Truly Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I last posted something on here. To tell you the truth, I've started posting various things, but I always end up deleting the entries before posting them the past couple of weeks.

I just feel like I don't have much to say right now. Well, that is not the truth. I feel as if I don't have anything USEFUL to say right now. Stupid, I know... but it is how I feel.

So... I have had some drama in my life lately, but it's not undeserved. Is that a real word, undeserved? Anyway, it's no big deal. That is what makes me feel good about the situation. I can honestly say that it is NO BIG DEAL and mean it. Whether the situation plays out one way or the other, doesn't really matter to me much. How sad is that?

I have had a craving for Captain Crunch lately. I wonder what that means? Other than my crazy ass having ADD and jumping around from thought process to thought process.

So take this post as it is... it's all I have right now.

Time to give thanks

I'm actually looking forward to Turkey day this year. Not to spend time with family. Not because of the home cooked meal. No... because it will actually force me to slow down my personal life for at least two days.

Okay, just one day because I already have plans for Friday night. But oh how I will appreciate that one day. It's my way of giving "thanks" to my body. And when I say body, I really mean liver.

Anything for You

I had a bunch of thoughts typed out, but decided that this section of song really expresses my mood better.


And I'd do anything for you
In spite of it all
I've learned so much from you
You made me strong
But don't you ever think that I dont love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things dont work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

- Gloria Estefan

If only I had super powers...

You know what super power I wish I had? The ability to turn anything I touch into a steak. Wouldn't that be awesome? I'm hungry, let's turn this piece of paper into a steak. How about a snack? This pen magically turns into a steak.

Then again... I would have to stay away from Internet porn. And using the bathroom, that would totally suck. Never mind, I don't want that super power.

Do you really need both sides?

I should be sleeping right now. But I'm not. Why? I'm not sure. I have trained my body lately to use less sleep and still somewhat function.

Have you ever heard only one side of a conversation and created the other side in your head? I do that all the time. It makes my eavesdropping much more entertaining. Of course when the person is someone you know and may be talking about you... not so much fun.

My sanity requires both halves of the conversation. BOTH HALVES.

Why are you hiding?

So... my dog is starting to really freak me out now. For the last week, she has been hiding in her crate while at home. Instead of enjoying the wide open space of the apartment, she chooses to sit inside her small crate throughout the day.

She has this huge fear of flying insects. I don't know why, but she FREAKS out whenever there is a fly or mosquito around. So the first day she hid in her crate, I thought there was a flying insect somewhere. But we are on day six now and it is starting to get to me.

What the hell does she see or know that I don't know? They say that animals can sense things humans can not. I have always felt safe in my home, but now I'm getting a little unsettled. Stupid dog...

Was the secret ingredient whipping cream or sour cream?

Is it bad to call your ex-girlfriend just to get a recipe from her? What if you really, really liked the recipe and can't find it anywhere else?

I'm not going to do it. I would be an idiot, but it did make me think about all the things I should have written down WHILE I was in the relationship. I guess I would always assume that I would be in that relationship until the end of time, so there is no need to collect that information myself.

Um... yeah. Guess that didn't happen and now I'm going to have to wing it.

Tell you what, I'm definitely capturing any information down that I think is valuable in the future during my next relationship. Of course, I may seem a little crazy capturing all this information in a super secret notebook. If she ever found it, how do you explain that to her? "Oh, I'm just writing down all these cool recipes that you know just in case we ever break up."

I'm sure that will go over real well.

Weirdest Quote of the Day

"Bell Biv Devoe makes the hair on my balls stand up."

Just say it

No.

See, that wasn't that hard. Then why do I have such a hard time saying it sometimes?

Come On Get Higher

I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

- Matt Nathanson

Sometimes it just is what it is

You know what I hate? The Unknown.

I would rather feel bad about knowing something that I don't want to know, then feel unsure about the situation. So... now I know a lot about various situations around me. Do I feel better? Somewhat.

Some didn't turn out like I thought, but at least I know. The NOT knowing was killing me from the inside.

Do you know what I hate? Liver. I do, I can not eat it no matter what form it is served. Cold, hot, mashed, baked... I just can't eat liver. I have tried for decades, but it just won't happen. Life is the same way. Sometimes you just can't make things work, no matter how hard you try. You WANT it to work out, but it doesn't. No matter what you do, it will not work out.

Such drama in my life. I should have been an actor for a living. At least I could have been paid for all this drama.

See Daniel Run, Run Daniel Run

So... we had a bomb scare at work this morning. Not some phony bomb threat because there are exams today type of scare, but a true life bomb scare. There was a suspicious suitcase and some nut job mumbling something.

Anyway, I pull into the parking garage and the cops are running over to the street to stop traffic. I think nothing of it and pull into the garage. I park all the way on the 7th level (normal spot). As I get out, I look down to see what the cops were running towards. I notice that they blocked the street off in front of my work. I look at the other end of the street and it is also blocked off by police. That's when I notice the three unmarked white trucks. And next to them are the bomb guys suiting up the one officer. He is in full bomb gear from head to toe. He has this shield thing and everything.

That's when the thought hit me. This is a bomb scenario. Do I stay on this side of the street (parking garage side) or try to walk across to the other side (work side) with the bomb? I decided to stay on my side for a few minutes and see what happens. I watch and watch what seems like forever. There are people walking across the skybridge between the two sides like nothing is going on.

Um Hello... do you not see this guy in huge ass bomb gear on the street below? Surely you noticed the police cars all outside the building. Right?

Well you know what? Twenty minutes later, I got bored and ended up crossing over to the bomb side via the skybridge. I figured, "if it's my time, it's my time." Of course they wouldn't let anyone go up the elevators or stairs during the scare, so I was stuck there on the 2nd floor. And my dumb ass sat right next to the window where they were doing the bomb investigation.

Needless to say, it was nothing more than a suitcase full of stuff. What kind of stuff? I don't know because they hauled it away without showing us. I guess it didn't meet the requirements of a bomb.

I've always wondered if I was a fight or flight individual during a major disaster. I thought I was a fighter, but now I'm not so sure. Someone has to survive to tell the story, right?

Romeo and Juliety

So I have some friends that have come up with a new theory regarding my personal life. I have always thought about the type of women I have been attracted to in the past, but not looked that much pattern wise beyond the personalities. Perhaps there is more to it.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Do you think there is some type of life force out there connected to each of our names? I have been called by my middle name way too many times to count. The funny part is that the people calling me by my middle name, did not know my middle name. They just said I looked like that name. That has always freaked me out to some extent.

Quote of the Day

"Poor Joe the Plumber, I guess it's back to plunging the toilet."

It comes down to this

So... by this time tomorrow, twenty months of excitement will be over. I hope I will be in a good mood and partying my butt off. It's either partying or running like mad avoiding the riots.

I don't really think there will be riots (he says as he is packing up canned goods and checking the gas in his car).

How does that saying go?

You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it.

From blue to moo

I have a feeling that I will not be able to be Papa Smurf this evening. I have not had much success with the hat and the hat is EVERYTHING in this costume. I think I should save it for next year.

I may have to go with my backup costume.

Time to load up on travel supplies

I have realized that I have become an inner loop snob. I don't like to travel outside the 610 loop anymore. It just seems so far. I remember when I would travel from Sugarland to the Woodlands for a night without even thinking about it. It would take me an hour and a half each way, but I just accepted the travel time and gas used.

Not any more. If I have to travel to the west part of Houston, I feel as if I should fill up my gas and pack some snacks. I try to maintain all personal aspects of my life to the inner loop now. I have been breaking that pattern lately and traveling around the city, but we will see how long that lasts.

Time paradox

FIx your clocks Google. Yeah, you heard me. FIX YOUR CLOCKS.

It is apparent that you have not applied the daylight savings time patches to all your servers, because I am tired of your time being one hour behind on my posts. This patch was released a long, long time ago. No excuses.

The OCD in me is dying whenever I create a new post. I want the time to be accurate and match the time I actually post the entry. But noooo, it is either going to be an hour early or it will queue up for an hour. Yeah, I could let it just sit there and then post an hour later, but is that really necessary?

Okay, I think the ranting session is over.

Which way is north?

What is it in my nature that craves drama? And I'm not talking about "Let's go watch a play" drama. I'm talking about "Running for your life in the woods with a serial killer chasing you" drama.

There must be something there... I just don't know what it is yet. I have been trying to figure that part of my life out for a few years now. I am no closer than I was three years ago. I have tried looking from the outside in (well as best as I could), but that didn't work. I have tried to avoid certain type of personalities that thrive on drama. No matter what I try, I always end up with the drama.

I am a drama magnet. Can't you demagnetize a magnet? Hmm... I wonder if I could do that to myself. I swear I must have all the electrons in my body pointing in the same direction that attracts the negative energy.

I heard that "Enchanted Rock" has energy running through it. I need to take a short trip out there and lay on the rock for a while. Perhaps, my body chemistry will change and I won't attract the negative energy anymore.

Quote of the Day

"I waited all this time in anticipation and it only lasted 35 seconds. I feel a little let down."

Zig instead of Zag

Lately I have been on this whole "paths" thing. We all face forks in our daily road and choose one path or the other. I faced one of those potential life changing path decisions several years ago. Basically, it was between two different potential relationships. One, my mom kept trying to set me up with (one of her fellow co-workers) and the other I met on my own. Her co-worker expressed interest in me. Both were attractive women, but each had their own unique qualities. One has a very, very beautiful singing voice, the other had a fun playful tomboyish spirit about her.

I chose the playful tomboyish woman. Even though it didn't work out, I didn't regret my decision. The other woman eventually found someone, got married, and moved away. I always wondered, what if I chose that path instead? If I saw her today, would I feel I made a mistake in my life?

