they could reach me if needed. This seemed very logical to me. Logic does not go well in relationships. I have learned that the hard way.

So... you are probably wondering what the hell all of this has to do with the present. I received a call from a really good friend recently. It has been at least five years since I have talked to him. He found my number in one of his old phones and gave me a call to see if it was the same number. I lost his number a long time ago with all the phone conversions in the past few years. I recently switched phone providers and toyed with the idea of switching numbers. Start with a clean slate and all.

Well my instinct told me that I have had this number for a while, so perhaps I should keep the number the same. Just pay the damn money to switch your number over to the new provider. And now I get a call from him and we are going to start hanging out again. Catch up on old times.

I don't know. I seem to have lost my trust in myself in the past year or so. The little things like this reinforce the trust I have with my instincts.

Sweatin to the oldies

My electric bill went up 60% from last month. What the hell? I know I'm not really using that much more electricity. Whatever mister energy man... In spite of the man trying to keep me down, I've found a way to keep cool.

I've raised the thermostat pretty high and have decided to enjoy the feel of sweat. Good ol' fashioned sweat is good for the pores I hear. I strip down as much as possible and just deal with it. The only down side is when I'm on the laptop. I start to get sweaty wrists and hands and it totally feels wrong to be sweating on an expensive machine.

I have a feeling my neighbors are like the "Friends" group looking out their window.
"Oh look, it's the naked guy typing on the laptop again."
"Good for you naked guy."

Of course I'm not really naked... you do believe me don't you?

Future vision

Alone I sit in silence
Watching people walk by
I sip my beer and enjoy the cool breeze
I listen to this older guy do his drunk dialing
I let out a chuckle because he is drunk as hell
I stop drinking my beer because I don't want to be like that
A few more sips and I'm right there with him

Will that be me in twenty years...
I hope not. Lord please no. I feel this overwhelming sadness for him.

Art in Houston

I was on my way to work one day, when I saw this guy touching up these pieces he created. I would pass by these murals every day and decided to take a picture before the buildings are either torn down or his work is destroyed. I thought they were cool and really impressed considered he used spray paints to create these murals.

Never underestimate its power

Matamoscas = Spanish for fly swatter.

Growing up my grandmother taught me the power of the fly swatter. Only she would shorten it to "moscas". Whenever she would see anything flying in her house, she would have me get the mighty weapon.

"Mijo, go get me my moscas."

Then with one mighty swat, the object would disintegrate before my eyes. She could kill anything that flies with her moscas. I think she could even slay a flying dragon with that thing. She also taught me the valuable lesson of the moscas. I used to stay with her for a few weeks during the summers. Whenever I would do something bad, she would swat me with the moscas. Damn it used to sting like a mother bitch. It would then leave these tiny little square welts on my leg. Those were the days when punishment was really PUNISHMENT. And it can't be any 'ol fly swatter. No, the Mexican moscas must be the plastic squared fly swatter with the metal handle. It looked like a straightened out metal hanger with some plastic on the end.

As I got older, she taught me her method of swatting. "It's all in the wrists." You flick it just right with the wrists and you achieve maximum velocity. Okay, I made up that last part, but she did show me that the wrist action was the most important part of the slaying technique.

I recently had a bad wasp problem in my back porch last month and went out to buy some wasp spray. I sprayed those damn wasps several times with two different kinds of spray. They would just shake it off and laugh at me. Then they would do a fly by and watch me scramble inside the house. I could have sworn I heard them snickering at me as they flew by. I finally got tired of their shit and went out to by my own moscas. You can only push a man so far before he starts pushing back.

Needless to say, I have a wasp problem no more. I brought this up today because a fly flew into my house after I finished walking my dog. I wanted to kill it before she saw it but it was too late. You see, I have a very neurotic dog. She has this thing about flying insects in the house. I don't know what happened in the past. But ever since I've known her, she is deathly afraid of flying bugs. Damn it, now she will stay RIGHT by my side the whole night long. And I don't me next to me, nooo... I mean lean on your leg like she has no legs right next to me. I have to keep pushing her off and she just sneaks right back.

Anyway, you can see my dilemma. Should I use the moscas on her? That would keep her off of me. Hhmmm....

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't use it on her. You can not abuse the power of the moscas. You fellow Mexicans know what I'm talking about... I can't be the only one that has been old school disciplined.

