Move over google

Goodbye google search hello Ms. Dewey.

Well, not really because she does get rather annoying after some time and the search is dog slow. I must admit it's more interesting than looking at a static page though.

N Dey Say

I used to think that life had a plan for me
until I realized life had to be planned by me
see that's the key I only deal with what I can see
cuz over history, mystery brought us nothin but misery

-Nelly

Stressful situations

I have under a lot of stress lately at work. This is not uncommon in my environment. Being under stress doesn't bother me, but how I reacted to it did bother me. I found myself snapping at my coworker more than usual today. I realized my bad attitude and adjusted it rather quickly. I am just upset that it slipped out in the first place.

I have worked really hard to not let things like this affect my attitude. I thought that I had it under control, but it slipped out today. My pride got the better of me today. I did not like not knowing the answer to a problem and my coworker found a solution to the problem. Why did that bother me so much? It's impossible for me to know everything. In fact, he is just as knowledgeable in computers as me.

But it bothered me... really bad. I had to step back several times and re-think my behavior. We are both under a lot of pressure lately and I can imagine it will only get worse in the next few weeks during this adjustment period. I think I will have to seriously look at myself more closely. It's time for a behavior analysis.

Can't sleep knowing the Chupacabra is out there...

Strep sneak attack

Wow. Looking back, I just realized that I have not posted anything here in almost a week. I've been extremely busy at work lately and I have been trying my hardest to fight this damn sickness that is plaguing our city.

I know so many people who have caught strep and it appears to have hit my work area. I've been trying to avoid it, but I had a sore throat this afternoon. I feel exhausted and instantly took Airborne. I think that stuff was made by the gods. It works so well. Words can not describe the effectiveness of that stuff.

Anyway, I'm trying to build up some strength (come on white blood cells, do your thing) and not let it get worse. I don't think I have strep (knocking on wood with all extremities crossed). I should have the fever by now.

I can afford to get sick right now. I will go down fighting this stupid sickness.

Done deal

I've had this wild hair up my ass the past few months and wanted something different with my hair. Not much I can do with it, so I decided to let it grow out. I was after that whole 70's look that seems to be in style right now. I can say the experiment was a success, but the result was a failure. It looked like shit. It probably didn't look that bad, but it didn't look the way I wanted it to look. I was frustrated with it every morning for the past three months.

Today was the day. I cut it all off again. Well, not ALL off. I went back to the hair style that seems to work for me. I realized from this experiment that some people just can't do long hair. I look better with short hair and that's that.

You know it's bad when the hair stylist tells you, "Some people just look better with short hair, ya know?" Sometimes I wish I was double jointed. It would make pulling the knife out of your back so much easier.

I really didn't care what others thought of my hair. I've had a couple of co-workers tell me to my face that my long hair is just ugly. Damn, you gotta respect their honesty. Especially when I didn't ask for their honesty. Well, I know who to ask now whenever I want the truth.

So... I'm back to short hair. Of course, I am still after that change. My next thought... shave it all off. Or dye it some color. I'll stick to this style for a few months and see how I feel.

Techno burnout

I've heard tails of people experiencing techno burnout. They worked in IT for a while and then suddenly just quit. Move off to New England and become whale fisherman. Or others that go off to become lumberjacks. The point is... they go off and do non-technical jobs.

I always thought that I would never be one of those people. I love technology way too much to just give it all up and walk away. My mom used to always tell me "never say never".

I think she was right. I'm starting to feel this burn out sensation and wonder what is it all for? I use some sort of technology daily, but I do think I could give it all up and just walk away from it all.

Perhaps, I just need a vacation. It's been a while and work has been extremely hectic lately. I need to just get away for a weekend or so and go camping. Back to nature and all. My next few weekends look booked, but early November seems free. I need to just pick a date and not give in to all my other demands.

Opa!!

I experienced my first Greek Festival this weekend. I spent last night drinking wine, eating gyros, and watching Greek dancing. It was fun and I'm definitely going again next year. It was crowded as hell, but we still managed to find a place to eat and actually had some good seats to watch the dancing. Some of the people that got up to dance were pretty funny.

I think next year I'm going to have to go up there and dance. I would probably need more wine though.