The answer is a resounding NO. I saw her today and I realized that we just didn't have any type of connection. Not then and definitely not now. So what's the whole point of all this? Well, I guess it just reinforces that I have to trust my judgement. Yeah my decisions may not always be right, but they were the best decision at that time.

I swear Karma reads my site and follows my advice. When I was second guessing my decision to dodge the bullet, no sooner than 30 minutes later I had my second chance to correct my mistake. And when I decided to stop running around in circles, Karma drops a situation into my lap. I'm just going to leave well enough alone and continue down this road I picked.

Standing still while the world revolves

I'm just going to keep doing what I do and let life come to me right now. I'm tired of thinking about "what ifs" and "what nots". When did life start to get so complicated?

I remember when I was eight, the biggest concern was whether I could go outside to play. I miss those days...

My eyes are up here, quit staring at my chest

Isn't it amazing how ONE piece of clothing (or accessory in this case) can totally change how people view you?

I have never received so many comments about me wearing a tie this week. Even from my neighbors. What the hell does that say about me???

Ready for Happy Hour

I can confirm that forward progress DOES NOT necessarily mean happy progress. Sometimes it just means, "let's make it through this day and not think about it" progress.

Isn't ignorance bliss?

Perhaps missing the bullet was wrong in this case

Sometimes I should just leave well enough alone. I'm not sure about much anymore. You know, I started this site with very open and honest feelings because I knew that no one read it back then. Now, I sanitize my thoughts before posting them on here. I have various reasons why, but I think I will start to openly post my thoughts again.

This could have some serious repercussions now. I was thinking about secretly starting another site and starting over with my thoughts. I used this site as an online journal of some sort initially. I was thinking about doing it again with a different site. I decided not to do that. Why? I'm not sure. It just didn't feel right.

I don't know... perhaps some things are best left unspoken or in this case, unwritten.

I feel as if I dodged a bullet today. In all my life, I have never drunk dialed anyone. I have never drunk texted anyone either. But last night, I ended up drunk e-mailing someone. Not someone from the past, but someone in the present. Anyway, the details are not important. I was fortunate that the person agreed to delete the e-mail without reading it. An extreme act of kindness, no doubt. I don't even know if I would have done something like that. For this person, I probably would. I digress... so now I am wondering if perhaps I should have let her read the e-mail.

All the cards would have been laid out on the table. No going back after that deed is done. But now the e-mail is deleted. Sure I could resend it, but the impact of the message would be lost now. Now I am in no better position than I was yesterday. How can I make forward progress if I keep settling for status quo? Is losing all that you have with someone considered forward progress? I guess no one says that forward progress is always happy progress.

Then again, I have always said that my lack of patience has bitten me in the ass more than a few times. Oh and I also have a stalker trying to get with me, but that is a story for another time.

Yesterday

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

- The Beatles

Top 5 Reasons I Love My Xterra

5. It seats five people, with room for your shit in the back.
4. When your vehicle has a major scene in "The Office", you know it's a fly ride.
3. It can actually get pretty airborne when flying over railroad tracks.
2. Flooding, what flooding?
1. It runs over light poles in the street without breaking a sweat.

Mr. Pity Party for one, your table is ready

A few months ago, I was looking for more single people to hang out with. All my friends happen to be in relationships and you know how that goes. Yeah, I'm talking about YOU.

Anyway, so know I have found the mecca of single people. I seem to do a whole hell of a lot more things now. I wouldn't exactly call all these people my friends. Friendship is something precious and takes time to nurture. That sounds SO GAY. Which is okay, if you're into that sort of thing. Gawd Seinfeld, will you ever leave my brain. It is true though, that friendships are not instant. I have started to make new single friends.

The only downside... I forgot just how much single people hang out. Don't they ever do things by themselves? I like getting invited to things and having options for when I'm not doing anything, but I like to have my alone time too.

And those friends that are in relationships... I do still wish they would go out with me and hang out sometime. Yeah, I'm talking about YOU.

I think you like to make me cry so you can salt your margarita glasses with my tears.

I verbs

You know what is important? Verbs.

Take this sentence for example. "Don't expect me to (missing verb) right."

Wow! ALL kinds of verbs could fit into that sentence. Especially with my dirty ass mind. Did I mention that my phone has this special way of cutting out at just the right time? I miss a lot of verbs in my conversations. Of course, I randomly fill in verbs in my mind when that happens. It's like a live version of Madlibs.

How to guarantee a throw up filled ending

Is there any better way to spend an evening?

Eating raw fish, drinking wice rine, and running around the woods getting the bejebus scared out of you.

Do you smell what Karma is cooking?

So I get up earlier than normal to do some work at the office. I get ready, walk my dog and arrive at work around 7:40. This is extremely rare for me. It seems no matter how early I wake up, I always end up at the office MUCH later than 7:40.

Anyway, I digress, so I stop at the coffee shop on the way in to work. I discover, to my joyful surprise, that I filled all twelve spots on the coffee card and get a free drink of my choice. Anything I want. ANYTHING I want. Normally, the greedy bastard in me would get the largest most expensive drink just to feel like I got the most bang for my free buck.

Not the case this morning. I figured I have been ordering medium drinks in the past to get me this free coffee, I'll order what I always get to not tempt karma. So I order my drink and give the guy my free coffee card. He notices that the drink is free and asks, "Do you want to make it a large since it is free?" I tell him no. He gives me this dumb ass look and then puts in my order for my medium coffee. I feel good. I think, "Hells yeah. I am getting to work early with my free coffee, karma must be on my side."

Let me go all John McCain on you, my friends, Karma is never on your side when you get cocky. NEVER...

So I arrive at my office, feeling good and go to set down my free coffee on my desk. Then ,in slow motion, I see my coffee start to fall over on my desk. Twenty-two freaking ounces of sticky hot latte is now running everywhere. On my papers, on my keyboard, on my mouse, all over the carpet, everywhere... What the fuck???

Thirty minutes later and several passes with a cleaning solution, here I sit typing on a sticky keyboard with my fucking arms sticking to the desk. The worst part is the smell of my damn latte is everywhere. Tempting me of the java goodness that I will never know this morning.

This day is going to so fucking suck.

The new Knight Rider sucks ass

Sometimes I wonder if I pass up something good for the potential of something good. I face so many forks in my life road and just pick one path without fully thinking about the consequences of picking that path.

Confucius say, Daniel is so screwed when he think too hard.

I always get the fucked up fortune cookie messages.

Codependent Fire Zombies

You know, I have such a hard time with patience in my life. I have harped on the immediate gratification thing in the past, so I won't delve into that again. I have noticed that I have to watch my actions a little bit more lately. I want to fall back into an old pattern of codependency. I guess it's like any other addiction. It never really goes away, I just have to maintain it.

I have noticed a pattern that triggers these feelings and I start questioning whether I need to keep myself away from these triggers. But doing so, comes at a great consequence. Such mystery in my life is extremely overrated. What the hell does that last sentence mean? I'm not 100% sure. But once I figure it out, you'll be the first to know.

BRAINS...

Seriously, are zombies really that bad? There has to be some lovable aspect to a zombie. They'll love you until the end of time. Well, not true. They'll love your brain until the end of time. And by end of time, I really mean by the end of when they are finished eating your brain and move on to the next brain.

Tangent = (noun) a straight line or plane that touches a curve or curved surface at a point, but if extended does not cross it at that point.

When I was a kid, I loved to play with fire. Perhaps you didn't hear me... I LOVED to play with fire. I was an arsonist in the worst way. (Ashley, if you're reading this, then learn from my mistakes and DO NOT REPEAT my idiotic actions in life) Okay, back to my story. So I loved setting things on fire. I had this closet with laminate flooring in my room as a child. I would close myself into the closet with the lights turned off. I would set army men on fire and watch the plastic drip flames onto the tile. As the burning plastic would drip, the flame would extinguish and make this cool sound. I was stupid in the worst way. Anyway, that is just one of the smaller fire stories in my childhood. I loved playing with fire.

Some things never change.

Running Man

So the moral of the story is... never stop to brag about your escape.

We just left CVS when a man went running across the parking lot. He had a bag full of stuff and was hauling ass. Then there was another man chasing him. I then recognized the second man. He was the cashier that was at CVS. Apparently, the first guy was trying a grab and run and dashed across a busy street. The CVS employee stopped before crossing (for good reason with all the cars driving in the way). So the guy stops at the gas station across the street and holds up the bag laughing. Then a good samaritan must have realized what he did and tackled the guy at the gas station. The CVS employee makes it across the street and they both have the man on the ground. Wouldn't you know it, there was a cop in the gas station store at that very moment.

So now the guy it in hand cuffs and wishing he hadn't stopped running to brag about his escape. If only I had a video camera at the time. This would have been huge on You Tube.

Decisions, decisions...

I am attending a Halloween party where I actually have to dress up. I haven't dressed up for Halloween in decades. So now I'm trying to determine what to be. I could punk out and just be a vampire or a pimp, but those are way to easy. That will be my plan B options. I want something that will stand out and is original.

I was thinking of dressing up as a drive through sign (that lights up and everything), but that sounds like A LOT of work. Besides, it would be cumbersome and big as hell. I would be knocking everything over around me.

What to be... what to be...

Whatever You Like

Stacks on deck, Patron on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
Baby, you can have whatever you like
I said, you can have whatever you like

- T.I.

Some times sacrifices are needed

I have been living my life lately like I'm ten years younger. As my mother would say, "You're burning the candle at both ends and it will eventually catch up to you." Yeah, consider it caught up.

I'm so tired and I just want to relax. Even though I am so tired, I want to be outside enjoying the beautiful weather. I think I need to just suck it up and take advantage of the weather while we have it.

Quote of the Day

"I'm playing hide and go seek with the waiter."