Best Movie Line Ever

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

I'm a retard

Okay, so here I am typing this up at 3:00 AM in a deserted office. Just me and one other guy. He's in our data center though, so it's just me out here. The office is dark because they turn off all the lights except every 12th light (Believe me, I've counted them). So it's really dark in the corners. This would not be so bad EXCEPT...

I fucking watched this ghost show this afternoon before coming to work. It was about this haunted bar that had dark hallways just like this. The ghost would fuck with people as they walked down this long dark corridor. Fuck me, I had to pick that show to watch before coming to work tonight. I keep hearing creaks and noises. I tell myself it's just the old building, but damn it. I'm ready to haul ass out of here. Then your mind starts playing tricks and I feel like someone is watching me.

Why, oh why did I choose this career? I hate it when I have to come in to the office late at night, but it's even worse when your by yourself. FUCK... I keep hearing these noises down the hall. The only thing going for me is that I'm Mexican. You never see a Mexican checking out the creepy noises in horror movies. Fuck that! I'm waiting here till something comes close and then I'm hauling ass out of here. I don't have to out run the ghost, I just have to outrun the data center guy. Let the ghost get him and give me more time to get the hell out of here.

You are our last hope

I feel like Princess Leia telling Obi-Wan Kenobi that he is her last hope when I talk about the Astros. I wore my Astros jersey today to show my pride for the Astros. I feel as if I'm one of the few die hard fans in this city. Since leaving the parking garage and entering the building, I already had two comments. I have a feeling this jersey is going to be a conversation starter today. The security guard stopped me on the way in and I was ready to yell, "I didn't do it!". He only asked, "Are you REALLY an Astros fan, a true die hard fan?". My response, "Of course!"

I will not give up on the Astros until they are mathematically eliminated. We have pulled off some impossible feats the last two years and this year is no different.

Shut ya trap

I was out walking Zoey (my dog) a few minutes ago. I know, I know... all that shit I just posted about my dog, but damn her cute looks. I somehow still love that pain in the ass. So, I felt bad and took her back out. Now don't get me wrong, I still want that cattle prod. A little shock in the ass never hurt anyone every now and then.

Anyways, I digress. The point of this post is to talk about what occurred while I was walking her. There was this couple outside in a fight. Not a small fight, but an "I'll cut your ass!" type of fight. They were all in each other's face and then he jump in the car and then jump out. Then the car would speed forward in the driveway and then haul ass in reverse. Our driveways go around the units in small circles, so you could drive completely around the house if you wanted. Quite a scene I must say. When the girl saw me, just must have gotten embarrassed because she tried to get him to calm down, but that only pissed him off even more. He then jumped in the car pulled around the house and hauled major ass down the street. She ran down the middle of the street after him, but he was gone. Damn that brought back some memories....

I remember those nasty fights in some of my past relationships. I definitely did my part in those fights, but I really picked girlfriends that were equally crazy. Seriously, like stab you in the eye with a paperclip crazy. It's not fun thinking about those past situations, but it is kind of enjoyable watching them as an outside participant. I have no idea who these people are or why they are fighting. Therefore, I have no emotional attachment to either one of them. I can't pick sides so I'm completely neutral. Of course, my brain is pretty fucked up. So I make up a story in my mind and play it out while they are fighting.

"Damn it Ricardo, I told you it wasn't like that!"
"Fuck you, Scarlett. I know what I saw. I'm getting out of here."
Car pulls forward
"Wait, Ricardo. I don't want you to go. I need to tell you something. I'm having your baby."
Car reverses
"Ricardo, I think that guy can here us fighting. Let's take this inside."
"So now you worry what other people think of us Scarlett? You didn't care what I thought when you screwed my brother!"
"I didn't mean to, it was an accident"
"Accident my ass. I'm out of here. Besides, I ain't your baby's daddy. My brother is."
He drives off down the street
"Ricardo... Nooooo...."
She runs after him, but it's too late. Her whorish ways have ruined yet another relationship.

Okay, it's probably a little overdramatic and completely made up. I also made her a whore. Yeah, I know I still have some issues with some of my past relationships. It's a part of me and I'll have to work through them in time. It's funny how karma comes and kicks your ass at times. The ones I trusted were the whores and the ones that I was skeptical of, were actually wonderful woman that I pushed away emotionally. Knowledge is such a beautiful thing when used appropriately.

