Looking in from the outside

I can not believe I have not created any entries since March 27th. In fact, I haven't really been reading other people's blogs since that time frame either. I don't know why I get like this sometimes. I know I've been super busy lately, but that is no excuse. Seriously, how long does it take to create a new entry ( a few minutes?). There have been plenty of times that I wanted to put something down in writing, but for some reason I did not.

Anway, I digress...

I guess all this talk of death lately has me thinking hard about my life. And you know what? My life has never been more clear to me. I know I'm probably deluding myself, but it does seem to make sense right now. I used to feel so lost all the time. I still don't know what life has in store for me, but I'm okay with that thought. I like not knowing. It makes life much more interesting.

I put so much pressure on myself all the time. Everyone knows the constant phrase, "Would you feel ready to go if you were to die today?" And I do (to some extent). Sure I have a lot I want to still accomplish, but just the fact that I try my best to live life everyday makes me feel complete. Crap... Now I sound like one of those inspirational posters. I hate those posters... they seem so fake to me.

So if you see someone walking around with a little extra "pep", that's probably me. I just hope that this feeling is constant and not some temporary form of insanity. Who am I kidding... my level of insanity would never be labeled "temporary". It really does feel like I'm on the outside looking into someone else's life. Oh well, I'll enjoy this ride while it lasts.