Too good to be true

The weather has been freaking me out lately. It has been really nice. A little too nice if you ask me. What's the catch? I can't remember October being this cool in a long time. Like sit out in a patio drinking margaritas cool.

I guess I should just shut my mouth and enjoy the weather, but I'm more of a waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of guy. I don't know... Perhaps this is our reward for the sucky hurricane we had to endure.

If rain occurs when God is crying, are windy days caused by God farting?

Wine and emotions don't mix too well

I've always felt that I was an 80 year old man trapped in a 30 something year old body. Young 30s mind you... I have been told by many that I have wisdom beyond my years. But do I really have that kind of wisdom? I think I do when it comes to others. But when I try to apply that wisdom to myself, it never seems to work out like I thought it would.

I have a friend that is 20 years older than me (Old enough to be my dad). Literally... he is the same age as my father, but he doesn't act anything like my father. I believe we are as old as we act. Sometimes thats a good thing. More often than not, that is a bad thing. There are times I would like to just sit in my room and pout all day long. Be pissed at the world for giving me the raw end of the deal at times. Today was one of those days. Well, that is until I had about eight glasses of wine and now life is feeling pretty numb right now.

Numb is good. Numb is very good.

Feelings and emotions are a very sharp double edged sword. You would think that knowing how dangerous this sword could be, I would be more careful with it. Nope, not my dumb ass. I swing it around like a RenFair geek. I toss it in the air and see if I can grab the handle on the way down. Like I said, I'm a dumb ass. I have cut myself so many times on these emotions, its a wonder I haven't bled to death (emotionally that is). Do I learn? Nope. Am I hard headed? Yep.

Life is sucking really, really big time right now. I thought I had some of it figured out, but I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. You were right. You know who you are. Just when I thought I had some sense of what life was offering, it smacked me upside my ass and threw me around. I'm life's bitch. Plain and simple.

I just don't know anymore. Part of me wants to be that zombie of four years ago and just go through the motions regarding life. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't too sad either. I was just there. Is being "there" all that bad? I know we have to feel pain at times to remind ourselves that we are alive, but there needs to be a feeling of happiness as well. If we haven't experienced that feeling of happiness in a while, isn't it better to be a zombie?

I'm rambling now... perhaps its the wine. Perhaps its just pent up emotions from the current state of my life. Consider this my state of the union address. State of the emotional union that is.

Obama 2 McCain 0

Obama took care of business today. I was actually very excited to see his responses and how he handled himself during the second debate. He stepped it up a notch and McCain looked childish.

I just wish the election was this week and not a month away. I also wish that the stupid Neocon idiots would wake up and actually talk about the current topics instead of relating everything back to religion or patriotism.

No maybes allowed today

Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions in our life. That's what being an adult is all about. I get it. But what if you make a wrong decision that may affect a big aspect of your life? That's a whole lot of pressure on a decision you are about to make.

Something like this is worth far more than a coin toss.

Preplanning my regrets for not running

I should be sleeping... but I'm not. Life is going to so suck in five hours when I wake up to go running. Sleep is overrated anyway. I keep telling myself that, but I'm not really convincing myself.

I wish they would make sleeping pills that would work for a set amount of time. Is it really that hard? Just make the sleeping stuff time released. Kind of like the pain medications or the allergy medications. Then I could take a five hour pill and be fully rested in the morning, but not drugged out.

A man can dream can't he?

You're welcome

Okay, Okay... So you're wondering what "Take it to the mattresses" means? Well, my friend, you're in luck. I'll give you the quick and dirty answer to the question. The simple Cliff note version is "go to war". That's it. So if you've seen "You've Got Mail", Kathleen (Meg Ryan) is going to take it to the mattresses with the big bookstore. She is going to fight (or go to war with) the bigger bookstore. It is usually an all out battle that will have one side victorious over the other.

So where did this quote originate. I'm not sure, but I first heard it from "The Godfather".

So the next question should be, what's the deal with mattresses? In the movie, one family decides to attack the other family. This creates this massive bloodbath with many people dead on both sides. Since there is strength in numbers, the gang members pick a location and stay together. They rent "mattresses" for all the guys to sleep on while they are holed up together. This indicates that it will be a long drawn out war between the two families.

So now you know the explanation of the quote. The Godfather has so many good quotes. "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday", "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse", and "Leave the gun, take the cannoli".

Stronger my ass

This is just one of those lazy Saturday mornings. I have PLENTY that I should be doing, but I'm not. No reason for not doing it, just because.

I have found that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. RIGHT? Isn't that how the saying goes? It may make you stronger but whatever it was that made you feel that way still sucks. So how does that expression make anyone feel any better?

Speak up Mr. Internet, because I still have no explanations yet.

There was a debate last night, right?

So, I watched the debate last night. All I have to say is that Biden should have gone for the jugular, but he didn't. I hope that doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.

Oh... and I'm starting to like the term O'Biden. It's like the melding of the two. Kind of like the Wonder Twins.

Wonder Twins, activate. Form of great leader that will change this country. Form of supporting old guy that will give said leader foreign experience on the ticket.

I think Palin is also stressing the accent to create a more folksy image. Can that be her real voice? Every time she finished her sentence last night, I added "don't you know" in a Canadian accent. I was cracking myself up all night. Of course, I was also under the influence of alcohol during the debate so that may have had something to do with it.

The World Should Revolve Around Me

Not for nothin but what came first
The chicken nugget or the egg mcmuffin

- Little Jackie

Quote of the Day

"Stop the drama, vote Obama!"

Must be the Minute Maid air affecting his abilites

Stupid Brad Lidge is 41 out of 41 save attempts this year. That is a perfect save situation. PERFECT. What the hell Lidge? Why couldn't you do that with us?

Don't get me wrong, I love that we have Valverde. It's just frustrating that we let go of the losers and they turn into really good players with other teams.

Stupid Lights Out Lidge

I know this is an extra post for the month, but I couldn't resist it. I was furious when I read that he had a perfect save record this season. FORTY FREAKING SAVES.

When safe isn't really safe

So I have this fireproof lock box. It's made to withstand all kinds of heat and still keep my paper documents intact. That way; if my place goes up in flames, I will still have all my important documents safe. Makes sense, right? I put all my important docs in there. Passport, birth certificate, and lords knows what else. ALL IN THERE.

The only problem... I can't find the key to the damn lock box. So... um... yeah. My documents are safe. So safe, even I can't get to them. Therein lies my dilemma. Do I drill the lock and risk ruining my documents or do I continue searching for the key? I've been looking for a few weeks now.

I'm planning a trip to Mexico in December and need to renew my passport. They will need my old passport to renew it and I think it's in the lock box. I don't know how long it will take for the renewal, but I have a feeling I need to start that process real soon.

I don't care if I ruin the box, but I am afraid that I will over drill and start shredding my documents inside. SHIT... only my luck does this type of shit. I just don't know what to do.

Three down, nothing left to do.

Fity ain't got nothing on me

Did you know that chandeliers make great shirt hanger uppers?

I'm so ghetto sometimes, it cracks me up. You can take the boy out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of this gangster. "I got four dollas yo!"

I have a friend that swears she lives in the ghetto. In the middle of Montrose. Ghetto my ass. I told her that I would take her to my old neighborhood and show her ghetto. I asked if she had a bullet proof vest. I think she thought I was joking.

In the ghetto...

Two down, one to go.

Stupid OCD

My OCD in me wants to have 30 posts this month to match the 30 days of September. Why, I'm not sure. I do know that it is strong in me so I have to post three more times to meet this goal.

Fucking OCD. I swear I have the weirdest OCD at times. I hope it's not hereditary.

One down, two to go.

Must resist urge to leave

I've been so busy the past few weeks that I feel kind of weird to be home and doing nothing. I want to go out and do something just to be out of the house, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of resting at home.

It's that stir crazy thing again. Weird. A few months ago you couldn't get me out of the house and now I don't like staying home. Isn't it funny how we can just flip like that? Or is it just me?

The other strange thing is my need to clean my place from top to bottom. I think it's because I have crap all over the place. They still haven't fixed my two bedrooms so I have crap literally everywhere. I miss my bedroom.

I have a feeling that once I can move back into my bedroom, my need to clean will disappear.

Why do you mock me calendar gods?

You know, sometimes I really hate computers. When they work, they are the best thing since sliced bread. But when they don't work, they suck ass. Was life really that bad before sliced bread? Seriously, did it kill you to tear chunks of bread and slap some meat on it? Why is it so good because it is sliced?

Sorry bout that. Tangents get the best of me every time. Anyway, I depend on my phone and calendar like water in the desert. They are my lifeline. When I can't depend on them, it makes me very sad. Right now I can't depend on my calendar. Now I'm a paranoid fuck. I have four devices that I access my calendar on and they all have different calendar events on them. Which one do I trust? If I wipe out three of them, how can I be sure that I have all events in the one final computer?

FUUUCCCCKKKKK!

So the moral of the story is... fuck if I know. Don't trust computers... Always keep everything on paper.... Just say no to drugs.

The only thing I'm missing is the blue eyes

I can eat 50 eggs in one hour.

Well, okay, maybe not fifty.

I want to pay homage to one of the greatest actors this past century. So what do I do?
Here is my plan.

Eat five eggs in one hour - Cool Hand Luke
Gamble and win a pool game - The Hustler
Get drunk one night - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Convince a stranger that I'm a foot model - The Sting
Eat ranch dressing every day this week - Newman's Own Dressing

I know the list is dorky as hell, but that represents me even more. Hell, I'm thinking I can knock four of those out in one night.

Gotta shake it off

How is it possible to have power but still feel stir crazy? I guess it will still take a few weeks for life to get back to normal. Whatever "normal" may be. I feel myself getting into a funk lately. I need to shake this feeling in a bad way. Maybe I need a mini-vacation to take my mind of things for a while.