Stop it, those are not treats

My most beloved dog that I have inherited from my last relationship has developed this wonderful trick. She likes to eat stray pieces of poop from other animals. She learned this behavior somewhat recently (last year or so) and now she is going at it full force. Lord help me, I'm trying to break her of the habit.

Damn it, she's getting more sneaky about it. We are walking and she casually wanders over to a piece of grass and then BAM, she grabs a piece of shit and snarfs it down. She sees me coming and swallows it whole. As punishment, I immediately take her back home and our outing is over. She knows she is not supposed to be eating the stuff. I can see it in her eyes. If she keeps this up, she have a bladder infection for sure. But I'll be damned if I just let her keep eating the stuff.

When I was first trying to get her to break her barking indoors, I used the shock collar on her. I worked extremely well and she learned real quick the power of electricity. Now if I could only rig the collar to shock on command. Some kind of remote control. Or maybe I should just get one of those cattle prods to shock her every time she eats the shit (literally).

And all you PETA loving fools out there, kiss my brown dog-shocking ass. She is not suffering in any way. She is well feed, gets treats (besides the poop), and has a roof over her head. I have spent more on this dog than on myself at times. And especially you Miss Petsmart employee that tried to lecture me when I purchased the shock collar. If it was that bad, then quit selling the damn thing in your store.

Hippie Dan

I was definitely born in the wrong era. I should have been born in the 50's to really appreciate the 60's and 70's. I wonder how much of my hippiness is due to me finding myself or was it a result of rebellion. My parents are extremely conservative. Like Hispanic Catholic conservative. It's right up there with Italian Catholic conservative. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some bitch session about my parents. I can pay some therapist $150 an hour to bitch about my parents.

No my friends, you get the free Internet version. I was raised conservative and pretty much groomed to be this perfect catholic republican manager. Texas has this strange ability to brainwash people. If you don't believe me, then take this test.

The stars at night, are big and bright. _ _ _ _ Deep in the heart of Texas.

If you performed four claps in those blank spots above, then you've been brainwashed by Texas society. They sneak it in at an early age. How do you erase thirty years of brainwashing? Everyone I know that is not from Texas looks around and is trying to figure out what the clapping is all about.

Anyway, (damn tangent again) I was born and raised here in Texas. I have never lived anywhere else. Oh, I've moved away. But to College Station. Talk about going from the frying pan to the fire of conservatism. I was always drawn to Austin, but did not dare mention this to anyone in my family. "Only hippies live in Austin". Those are the exact words that my father utters on several occasions.

So you know what dad? I'm one of those damn hippies. Watch ya going do about it now?

I was talking to a friend last week and he is pretty conservative. Seriously, like Eric Cartman conservative. We were talking about something and he just blurts out, "Your a damn hippie". This took me by surprise. I thought about it for a few seconds and then I smiled. "Why yes. Yes I am a hippie and proud of it!" He just shook his head and didn't know what else to say.

I love flip flops, make love not war, love folk music, and now I'm trying to let my hair grow out. I should create a checklist for my full hippie transition.

Beatnik glasses - check
Dashiki shirt - check
Birkenstocks - check
Full beard (in all it's patchy glory) - check
No shower in weeks - check

Ok, I can't possibly skip the showers. I'm too much of a germ neat freak to do that last one. But I'll shorten my showers from fifteen minutes to ten minutes to symbolically represent my lack of showers. Watch out right wingers, there is one more name to add to your watch list of potential enemies of the conservative christian way.

Shift Shocked

I wear boxers. I'm a boxer kind of guy. I wear the occasional briefs when I run or on occasion the boxer briefs. I know you're probably wondering why the hell I'm posting my underwear preference on the Internet. Well, It has to do with what happened today.

I wear boxers all the time. I have these soccer shorts that I love wearing because they are the most comfortable shorts ever. So I wear my boxers with these shorts. Sometimes I look like a dork because my boxers hang longer than my shorts. I usually either A) don't care or B) pull my shorts down a little to hide the boxers. Well, the material of the shorts are lightweight and so are some of my boxers. There are times when my boxers shift under my shorts. I'm a guy. I just adjust my boxers through my shorts. I have a problem and I fix it. Think of it as a front wedgie of sorts.

I was walking my dog and felt my boxers out of whack so I started to shift it. MOTHER BITCH... I went to pull on my boxers and I grabbed some of my pubic hair with the boxers. I pulled hard as hell. I wanted to sit on the sidewalk and cry. It hurt like a mother fucker.

