Daniel 1 Spider 0

I was driving home from work today when something caught my eye. I glance over to the passenger side and there is this HUGE wolf spider staring right back at me. He was on the passenger door and just froze. This thing was huge (his body was around 1/2 an inch and his legs spread out made him look even bigger). I just turned right at a stop light and pulled into the next available street.

"Oh it's on mister spider. You can attack me at my home, you can attack me at work, but I'll be damned if you try to invade my car space."

"????" Spiders don't talk, so he just kept staring at me.

I started to panic because I couldn't find anything to kill it with.
Old football ticket. Hell no... too flimsy.
CD. Nope, unless I use my ninja-foo and through it like a shirken.
Change. No... too risky. He would probably dodge the flying coins.
Napkin. Shit no. Too close to contact. His humongous fangs could puncture the napkin and hit my fingers.

But fuck, my best option was the napkin, so I ball it up to add some layers between me and those fangs. All the while he is frozen on the door just staring at me. It was a Mexican stand off... Then suddenly he starts running. Fast like fucker. He is heading for the back seat. Shit... if he makes it, I'll lose him for sure. I ain't driving home not knowing his location.

I lunge for him and he runs in the other way. Yeah bitch... you're mine now. What the... he leaps toward me.
I don't know if it's some sort of auto-reflex but I smack him out of the air and towards the floor. He's disoriented for a second so I make my move. I try to squish him but just catch his side. He's still running toward the door. I open the door and reach for him again. I miss... but he balls up at the edge of the door.

You can't play possum with me sucker. I've seen way to many hitman movies to fall for that one. One in the head for good measure. I reach down for the final blow when he falls out the door. Damn it... couldn't be sure I got him for good. I immediately close the door and speed off.

I hate spiders. I really hate spiders that have the nerve to enter my car space. How the hell did he get in? I'm tempted to buy one of those foggers and release it in my car. Fuck, I hate spiders. I just wish I got him for sure.