Any day now

Living out of my living room sucks ass.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

What's small, blue, and not moving?

Does having a Smurf on your desk make you gay?
It feels a little gay.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, if you're into that type of thing.

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

I have become a believer that the energy you display to the world will determine if you are going to have a good day or a bad day. If all I focus on is negative energy, then I will attract negative energy back. Makes sense, right?

WRONG!

I have tried really, really hard to exert nothing but good energy lately and I still have shit sent back in my direction. SHIT in my direction. What else can I do, but wipe myself off and continue on my journey.

Why do people have this need to pick sides? Seriously, why MUST a side be chosen? Can't we just be neutral in life sometimes and give others the benefit of the doubt? I know it's harder, but can't we just try that option?

I'm sure my rambling doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but it is helping me vent (for whatever that is worth). I once knew someone that told me I was always creating negative scenarios in my head during that relationship and one day they would come true because I kept focusing on them so much. Turned out she was right. But was she right because I focused so much on the negative that it created a self fulfilling prophecy or was that situation going to occur no matter what I thought. Chicken meet egg, egg meet chicken.

I just don't know. What I do know is that I have to keep trying to live my life and believe that karma or destiny will take care of the rest. I was in this group once that had this saying, "Let go and let God". Basically, just let go of trying to control the situation and let God take care of it. Funny, I still capitalize God. My lack of faith sometimes disturbs me.

I was talking to a friend recently and she mentioned that she attends mega church (Joel Olsteen church formally known as the Compaq Center formally known as The Summit). I was shocked because she was not religious when she was younger (I've known her for over twenty years). And she explained that she felt like she was missing something from her life. She needed something else to give her strength. We are basically reversed. I grew up with a strong religious upbringing and felt that it gave me nothing in life as I got older. She grew up with no religious upbringing and felt religion would give her strength when she got older. To be honest, discussing it with her made me even more confused.

Is it just me? Am I not understanding religion and just not getting something out of it? Or maybe I am just evil and draw people away from religion? I have been told that I am a bad influence by WAY TOO MANY people.

Why am I putting all of this out there on the Internet? This makes no sense. Will it stop me? Nope. I'm an idiot like that at times.

Will it bite me in the ass later?

You smell that? Yep, that's a nice smoky charcoal smell.

Too little too late

Out of all the relationships I have experienced in my life, it took 20 years to finally start understanding them.

I want to see frost on the unit

Guess who just came back into the 20th century? That's right... I have power as of 30 minutes ago. Ten days without power really, really sucked. I now have power, Internet, AND cable. I'm so giddy, I don't know what to do with myself.

First thing I did was jack the thermostat down to 65. Damn skippy... SIXTY FIVE! I want to see my breath frost up with every time I exhale. The last few nights were pure hot sticky hell. I didn't get a lick of sleep last night.

Okay, enough bitching. Time to start enjoying some AC and Internet.

Giggling like a little school girl

Best quote of the day.

"I just ate a Luby's Lu Ann Platter. Texas cooking at it's finest."

Officially becoming a Gypsy

My first since the hurricane hit. The one posted last Saturday was actually a "pre-post" that was created last week. So... what has the past week been like.

HELL

Plain and simple. Well, maybe not THAT bad. It has it's ups and downs. I still have no power. Of course, half of Houston does not have power. I live close to Downtown, so I don't expect to get power for at least another week (If I'm lucky). I have adapted to life without power. The only thing that sucks is finding ways to charge my cell phone and laptop. My broadband card sucks big fat floppy donkey dick right now. It hasn't worked right yet since the storm. I sit next to someone with a Verizon card and they are happily surfing the Internet, while my freaking AT&T card is shit for service. Oh I have all the bars available, but the Internet doesn't work right. It's slow as molasses. That's a funny saying... slow as molasses.

So I planed on having updates following the storm, but that went out the window. I'm debating whether I should post date some of the posts because I have actually been journaling thoughts from time to time. I may do that for historical reference. I tried to take pictures of some of the damage, but it was just depressing me too much. Such devastation from this storm is unreal. Who would have thought that a city full of trees would have so many power issues? Oh sarcasm, you are my only friend in this world.

I have found myself out and about most of the day just to keep from going crazy. Work is busy, so that is a plus because it helps keep my mind busy. I was hoping that my work would have power so that I could enjoy it through the day and then only have to deal with the "no power" at night. NOPE. Work has no power either and it looks like it might be a while before the building gets power.

So I have been driving the streets since the Saturday after the storm hit. It was kind of nice the first two days. Very few cars were on the road and gas was hard to find. People were courteous and respectful on the road. Now... It's like Mad Max on the road. People are getting pissy and driving crazy. Welcome to Post Apocalyptic Houston.

So, enough ranting for now. I'll post again when I find Internet.

Did you ever know that your my hero?

What do I give myself for my four year anniversary?

EXACTLY four years ago, I posted my first entry into this site. I can't believe it's been four years already. The entry was rather simple, yet profound. It captured the exact emotion I was feeling during that part of my life. I was so confused and had no idea who I was as a person.

I should have looked at that entry as some type of foreshadowing. Of course, that meant that I would have actually had to pay attention to myself. THAT was not happening during that point in my life. I was too focused on my relationship and did not pay attention to what I needed in my life.

Now, I am much more balanced. Perfect? Not even close... I am not looking to be perfect. I just want to be happy with myself and find someone who will accept me for me. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has flaws and imperfections. We all have skeletons in our closets. Some of us just have bigger closets than others. Me, I have a very tiny closet. But you know I'm Mexican, so I have this amazing ability to cram a whole fuck load of skeletons into that small amount of space.

So what is the hidden meaning to this post? I'll let you in on a secret. THERE IS NO HIDDEN MEANING. You know, sometimes a book is just a book. No hidden message, no moral of the story, no symbolism... just words on a piece of paper.

So back to my question. What do I give myself for my four year anniversary? Knowledge.

Knowledge to know that I have done the best I can for myself the past four years. There were good times and LOTS of bad times, but I grew along the way. I kept moving forward a little at a time. I may have slid back a whole lot at times, but I continued to point in the right direction and never gave up. I am the wind beneath my wings (sing it in a Bette Midler voice and it sounds so much better).

Oh yeah, now I'm ready

Still waiting for the storm to hit. So far, nothing. Not even a nice breeze in my area. This storm is making me look bad because I keep telling everyone that the bands of rain and wind should have arrived this morning. Yet, they haven't. The damn storm keeps getting pushed later and later.

Let's do this and get it over with. I'm so sick of hearing about this damn hurricane on the news. ALL DAY LONG.

You know; if something tragic were to happen to me, this would be my last post. How pathetic of a last post is this??? I'm such a grim person sometimes, but my ass is knocking on wood as I type this. "Just in case".

You know what my real problem is? I'm trying to time my dog's last walk to ensure the timing works out. I want the LAST possible moment of calmness to walk her before the wind and rain roll in. It is going to royally suck when I have to walk her tomorrow morning during the hurricane. ROYALLY SUCK!

Hmm... what else can I say about this hurricane? I decided to hit the store this morning and upgrade my hurricane supplies. I was originally set with the following items.

4 packets of tuna
12 bottles of water
Flashlight with working batteries
Two candles
Fully charged iPod
Fully charged laptop
Fully charged cell phone

I figured that was enough to keep me alive for two or three days. Since the storm didn't hit this morning, I went and found an open CVS. So now, I have added the following.

3 lunchables
1 half gallon of milk
1 box of Honey Nut Cheerios
4 cans of energy drink
1 4-pack of toilet paper

Now, I'm set. To tell you the truth, the only thing I really needed from the last purchase was the toilet paper. I was down to one roll left and realized it last night. I was like, "Fuck me, what the hell do I use if I run out of TP during the storm." I was eyeing the paper towels, rags, and printer paper. They all seemed to rough or too nasty to place on my ass. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about it now. Reminds me of the joke.

A bear and rabbit were taking a shit in the middle of the woods when the bear turns to the rabbit.
"You ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur", asks the bear.
"Nope", says the rabbit.
So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

Too bad, I don't have any rabbits around. I do have my dog, but I KNOW for a fact that shit can stick to her fur.

I guess I've rambled long enough. I've been kinda cleaning today and I guess I should take advantage of the calmness and continue cleaning while I have electricity. See you on the flip side.

Ike knows how to pack a punch

During Hurricane Rita, the theme was Margaritas for Rita.

Ike? Ike? What the hell do you do with Ike? So I had to default to the basics... Hurricanes during Hurricane Ike.

My other thought was "Black and Blue"s for Ike. You know... Ike and Tina. That just sounded too mean.

What is in a Black and Blue you ask?
1 part Blue Curacao
1 part Blavod vodka
Layer in order

That just sounds more fun than Hurricanes, but I also couldn't find the Blavod vodka. Hurricanes it is then.

Nine Eleven

So today is the seventh anniversary of 9/11 and I can't even give this day the respect it deserves.

We are in preparations for Ike and it seems to love Houston. Every time it shifts away, it somehow sneaks back toward us. This is predicted to be a Cat 3 or Cat 4 hurricane by the time it makes landfall. The last Cat 3 hurricane was in 1983 (Alicia) and I remember sitting in the house with no power for three days. I was just a kid so it was all so exciting.

Now that I'm an adult, I realize this is crap. I don't want hurricane excitement. I just want to sit at home, open a bottle of wine, and watch a movie. Damn I'm getting old...

Ironic suffering

You know what Hell feels like? It's not the fiery inferno religious leaders would have you believe. No...

Hell is sitting in a 66 degree office all day long and shivering your ass off. That, my friend, is pure hell.

Like taking money from a baby

So I was going through a pile of old mail when I came across this suspicious looking envelope. It was pretty bland except for my information. Hmm....