The worst part. Now I'm shift shocked. I just deal with any boxer shifting and don't even go near the whole pubic region. Have you ever had your pubes pulled? It's like being kicked in the balls, but reversed. And what do you do to help them not hurt so bad? I can't ice it down. I'm so screwed for the next couple of hours.

Slowing creeping farther away

I'm losing her slowly but surely. My daughter has requested that we move our traditional Father-Daughter dinner from Wednesday next week to Tuesday. I ask her why and she mentions that she wants to go to some event with her friend on Wednesdays. I don't have a problem moving our day, but I'm wondering what will be changing next. It starts out with our dinners and then I'm losing her for the summer next year. I can feel her slowly slipping away.

Friends... they're nothing buy trouble I tell ya! I know she needs them, but she needs her old man as well. She is in the seventh grade this year. God almighty... I remember that grade all to well. We were constantly getting in trouble in the seventh grade. I would sneak over to my girlfriend's house after school. Of course my parents knew nothing about the girlfriend or the sneaking. Could this be what I have to face in the following years? Do they make tracking markers to place on your child? You know, like a tag marker to clip to her ear or something.

I've caught boys checking her out this past summer when she was with me. My intense x-ray vision stare at them sent them a clear message. If one of them dares come up and talk to her in front of me, I'm stabbing his eyes out with a spork. Deep breath Daniel... Count to ten.

Mexican dads are the worst when it comes to our daughters. I thought I was different, but I'm not. Just let them come. I'm going to start carrying around my Taco Bell spork in my back pocket just in case.

Why 'o why Lord???

Note to self: Never ever buy bleeding edge again. Solving some other company's (Dell) problems for them really sucks.

Looks like it's going to be another late night while I try to find a solution for some random ass problem.

Quote of the Day

"I lost my virginity once, it hurt."

This was from a guy. Classic. Wonder what he lost it to?

Book Nerd

I'm a huge book nerd. I know it's probably one of the most uncool things to be, but it's who I am. I have no delusion of my book nerdiness. Fortunately for me, I have a Half Price Bookstore around the block from me. This allows me to get my book fix whenever needed (whenever I get the shakes and start twitching uncontrollably). Today was one of those days. I also have this need to justify my book purchases. Strange, I know. Todays justification... I am working on a Windows 2003 server, so I must have a book in my collection to help with my administration.

I head over there and I just happen to be looking through ALL of the computer books, when I hear this conversation on the other side of the partition (mind you, the books are about seven feet high, so you can't see anyone on the other side).

Girl 1: That books was so good. I couldn't help myself. I just gobbled it all up.
Girl 2: I know, I know...
Girl 1: Seriously, like I finished it two days.
Girl 2: Right... Right.... it's like brain candy!

I had to chuckle at that comment. Brain Candy. I like it! That's going to be my new catch phrase for things I really like. Computers... they're just so good. Ya know, like brain candy! Somehow it just doesn't sound the same. I think I need to say it like a 16 year old girl to have the same effect.

Newest Obsession

I have discovered that when it comes to computers, I don't like not knowing an answer. It bothers me real, real, real bad. Get the shakes kind of bad. I have no problem not knowing the answer to other every day questions, but computers are a different story. I live and breath technology (especially computers), so not having an answer to someone's question is driving me crazy. The logical side of me knows that it's impossible to know everything about computers, but the insane side of me doesn't care. "Screw the logical side... you should know this shit!" That's my inner voice. It's pretty harsh on me at times.

Oh well, I guess I'll be up all night surfing the Internet until I find my answer. The Internet knows all. It's like the Wizard of OZ. I approach slowly and never look directly into the Internet. Those that do fall into a coma and never return.

Labor Day BBQ

What is it about Labor Day that makes me want to barbecue? I fall for this feeling every year. I wonder if it's my heritage causing this feeling in me. You know how we Mexicans are... always barbecuing in the damn park every weekend. Something about sitting there with a beer in your hands while the sweet smelling of smoldering meat is slowing roasting three feet away. I love the smell of barbecued meat.

Anyway, I didn't barbecue anything today. I wanted to, but I forgot my grill and it didn't happen. So I did the next best thing. We went to Pappas and ate BBQ that someone else slaved over. It was made by the Mexicans in the back, so it was almost like I made it. We were probably related in some way (9th cousin from my mother's adopted side or something like that).