What's better than getting a free box of cereal in your package delivery? Getting an unexpected check just for the hell of it. Hell yeah... It would appear that Best Buy had over charged me on my cell phone tax for a phone I bought three years ago.

THREE YEARS AGO!

Yeah bitches, guess who's $4.12 richer. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Twenty and counting

I'm not sure what is in the air, but my allergies are killing me. I should be sleeping peacefully right now, but instead I'm sneezing my head off. Almost quite literally.

I'm sure my neighbors are loving me right now.

Queue Rocky theme music in 3...2...1...

The good thing about being sick is the rapid weight loss. I ate nothing for 48 hours and lost 7 pounds. Of course being overweight did not help, because you can not even tell if I lost ten pounds.

The other "good" side effect is the shrunken stomach. I eat much less now and get full easier. I will try to keep this trend going as long as possible. The less eating with my daily running should help me lose some serious weight (in theory).

I have a 16 year reunion (aw... sweet sixteen) next month. I have never been to any of the past reunions. I have not seen most of these people in sixteen years. I want to look as close to my eighteen year old self as possible. Then again, reality pops me in the eye from time to time. I weighed only 145 and wore a size 32 pant when I was eighteen.

Good Lord... the only 32 I've seen lately is my 32 ounce Big Gulp Slurpees. Shit, who am I kidding... I always go for the 64 ounce Slurpees.

The problem with having female bartenders

Jealous = (adjective) feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.


Let me start by saying that when I had control of the remote, we were watching football. The appropriate TV show to be watching at a bar.

Somehow, I was out voted by the females and the TV "magically" turned to the MTV music awards. Seriously? At a bar... are we really watching MTV music awards at a bar?

Women are worse than men at judging other women. MUCH MUCH WORSE. They were tearing up the women left and right.

Why are we watching this again? There is football on the TV. What the Fuck?

Moment of Truth

Patience is my weakest virtue.

Pride is my strongest vice.

Quote of the Day

Why do we love the ones that hurt us most?

Just Stop it Already

Whomever is placing this curse on me, please stop now. I have had enough already. Seriously, you have made your point, so you can really, really stop now.

I have had the worst 24 hours of my life now and it does not appear to be getting better. I thought I had emptied all my liquids in my body, but apparently I am full of more liquid. Hmm, who would of thunk it with our bodies composed of so much water.

Well, that's not entirely true. I have had a couple of things worse than this, but this is up there on the pain scale. My throat burns, my ass burns, and I would really like to just keep a little water down.

I wish this was from drinking and partying too much, but it was not. I didn't even get any enjoyment before all of this kicking in. I will definitely stay away from any Hawaiian food places in the near future.

The worst part was that I couldn't even be productive today. Since I stayed home anyway, I figured maybe I could clean up a little after I rested. NOPE! I have eaten anything in the last 24 hours, so I have no energy. I just lay around and sleep. I feel like such a bum.

Why do I think it's a curse as opposed to an individual event? Because things have not been lining up for me the past week or so. I feel "out of sync" or like time has shifted just slightly. I don't know how else to explain it.

Sleep, why do you tease me so?

I have been so tired the past few weeks. I start to fall asleep around 10:00PM and go to bed. The bad part is that I seem to wake up throughout the night. Every 30 minutes throughout the night. I am dreaming a whole lot more now than I used to dream. I'm not sure what that means.

So even though I go to bed earlier, I am more exhausted when I wake up. I have been exercising in the morning and reducing my caffeine intake throughout the day. Nothing seems to help.

I'm coming to my wits end. To tell you the truth, I didn't know wits had an end and how exactly can you tell where it ends? And are wits singular or plural? Should it be "wit's end" or "wits end"?

It's the little things that get to me...

Joke of the Day

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

Corona and Lime

Let me tell you about a girl I know.
She like hip hop and rock and roll.
She walk slow down the avenue.
I ain't met her, but I get her when I do.
Let me tell you about a girl I love.
She stay at home cause she hate the club.
Baby butt, pretty little features.
I ain't met her but I'll get her when I see her.

- Shwayze

Eleven herbs and spices

I recently met a woman who has two chickens as pets. She LOVES the chickens and seriously treats them like dogs. She mentioned that they sometimes "disappear" from her backyard. I'm guessing the neighbors like them some fresh fried chicken. When they are gone, she will buy replacement chickens.

I was joking around about it, when I noticed she was tearing up talking about it. I felt like shit for a while after that. Then I remembered that they were CHICKENS...

I would slow roast my dog and eat her if we were trapped in my place with no food. I also told her the same thing and she didn't find it as funny as I did (I always laugh at myself in my head). I know Karma is going to come back and bite me in the ass for that one.

Yum... loving the smell of "blue"

Nothing like the smell of a fresh porta potty in your yard in the morning.

Miracle

What do ya know. It wasn't long after all.

You never know...

Everything can be yours... all you have to do is ask. Well maybe not everything, but most things. Okay, okay... SOME THINGS can be yours, all you have to do is ask.

I find that people have the hardest time taking the first step whenever they are scared. After the first step, they realize that life isn't that bad and they actually enjoy whatever is was scaring them in the first place.

I have a friend that lost his cousin to brain cancer at the age of 37 last week. THIRTY SEVEN... that is awful young. That is only a few years away for me. I try to live each day like it's my last, but sometimes it's tough. I catch myself falling back to my old dull patterns of behavior. Fortunately, I can usually catch myself in time now and try to reverse those spiraling thoughts.

Sometimes I have random thoughts pop into my head. I have a feeling this is one of those long ass ranting posts that seem to cover nothing. Do you remember the jingle, "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a special seed bun." Yep, just popped into my head.

Quote of the Day

“Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Tie My Hands

and if you come from under that water then theres fresh air
just breathe baby, gods got a blessing to spare
yes, i know the process has so much stress
but its the progress that feels the best
cause i came from the projects straight to success
and your next, so try they cant steal your pride its inside
then find it and keep on grinding
cause in every dark cloud theres a silver lining
I know...

-Lil' Wayne

For the love of God, please stop locking up

I have come to the realization that I am addicted to my phone. Not somewhat addicted, but truly addicted. With today's ability to be "connected" all the time, this addiction is not that uncommon. The problem lies when there is an issue with your phone.

I HAVE BEEN HAVING ISSUES WITH MY PHONE!

This makes me really nervous and I am always afraid of my phone now. I feel like a battered husband. Any little thing I do could set it off any second. I don't like this feeling. Not at all.

(Puts on the tinfoil hat)
I really think this is all a conspiracy to make me upgrade to the newer iPhone. They developed the old one to start "failing" a month after the warranty expired. Pretty smart Mr. Jobs. Make one hell of a product that I don't want to give up. You force it to fail, so I will have to get the latest and greatest gadget.

Retrospective Post

I've spent the past few years searching for myself. I'm not sure if I have found myself completely yet. I do know one thing. I am a completely different person than I was three years ago.

It's funny how I thought I knew myself so well when I graduated from college. I've learned that most people rarely know themselves when they enter college. I ended up doing the family thing so that is what I associated with my life. When that ended, I was sooo lost. I didn't know what to do with myself.

So I attached myself to various relationships after that. I would change with each relationship. After they ended, I was back to my old lost self again.

How is it different this time? I have felt this need to find myself no matter who I am with. I will not let another relationship define my life. I know this post is somewhat serious, but I have to remind myself where I was three years ago and how much progress I have made in my life.

I have made several decisions lately that the "old" me would never try. I am more "fearless" now. Does that even make sense? Wouldn't that be an oxymoron? I have more of less fear.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Ctl-Alt-Del

Society has turned us into impatient zombies. We need immediate response to things (e-mails, phone calls, text messages). What ever happened to actual face time with people? We as a society have forgotten that the Internet is a tool to help get information and communication to other people in a quicker fashion. The part they forget is "tool". It is not something that we should have connected with us at all times.

If I am choosing to spend time with you, DO NOT sit there and text message other people. DO NOT talk to me on the phone from a bathroom stall. DO NOT sit in a movie theater reading your e-mail on a damn phone during the movie (You may not be talking, but the theater is dark for a reason and your fucking phone is lighting up the whole damn theater).

Where the hell have we gone wrong? And what is up with these people that have the damn phone attachments stuck in their ear ALL THE TIME? Are you that important that you can just zip in on a phone call any second?

I am not perfect. I am a part of this society. I do similar things with my technology. I sit alone at a bar and would rather play with my phone than talk to strangers. I sit in coffee shops reading books with my earphones on and shut myself off from the rest of the world. There was a time when people actually went to coffee shops to socialize. Now... everyone sits there with headphones on while reading or studying.

This whole world needs one massive REBOOT to set everything straight.

Just call me Simba

Life comes full circle from time to time. When you least expect it, life will throw you a curveball to surprise you. Isn't it amazing that a city as large as Houston can still seem so small at times.

I know I'm rambling, but damn it I can drink and ramble if I want to. I have noticed that I am forcing myself to interact with strangers more lately. I want to break my old habits of being so defensive around strangers. I don't know when it started. It is now who I am.

What the hell was I saying???

American Pie 6 - Park Adventures

I see a new plot for the next American Pie movie!

Ouch

One tenth of a century

So I went to the parent meeting for my daughter's high school today. I'm in for a whole world of hurt the next four years. Not from the high school thing, but more from the parenting thing. My ex-wife and I stood in the parking lot for over an hour after the meeting discussing the different aspects of our daughter. She and I started comparing notes of what we have experienced the past few years.

To sum up the whole experience in one word... Hormones. Apparently, my daughter is FULL OF 'EM. Like any other 14 year old girl in this world.

It's only a decade... It's only a decade...

I'm hoping after ten years her hormones will smooth out and things will be easy sailing after that. EASY SAILING...

Say What?

There are times I wonder if I present too much information about myself. I have noticed that I really don't care so much what I say. If I feel like giving some information about myself, I just spit it out. That is VERY unusual for me. I have noticed this behavior the past few months.

I guess I started noticing that sometimes I say things that shock people. They kind of look at me and then either change the subject or just stare at me in shock (loving the run on). I ignore it and continue on with some other subject.

I'm still not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I guess I'll just keep on being me and see what happens.

Bring it on Edouard!

So we are in for a treat the next few days. The last time we had a tropical storm heat directly over us it was not so fun (Allison). This time, I hope we have better results.

So you would think after all the panicking that occurred during Rita, I would be better prepared. Well in a way I am... I now have a full tank of gas in my car. Unfortunately, that's all I have. I have no canned food that can be eaten without electricity. Hell, I don't even have much food at all. I have 24 bottles of water. That should be enough to get me through the next couple of days. I happen to have plenty of batteries (just went camping).

I have plenty of reading material so I guess I'm as set as I can be. Other than the whole eating thing. Last time I went looking for food during the whole "Rita" thing, the only place open was an ice house. That didn't turn out so bad. I can only hope this time is the same. I can't believe it will be three years since Rita. Where has the time gone.

I guess worst case scenario I can always eat my dog. I know what you're thinking but it's either her or me. I can guarantee that if she gets hungry enough, she will have no qualms of trying to eat me. I win though... I have opposable thumbs.

Stupid all nighter

So I stay up all night working on a project and now I'm ready to crash. This is so going to screw up my sleep pattern. I can feel it already. I wish I was the kind of person that could take a nap and wake up all refreshed.

NOPE... that is not me. I wake up and feel worse, unless an eight hour nap counts. Then again, that's not really a nap. I'm off to try and stay awake for a couple more hours and then crash.

At least they should have to work for it

I remember back in the day... we used to watch the staticky channels just to see some resemblance of boobs. We would stare for hours and tilt our head sideways just to "think" we saw something.

Nowadays, kids can access porn without even trying. When I was a kid I would have to work really, really hard to see some form of porn. I think it will be a constant struggle between parents and children (or boys rather) in the pornography war.

I'm just glad I have a daughter...

Oh don't get me wrong. There are PLENTY of issues, just DIFFERENT issues.

Ignorance is not bliss this time

Life is funny. I'm sitting here at the car shop with three other people talking about politics. The funny part is the two guys (both old minorities) know more about politics then the other lady. Yet she still believes that Iraq was working with Osama Bin Laden and the invasion was justified. Some people in this really scare me.

I have given you all of my memory and drive space

Here I am in the middle of the night trying to learn Photoshop. Every time I see someone else using Photoshop, they make it look so easy. This last minute learning curve sucks. I have a feeling, this will be an all nighter trying to modify some images.

What kind of sacrifice do you require oh great Adobe gods?

Random thought of the morning

I was thinking about Jesse Ventura this morning. He has been in the news because people are speculating if he would run for Minnesota senator. He is not. I remember him from the pro-wrestling days. I also remember him from his acting days (Predator & Running Man). I guess I never thought about his intelligence.

I always assumed since he was a pro-wrestler, he may not be the brightest. The one thing I forgot was that he was a Navy SEAL before he was a pro-wrestler. Navy SEALs are smart. Not just smart, but seriously intelligent.

Are there people that are destined to be great? It's like everything they try to accomplish in life, they manage to succeed. He was a Navy SEAL, professional wrestler, actor, and Governor. Can you become a person like that or are you born that way?

Quote of the Day

"I'm nothing without you" is a fucked up sentiment.

Just flip it down

Popped collar? Really? Do you think it makes you look "super cool" walking around in public like that? You know what would look better? TWO popped collars. Are you cool enough for TWO popped collars?


Wait... don't tell me you can handle FOUR popped collars?

You know they do have "to go" here

Somewhere along the way coffee shops became super trendy. The only difference between cafes and bars is he ability to purchase liquor. What the hell happened? Where did all these people come from? I just want to tell them all to "go home".

Fake people piss me off. Let's just get that straight. Seriously, like really piss me off.

Quote of the Day

"That's what is wrong with lapsed Catholics, they throw out the mysticism and wonderment with the Holy Water."

I want this one and that one

So I've been looking through all the apps available for my phone. Damn you Apple, you have me excited about my phone again. How the hell do you do it? I'm so excited, I'm like a priest at a boy scout camp. I just want to play with them all.

Ouch... that one gets me my reserved parking spot in hell. Speaking of hell, what is up with the heat lately? Even the Mexicans working construction across the street are seeking shade. No, it's okay. I was once an outside worker so I can talk like that. And by outside worker, I mean I worked in the garden section at K-mart one summer. Seriously, the dirtiest job I have ever had. Loading manure into trunks all day long. Not fun at all.

Enough of the memory lane trips... let's talk about something else. Hmm... let's see. My sleep is still way the hell off. I'm up all night and have a hard ass time waking up in the morning. I'm tired during the day. But when I get home, I'm wide awake. How messed up is that?

I've cut back on my drinking. That's a good thing right? Well, it's not actually because I wanted to stop drinking. I just haven't been around people that drink lately. It just feels pretty messed up when I go somewhere alone to drink. I feel like such an alcoholic. And the judgements... it's always the judgmental looks.

Old school crushes are the best

Do you think A-rod is really screwing Madonna? She is seriously old now. Not in the sexy way either. There are a lot, and I mean A LOT, of passengers with Madonna frequent flyer miles. If ya know what I mean. Eww...

I don't know where that thought came from, but there it is. Do you think famous people are destined to be with other famous people? It makes sense because most people start relationships with other people at their work. Famous people are always around each other, so perhaps that is why they get together.

Jessica Alba broke that rule when she hooked up with some production set guy. Sigh... I guess I'll have to take her off my list now (being preggers and all). She was at the top of my "Friends 5" list. You know that episode of Friends where they get to make up a list of people they can sleep with and it wouldn't be cheating.

This WAS my most recent list.

1) Jessica Alba (no need for explanation)
2) Kate Beckinsale (love the accent)
3) Keira Knightley (again the accent)
4) Jennifer Love Hewitt (old school crush)
5) Natalie Portman (Beauty and Brains)
Standby) Alyssa Milano (Again Old School Crush)

It looks like Alyssa Milano has been activated until I redo my list.

Yeah baby! Who's the boss now? Well, technically not me. And I really don't know you, but I did see you in Poison Ivy II. You were a naughty girl. Okay, now that's just starting to sound creepy (even for me).

Self Confession Tidbits

It's been a few months... I think I'll tell the Internet world a little bit more about me. I can't remember if I've ever mentioned any of these before. If they are repeats, mea culpa.

1) I had my first shot (or six) of vodka when I was in the seventh grade
2) I like watching cartoons
3) I would go joy riding in my parents car when I was 14
4) I had a crush on my 3rd grade teacher
5) The only fruit I do not like is grapefruit
6) I own DVDs that have never been opened
7) I once made ex-lax cookies for my classmates
8) I walked three miles to lose my virginity
9) I got caught joy riding when I crashed my dad's car at 15
10) I had a priest talk me out of marriage once

I have always thought that my life was pretty boring compared to some people I know. I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm a day walker

Let's see. I have all the signs...

1.) Sleep through the day (at least want to)
2.) Stay awake all night
3.) Afraid of crosses
4.) Craving for blood

Yep, I'm a vampire.

Well, not really. I only have three of the symptoms but I'm close.

She sells sea shells by the shore

Life you tease me so

I was walking my dog when a woman comes out of her condo wearing nothing but a thin cotton nightgown that barely covered anything. It was very, very apparent that she was not wearing a bra and she was constantly bending over looking at flowers in front of the condos. This nightgown may as well have been invisible because you could tell all sorts of details. She was outside doing this for at least 20 minutes. I was across the street waiting for my dog to finish taking her crap. She was still out there when I walked away.

Did I mention she was at least sixty years old and over weight? I'm thinking of buying her a robe and leaving it on her front door.

Yum this Colgate is delicious

I wonder what dogs think about when they watch us. My dog likes to eat when I eat. I will give her food and most of the time she will eat a little, but leave the rest of her food until I eat. Then I will hear here go eat her food while I am eating. Not always, but most of the time.

This morning while I was getting ready, she was standing the bathroom door just staring at me. She does this (A LOT). Did I mention she is a NEEDY dog. Anyway, I digress... she was watching me and then I start to brush my teeth. She goes to the kitchen and starts to eat her food. Does she think I am eating something when I am brushing my teeth?

That made me wonder what else dogs misinterpret about us. Then I started to think what do I misinterpret about other people throughout the day. I have this bad habit of wanting to think I know what others are going to say or do. I try very, very hard to hold back and not do it. I am better than I used to be, but I still do it at times. I don't know why I have this need to tell this about myself. I just do.

Honesty is freedom for the soul.

Was I ever really gone?

So I'm back. Well, I've been gone mentally for a while now. I think all is whole again. Think being the key word there. I went on "holiday" for my British speaking friends out there and returned a new man. Not entirely new, but a new perspective on life. More on that later.

For now, I have not much more to say. I can babble on about various things I have seen, but doesn't everyone see something wonderful throughout the day.

Not every sticky situation has a happy ending

So I run out during my lunch to get my dog vaccinated. You know me... last minute rushing before my trip. They take her back pretty quick. Then five minutes later, they come out and call for me. Hmm... that's not usual.

I walk up and they take me back to a private room. OH MY GAWD.... They killed my dog!!! That's what I was thinking, but no. They bring her out to the room with a syringe of some brown stuff. Apparently, they had a hard time giving it to her and figured she would cooperate more if I did it.

SAY WHAT???