Missed it by that much

The Astros were so close today, it's almost unreal. They were so close to winning the game, but it didn't happen. That's ok, because we are finally swinging the bats well again lately. They are scoring and that's all I can ask of them. Hopefully we can take one or two games away from this series with the Mets and stay close in the Wild Card.

The game kept me going emotionally. We were up and then we were down. Then we were tied. Now we lost. I'm emotionally spent. Now it's time to zone out with some good quality Tivo.

Brighter note

I realized that the last post was kind of a downer, so I wanted to follow it with a more "happy" post.

How about them Astros. I know, I know... we are still far away from leading the wild card, but a win today sure has to help somewhat. There I was watching the game, drinking a beer, and enjoying the nice breeze outside.

God I love living within walking distance to the Village. Ah... The joy of it all.

Count those rats

Just how many rats have to start running toward the front of the ship before you realize that it's sinking and need to abadon it?

Seriously... I have seen a plethora of rats running past me, yet I'm still working there. I one of those dumb musicians playing until the very end on the Titanic.

Haunted Dreams

I had this weird ass dream this morning and I can't get it out of my head. It made me wake up from my sleep and I just couldn't go back to sleep after the dream. You ever have one of those dreams that just seems so real? I've had them before. The kind where you wake up disoriented because you think you are still dreaming. It sucks because reality and dream world are impossible to tell in those first few seconds.

Well, my dream this morning involved me living in some other city. At least I think it was another city because I was surrounded by this beautiful countryside. That could not be Houston. So I'm living in this house, see. And I have these friends telling me that my house was haunted. The weird thing is that I didn't recognize any of these people, but they felt like they were my friends. They tell me there is a little girl that haunts this certain room upstairs. So I call them idiots and think they are imagining things. Don't get me wrong. I believe in ghosts. I just don't believe whatever someone tells me. I have to witness it first hand. So I go about my business and they leave. Then I'm outside on my driveway sitting on a bench and look up. And fuck me. There is this little girl looking out the window. She is just staring straight ahead into emptiness. I call out to her. "Little girl. Over here." and she looks down at me. Her stare sends shivers down my spine. And then she starts to fade away. I keep calling out to her. For some reason I don't want her to leave. That's when I wake up and notice that I am shouting in my sleep. Extremely loud shouting. I'm sure my neighbors loved me this morning.

Weird isn't it? I wonder what it all means. And don't tell me it's me afraid of losing my daughter because she is getting older crap. I think it has a deeper meaning. Not sure what yet, but definitely deeper.

Psych

You ever have those moments when you think you may have some slight psychic ability? I have those moments some times. For example, I'm sitting in the car and just start singing a song. Low and behold, the songs plays next. Yeah, Yeah... I know. I could just be a popular song that gets a lot of airplay and it was just coincidence.

Perhaps, but have you ever played out a scene in your head and then it happened in real life? Now, that is freaky. My mind races ALL THE TIME. I'm constantly creating scenarios in my head and 99% of the time nothing comes from it. But there are a few times it actually happens.

Like five minutes ago. I was walking down this long hall and there were a couple of co-workers walking toward me. You know those long halls. It's too long to actually say something to them when you first see them without shouting like an idiot. So you just kind of stare into space and act like they are not there until you get close enough. Then you do some random greeting or small chit chat (did I just say "chit chat"?). Anyway, this happens all the time. So I go about my business and wash my cup in the breakroom and go back to my desk. Then I realize. 'Crap, I forgot the sugar'. So I get up to go back to the long hallway and thought, 'wouldn't it be funny if I saw the same people again in the hallway walking toward me'. I go back to the long hallway, and BAM! There they are. Walking right toward me AGAIN. It's like some bad version of "Groundhog Day". Internally, it kind of freaks me out, but I don't let it show. I just make some reference to stalkers and tell them to quit following me.

Isn't that weird. I can't be the only one this happens to.

70's Groove

As I've mentioned before, I am so hooked on iTunes. The music store is the work of the devil.

No really... it has to be. How else can it lure so much money from me. I go to the music store and an hour later my wallet is lighter and music magically appears on my laptop. What the hell happened in that hour?