So I lean down while the girl holds her and have to shoot "half" the syringe in each nostril. HALF THE SYRINGE. What the fuck? She was squirming everywhere and I couldn't get the damn thing close to her nose. So I tell the girl that I will hold her and she can give her the stuff. I wrap myself around that damn dog like we were grecko-roman wrestlers. I wrap my arm around her head and grabbed her snout with my hand. The girl start to put it in one nostril, when Zoey blows the crap all over the place. Dog snot and medicine go flying all over the place (including me). Then the girl quickly jams it into the other nostril and finishes it off. Again with the snot flying everywhere.

I left the place covered in dog snot, sticky medicine, and dog hair all over me. OH JOY.... I figured screw it. I'm heading to work as I am. The first person that mentions something about the hair and snot all over me, I'm shoving a damn syringe in their nostril.

My dog was pissed. No, seriously like Royally pissed. I couldn't understand why she was so upset. She was barking and snapping at all the dogs afterwards. She was taking it out on anything around her. I then remembered that the syringe part was the last part of her traumatic visit. She was poked with needles, had her nails clipped and then a syringe shoved up both nostrils. No wonder she was so upset.

Luckiest person alive

I NEVER have this kind of luck.

Fluffy cotton balls

Life is too short. I spent the past couple of days thinking about life. I made time to stop and stare at the clouds. It's just been one of those weeks where I have been physically and emotionally drained.

I just want to pick some videos

I FINALLY got on board with the Netflix thing. I have held out long enough and now have ANOTHER monthly bill to add to my expenses. I must have the worst luck. Every time I try to add movies to my queue, the site goes down. I add a few and then the site is gone. This is the third time this has happened to me. Maybe it's a sign from the heavens that I need to not watch DVDs. Jeabus is telling me, "Enough with the TV. Go outside and enjoy the world."

Or maybe it's a big conspiracy from the bloodsucking dead donky ass licking COMCAST.I HATE that we have to use them as a cable provider. Life was wonderful when we were Time Warner. No complaints in the world. Then Comcast comes in and it sucks all the time. ALL THE TIME. I think they want me to watch videos on demand, so they break my connection with Netflix whenever I try to add movies to my queue.

Of course, they could just really suck as an Internet provider and all kinds of things are also broken right now. I should switch to AT&T's Universe. I hate that I am already giving those vampires my cell phone business, but I'm starting to run out of Internet options.

The Human Torch

You know who I envy? People that can eat chocolate in their hands and it doesn't melt. They just sit there and enjoy the candy at their own slow pace.

ME... The damn chocolate melts before it even hits my hand. I have this nasty smear of chocolate running everywhere. Even M&Ms melt in my hand. "Not in your hand" my ass. You know what? They do melt in your hand if you have combustible internal temperatures like I do.

I'm so afraid that one day, someone will come looking for me and all they will find is my fat ass scorch mark in my chair. Nothing left. I will just burst into flames.

I have ALWAYS run hot. I swear my temperature is hotter than 98.6, but I can never prove it with thermometers. They always say I'm normal. Anyone who has ever slept in the same bed as me will tell you otherwise. I'm a human torch.

Screw all you hand eating chocolate people out there. I want THAT ability.

Hypnotized by my faucet

If I owned a house, I would so get one of these.

My eyes...ze googles do nuthin

Lord No. Not as a cake.

Love me some monkey face

You know who I like as a band? A lot of bands, but today is this one in particular. Coldplay.

They have a new album coming out this month and they already released a couple of singles. The best song out there right now is Violet Hill.

Even better, they created a secret video on their website. It is one of the best videos I have seen.

It's more common than you think

I was reading a Ron Moore (Battlestar Gallatica creator) interview from Wired and discovered this gem.

-------------------------------------
Wired: You've been committed to those other forms, too. Webisodes, the blog, the podcasts. What's the importance of those?

Moore: Now I think they're almost expected. (...) The blog is more — I don't know what to do about the blog. I go back to the blog. I created my own blog. I do it in bursts, and then I fall away from it. I find myself without a lot to say sometimes, and that's a fatal flaw in the blogosphere evidently. You're supposed to say something whether it's of value or not.

Wired: The fatal flaw is that people do it anyway.

Moore: Yeah, I just don't have a lot to say. I don't have a topic for a blog, so I don't write one till I think of something or the mood hits me. But I think it's great that these things are all out there and available, and certainly any project I do from now on will take advantage of these platforms.
-------------------------------------

So now I feel SO MUCH better because it happens to everyone. See Internets... size doesn't matter. Oh wait, wrong topic.

Enough is enough

Ok Hill, let's make a deal. You just be a good girl and stop all this nonsense and I promise I'll help you find your sanity again. These constant delusions that you are winning the primary and leading this poll or that poll have to stop. I thought about it over the weekend and have a new theory as to why she is prolonging the inevitable.

She has early onset of Alsheimer's. This can be the only logical reason. I think she has it in her mind that it is still January and she keeps replaying that month over and over again in her head. Really, think about it... back then, she was practically guaranteed the nomination. Now, everything has changed and she snapped somewhere along the way.

At first, I kind of enjoyed watching her pain. I despised her so much because I know other women like her. I used to work with one woman that was EXACTLY like her. She would kill you with a smile and not even bat an eye. Now, I feel sorry for her. I can not even take any pleasure from the situation.

This has got to stop before you do any more damage to the party.

How do you get the flu in the summer?

Summer has officially started for me. The worst part is that I'm starting it sick. I HATE BEING SICK! This sucks. The good part is that I'm at least getting it out of the way. I'm off to New York in a few weeks so I should be over this crap by then.

The delusional fevers have passed, but I still have the crappy cough and sniffles. Oh joy...

Mean people suck... I mean I suck

Why am I such a hypocrite? I complain all the time about not having a large family and how my family is not very close. So I guess I'm not the only person feeling this way. I get this random e-mail from my cousin who lives in San Antonio. She mentions that she does not want to see the family loose touch with each other. We exchange contact information and she tells me that she is coming to Houston for a few days. I tell her that I would be out of town, but that I will be back by the weekend.

So on Friday she texts that she is on the way into town. I am already in town, but had a very busy day. For some reason I did not respond. I could have easily contacted her Saturday or Sunday. She even went to my parent's house on Sunday, but I was not there. I totally dissed her. Not on purpose, but subconsciously on purpose. I was just so tired all weekend, I didn't want to deal with family.

I'm such an asshole sometimes. The ADULT thing to do would have been to call her and tell her that I was exhausted and just wanted to rest during the weekend. I didn't do that. Nope, I played the "I don't see you" card and just ignored her text message.

I can not officially complain anymore about my family being so out of touch. I am just as much to blame as the rest of my family. Consider this my Internet confession if you will, but no amount of Hail Mary prayers will clear my conscious for how I acted this weekend.

All I could come up with today

I have tried three different topics for this post and each time I have erased them. What does that mean? I'm not too sure yet. I have a feeling, but I will wait and see. Anyway, I'll leave you with this for the day.

A husband and wife were preparing to celebrate their wedding anniversary when the husband turns to his wife and asks, "Where would you like to go for dinner?" The wife turns to her husband and says, "I don't care as long as it is expensive." So the husband takes them to the gas station.

Sumo Car Wash

Unfortunately, I can not choose "C" on this test

Okay. It's been a while. Time for some serious soul searching and revealing. I have been reading a lot about cleansing diets. I have been thinking hard about detoxing with them. Consider this a form of emotional cleansing if you will.

Have you ever been tested in life? I don't mean SAT or STD tested, I mean true deep down inner soul tested. They kind of test that can make you feel hopeless and lost in the end. I HAVE. Several times in life in fact. Each time I thought it was the worst test possible, but I have come to realize each test can ALWAYS be worse.

I have had my whole self being tested this past few months. Am I who I really think I am? Could I have been living a self delusional lie the past few years? I thought I had learned who I was as a person, but the past few months created a crack in my opinion of myself.

Why do you think people seek religion? At first I thought it was something that was taught to them at an early age and they stuck with the repetition because that's all they knew. How naive of me to think that something that simple was the cause of such faith and belief. I have met people that were the exact opposite of that situation. They never had religion growing up and felt they needed something more in their life to ground them. Some sort of guidance if you will.

I've become more of a spiritual person somewhere along the way and do not practice any sort of religion faithfully. I believe in a higher power. I'm not sure what happens to us when we die.

I find that I am losing my wit and that scares the bajebus out of me. I've always thought of myself as a funny and intelligent person. I found myself in situations lately and I had nothing witty to say. I had the perfect situations, the perfect setup, and nothing. Ten years ago, I could have said three of four different things in those situations. Now I can't think of funny things until after the fact. I'm slowing down... WHY?

I think it's like a closer in baseball games. The player puts so much stress on himself, that he does not perform well. I'm expecting myself to be funny or smart and just sit there like a idiot with a thumb up my ass. I think I need to take a solo vacation to get away from everything for a while.

Ice Ice Baby... I saw her standing there

I don't think I realized just how much of an influence I am on my daughter until today. I've seen her act certain ways or do certain things that remind me of how I was when I was younger.

Growing up I was different from my friends in several ways, but one in particular was my love for sixties and seventies music. This stems from the fact that I would constantly hear it from my parents ALL THE TIME. Every summer we would also go on road trips. We would listen to The Beatles, Three Dog Night, Beach Boys, Santana, and so many others all during the drives. That music was second nature to me.

I passed on this same trait to my daughter. I introduced her to The Beatles last year. She thought they were okay until she saw "Across the Universe". She then fell in love with The Beatles. Now I need to introduce her to the other artists of that generation. I have also been introducing her to 80's music. She likes some of it, but she finds some of it silly. I would agree, but it's 80's music. It's a classic now.