Oh well, at least I have some groovy 70's tunes. I seem to go on different genre kicks every once in a while. I went through so many phases already (rap, R&B, folk, emo, pop, soundtracks, alternative, and now 70's). Damn, why did I have to have such a wide taste in music. Fuck... I still have country and 80's phases to get through. I may as well have my work send my pay checks straight to Apple. And my phases aren't small. Today's phase involved 102 songs alone.

Damn you Steve Jobs and your wiley music store.

On a side note. I must be getting fucking old. When did goth become emo? Was I emo in high school and didn't realize it? Am I emo today? I'm so confused... Okay, senior moment over.

Mac Rant

I've switched over to Apple products about a year ago and have never looked back. I still use Windows daily. It's such a pain though. Not that Windows is bad, it's just that I need it for only a couple of work applications. I really, really wish that Apple would add virtualization built into the OS itself. Could this be one of their surprises yet unreleased?

Why am I sharing this? Not quite sure yet.

I think it's because I've noticed myself using the laptop a lot more now than before. I live on the thing. I couldn't figure out why, but I think it's because it's such a pleasurable experience. I know I sound like some kind of used car sales guy. But there really is no better way to explain it.

If you use a Mac, then you get it. If not, well that's okay too. I'm not one of those Mac snobs that believe Apple products are a direct gift from God. I think they have a few things they could improve, but of all my options I think this is the best.

Things that make me smile

Typing on this laptop in candlelight while the rain pours down outside.

Something so soothing about the rain and the smell of a scented candle mixed together.

If I had to pick one song to describe me

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper

Letting go of the twenties

I'm officially old. No... really. I have come to realize this today.

I was trying to pretend that I was still in my twenties, but looking at the younger kids around me has reminded me that I'm old. I have learned the god awful truth that I'm stuck in the 80's and 90's. I was listening to Color Me Badd today. What the hell. You know them... I wanna sex you up. And it's not like they were playing on the radio and I was listening to them. No... I pulled out my CD, ripped them into iTunes and listened to their songs. On purpose.

I'm 32. I know that's not really old, but it's much older than 20. I have this neighbor that has the same problem. She must be in her late 30's or early 40's. She puts her hair in pigtails and wears these short shorts. Hold on... looking for the ice pick to blind myself after seeing that sight.

Anyway, she has the ankle tattoos and the official slut tat. I don't want to be like that. Being 30 is not bad. I just have to accept it and move on. I can't think about it too much or else I'll get fixated on my age. Look what I did... I shorted myself two years there. I have a hard time accepting my age. I am 32, I am 32, I am 32...

I have also realized that I don't hang around with anyone who is in their twenties any more. In fact, I'm usually the youngest person around now. Maybe this is why I feel so disconnected with the youth of today.

Header

Transformation

It's been a while since my last post. I remember this happened last year around the same time. It seems like I have less energy lately. With my daughter staying at my place for the next few weeks, I have to find an alternate form of energy. I have actually been going to bed before 11:00 PM.

Can you believe it? Before midnight. What is this world coming to?

We have been having a good time, but I have added quite a bit to my plate since she was last here. I am exhausted, but here I am typing away on this stupid laptop. I refuse to let myself become an "early bird". I am a night owl. I stay up late. This is who I am. What is happening to me?

This is what I imagine old people think when they realize they are old. First it's going to bed a little bit earlier, then it's losing your bowels in your pants. I don't want to become one of those people. I guess this is the reason I have such a hard time going to bed early. I will fight this transformation throughout the process.

This is only a phase. I'll eventually be up till 2:00 AM in no time.

Training (again)

Today I have officially started my marathon training. I completed a whole mile.

One down, 25.2 more to go...

I haven't ran in so long, that it almost killed me. Well, not really killed, but it did hurt like hell at the end. I'm sore as crap. And let me tell ya, crap is a term I use to describe intense pain. Actually, I use the term for a bunch of things. It's my utility word. Whenever I can't think of a word, I just substitute crap in its place.

"Can you pass me that crap?"
"Man, I feel like crap."
"Don't be sending no crap my way!"

See, it can be used in any situation. The positive side of this training (besides the whole healthy feeling good thing) is that it may wear me out. I feel tired as crap and maybe I can actually get some sleep tonight. Keep them damn white spots away from me.

I'm definitely running the Houston marathon next year, but I wanted to try and make the San Antonio marathon in November. All I need to do is three miles three times a week. Then a long run on Saturday.

I think I can, I think I can...