She has certain friends that are very similar and their parents must be doing the same thing with their children. My daughter told me today of how she was in Science class with four friends singing Beatles songs while working on a project. That's my girl!

Now if only I could get her to remix Beatles music with Vanilla Ice, we'd be in business.

Silence is golden

You know what I hate? Awkward silences.

They just suck the life out of any situation. One minute everyone is talking and the next SILENCE. I sometimes like to call out that silence with the phrase, "Well this is an awkward silence." This works about 75% of the time to break that silence or at least get a smile out of the people.

It really sucks when it's the other 25% who look at you stupid during an even longer awkward silence after that phrase. Damn if I'm going to try that line again during the extended awkward silence...

This isn't a movie theater folks, you KNOW you can talk don't you?

Was that a backhanded comment?

So my grandmother is in town for my sister's graduation. I have this issue with needy people (stronger lately than in my past). Anyway, take the most needy person you know and magnify that by 100. This is my loving grandmother. No matter how bad of a day you've had, she has had a worse day (and wants you to hear every part of it). She has been upset that we have not spent enough time with her or that we haven't visited her in a while.

So today we were all in the kitchen talking when she says tells this story of how when she fell and busted her chin. This was several months ago and I expressed my concern when the incident happened. But today she busts out with "My chin looked like yours when I busted it." We all looked at her like she was crazy. Then she explains that it was bleeding and they applied some type of adhesive to close the cut. She had a scab form and it was on her chin for a few days. She talked about how she was so embarrassed to have that on her chin that she couldn't leave the house. Then she points to my beard and says, it look just like that.

We all laugh and then I start to think about it. Did she just insult me to my face and I laughed at it? I see I have so much to learn from her still. Well played madam, well played...

Good thing I didn't ask for a knife

I know I've mentioned my parent's house in previous posts. The spooky crap that goes on there. Well tonight was one of those nights.

The whole family is in town for my sister's graduation. We were all sitting around the dinner table about to eat, when I noticed that my fork was missing. Which was weird because we realized that we had set two extra table settings so I had just removed them and made sure that all the other settings were correct. I figured that I must have removed one too many forks and asked my dad to bring another for me. I get my new fork and we all sit down to eat.

My family has a tradition of a prayer before meals. So my dad is saying the prayer (is is extremely quiet except for his prayer) when a fork drops from under the table right at my feet. Loud as can be. Everyone looks at me and I just look under the table. There it is. A fork that fell from a high distance because it landed on the rug and it made a loud noise. I looked at the table and my new fork is still sitting there. I freaked out.

Everyone thought I was messing with them and that I dropped the fork on purpose. I thought my daughter had dropped it to mess with me. She did not. I couldn't believe that no one else believed me. They were all calm except me. So I dropped the subject. They started messing with me about it and then the lights in the room would flicker. Just THAT room. At first it happened when my sister was messing with me about it. I told her to watch it because obviously that was a sign.

About 30 minutes later my dad is making fun of me and the lights did it again. THAT caught their attention. It was all quiet and then my grandmother (who has Alzheimer's) says "Did you not pay your light bill because your light keeps going off?".

That was too funny and she broke the silence. The funny part is that she was completely serious. I do not like their house and hate going over there alone. It just has this weird vibe to it.

You know what I like... winning

What is up with the Astros lately? They have a choice of either kicking ass or chewing bubble gum... I think they are all out of bubble gum.

Yet another 9th inning win. I'm loving this feeling, but the recent Rocket let down is still in the back of my mind. Like the abused sports fan that I am, I'll be back and waiting for them next year. In the mean time, the Astros know how to treat a sports fan right. You know what I'm saying? Are we even talking about sports anymore???

Juan Valdez runz dis place

Happy seis de Mayo! Oh wait, I think I'm kinda late to the party. I wish I owned a bar. I would kick it "real style" for Cinco de Mayo. I would give away free sombreros and have tequila contests. Of course there would be live donkeys... must have the live donkeys. Not for a show or anything... just to have walking around. You believe me right?

What are you doing here?

You know what's weird? When you are looking at your old high school social site and forget that your ex-wife used to go to your high school. We both have similar friends from high school and both have pages on this site.

Awkward moment in 3...2...1... No not yet, but I foresee some strange situation occurring soon.

Just Got Paid

Just got paid, Friday night
Party huntin', feelin' right
Body shakin', all around (Body shakin' all around)
No one thinks when I'm gettin' down

- Johnny Kemp

Waking up early sucks

Why is it that I feel like such a wimp when I don't stay up past midnight? I have successfully switched my sleep schedule to wake up earlier. I have figured out that if I try to run in the morning, I actually RUN in the morning. The afternoon running just isn't happening anymore (too many last minute distractions).

But by 10:30, I'm already falling asleep. I feel so old. SOOOO OLD.

Long time no see

I was going to post this yesterday, but you know how most Mondays go... You go out drinking and the next thing you know you wake up naked on the floor with a jar of peanut butter in your hand and opera music playing on your stereo (Typical Monday if you will). Okay I made up the last part, mostly.

Anyway, I digress. So how was your week so far? Good, good. Me? Oh not much other than finding out that one of my friends that I grew up with was charged with Terrorism and my day at work was rather busy.

YOU READ THAT RIGHT. CHARGED WITH TERRORISM. Actually, this happened a while back, so he pleaded guilty of terrorism for helping support the Taliban last year. Here in Houston. My friend. Well, FORMER friend. You read that FBI... FORMER FRIEND.

So I guess I should back this train way the fuck back and start from the beginning. I have a friend that sent me this link to an alumni site for my high school. I started to enter my information when it asks these arcane questions. What were your school's colors? What was your school's motto? Who the fuck knows that stuff? Um... I know we had blue, silver, and white on our jackets. And motto... how the hell am I supposed to remember our motto from a few... wait a COUPLE... of years ago.

So I start Googling the fuck out of the Internet to look for this information. What do you know? Someone created a Wikipedia entry for my high school. Of course, the dumb asses didn't put in the school colors or the motto. They did have a section of famous people that went to my high school. Oh yeah, we had our share of famous pro football and basketball players. And the last name on the list. My friend. Next to his name: "famous for aiding the Taliban..." blah blah blah.

I was like "what what"! But not the "in the butt" type of way, but just the "what what" type of way. Sorry, Southpark distraction there. Like I was saying... So I start Googling the fuck out of my friend. Surely, this is some mistake. Someone is messing with him because anyone can put anything on wikipedia.

NOPE.

It was true. It was in the Houston Chronicle. It was on all the local news. It was even in the New York Times. Fucking New York Times. In a terrorism sense, it was at the lowest level. A "class C" misdemeanor in the terrorism world, but it doesn't matter. How the hell do you go from a skater punk to terrorist in less than ten years?

So this is the scariest part (looks around). He was arrested in November of 2006. I've known this guy for a long, long time. I knew after high school he converted to Islam. I almost went to his wedding, but something came up and I couldn't make it. My roommate at the time went to his wedding. He even went to UHD and I bumped into him from time to time. We would catch up on times and then trade phone numbers to keep in touch. This was all several years ago. I had lost touch with him for a while.

Then I bumped into him out of the blue. Grocery shopping. We run into each other in the soda aisle. We catch up and he has the long ass beard growing. No big deal I think. I know he is a Muslim. We trade phone numbers and promise to really keep in touch this time. This was around October of 2006.

What the fuck. You know they had to have been on to him by then. They were probably tracking his communication. If I had called him or he called me, where the fuck would I be now? Some dark dank place being "interrogated"? I can guarantee that the US government doesn't have a "safety word" that I can utter to make them stop with the torture like Miss Leatherwhipsalot has with me.

The funny thing is that I thought about calling him last year and earlier this year. I've been thinking about old friends and I freaking still have his number in my phone. How awkward would that have been if I did call?

Me: "Hey man, it's been a while. What's up?"
Him: "Not much. Not much."
Me: "So, you wanna grab some beers and watch the game?"
Him: "I really can't right now because I'm being gang banged in prison at the moment."

That would have been an awkward moment on the phone. Seriously, he was a fucking terrorist. What the fuck is my life coming to? How the hell do you top that one at the reunion? Oh so you make a quadrillion dollars, but did you hear that so and so was a terrorist?

Step one, pack box

I hate moving. Actually, it's not the moving so much as the packing. Whether it's a full apartment or a little office, I hate packing. I think this is why I am still in my current place. I am too lazy to pack my crap and move. Well, that and the fact that I love my place and the proximity to the bars / restaurants (In no particular order. LYING. In that exact particular order).

Now back to my oh so joy packing adventures.

Would you also like coffee with that request?

I have turned off word verification on request and am now able to be spammed by Gawd and all the world. I feel so dirty now. The things I do for just a little attention. I'm not an attention whore, ya hear me? NOT AN ATTENTION WHORE...

Don't get me wrong. I am a whore, just not an attention whore. What is the male version of whore? Man-whore? Oh wait, that's right, it's a man. I'm a man.

It's only a suggestion

There is a "special" spot in Hell for me. I can tell because of the looks I received yesterday. We were partying, no wait, CELEBRATING a Catholic church bazaar yesterday. Drinking a little, eating a little, basic gluttony if you will. The whole thing revolves around tokens to deceive you on the cost of items. The other part of the "catch" is that you have all these extra tokens that are hard to get rid off.

So we are sitting around enjoying ourselves when I tell my friend, "Why don't you just drop them back in the collection plate tomorrow during mass. Consider it giving 'back' to the church."

You would think that I just picked up a cute kitten, ripped it's head off, and drank the blood in front of all the people there. My friend was laughing, but those around us gave me the dirtiest look. Tough crowd.

I guess it didn't help that I had a beer in each hand while saying this. It's not my fault they only sold the beer in 12 oz glasses and I was too lazy to walk back and forth to the beer booth.