My IQ is dropping as fast as Bush's approval rating

I looked over some of my old posts and realized that I am really having a hard time with "throw" and "threw" lately. I keep wanted to type "through". It's kind of weird because I quickly proof read the post before submitting it, but those words still slip through (made myself self conscious now and had to check that last word a couple of times).

I feel as if my grammer is somehow getting even worse as I am growing older. It's as if my lack of classes and schooling lately has made me out of shape mentally. It's been six years since I graduated from college. I think I should start looking into graduate school now. It just feels wrong to not be studying late into the night and cramming for exams.

My last ex was in school during our relationship so I would help her all the time with her work or studying. It's been a while now and I think I'm having education withdrawls.

Good Lord help me. I'm getting more stupid by the moment.

Another member of the "I hate Daniel" club

Okay, so I mentioned yesterday about me and the old lady going at it. I really don't know if she's 90, but I know she is older than dirt. In fact, I think she is just a bunch of ash held together by death itself. The day the lady and I had it out was actually for a similar reason as the guy yesterday (must be me).

This old lady lives at the other end of my street. She would walk her dog every day and this dog was just as old as she was. This dog would get tired by the time they got to the end of the street and she would carry the dog back to her apartment. Anyway, one day she stopped walking the dog. I assume it was time for the dog to "head for the light Carol Anne". I think this made her more bitter (assumptions here. I love making an ass out of u and mptions).

One day I was walking my dog and I was wearing head phones. As I was walking, I see her walking toward me waving frantically. I thought, "Wow. This nice old lady is waving at me." (Sadly, I really did think this at the time) I took off my headphones to talk to her and she started yelling at me.

Daughter of Death: "Don't ignore me!"
Me: "What?"
Dod: "I was trying to talk to you but you kept ignoring me."
Dod: "I don't want you to walk your dog around here. You keep leaving her poop in the grass and I keep stepping in it."
Me: "Did you see me leave any poop in the grass? I pick up after my dog."
Dod: "I don't care! I don't want you to let her use the bathroom in the grass."
Me: "I don't give a damn what you want. Unless, you see me leaving her shit in the grass, don't accuse me of doing it."
Dod: "I won't tell you again, quit walking her in our yard." (She turns around and starts to walk back inside)
Me: "Shut the fuck up. I'll walk her where I want to walk her."

I continue walking her in the yard and had the "I dare you to come back outside" stare on my face. The problem is that her neighbors let their dogs out and they shit in the grass, then they go back inside. She is not stupid. She knows this, everyone on the street sees it happening. She is just looking for someone to blame. She rents an apartment just like everyone else, so it's not like this is her house or something.

I know I didn't have to act the way I did, but that is my trigger. When people think they can talk to me like they've known me for years. I ain't your bitch... don't talk to me like that.

Anyway, she hasn't talked to me since then. I've accomplished my goal and sent her on her way. I think the biggest part of the problem is the area I live in. It is mostly made up of spoiled people. They are probably used to Mexicans being the yard guys or help staff, so they can talk to them however they want. Well, I'm showing them the other side of the Mexican. The mother fucker that will stab you in the back as you walk away. I'm tired of trying to blend in with this crowd around here. Either talk to me with respect or don't talk to me at all.

I try to be nice

I try to be nice most of the time. I really do, but sometimes people give me reason to just go off. Today was one of those days. There are certain people in this world that think they can say whatever they want to anyone. I call them assholes. You don't know me bitch. Don't think you can just talk to me like that. I also call men bitches when they act like that.

I was walking my dog around the apartments at the end of the block when this guy stops his cell phone conversation and demands. "Don't let your dog shit around here." Oh I know you didn't. There was a very heated exchange. The end of the conversation went like this:

Me: "Do you own this property?"
Asshole: "No, but I do live here."
Me: "I don't give a fuck if you live here, do you own this property?" (Me tensing up ready to swing Zoey's dog leash around his neck)
Asshole: "No"
Me: "Then don't fucking talk to me like you own this property."
Asshole: "OK"

That threw me for a loop. He just stops the conversation and starts talking on his cell phone again. I was speechless after that. I just let my dog circle around the grass. I was just hoping she would take a big old dump in front of his face. He would just stare me down and I was just staring him down. All the while letting my dog walk all over the grass.

It was definitely a teritorial thing with me. Don't try to be an Alpha male with me because I will smack your ass down. Where I come from you go down swinging. I may not win every fight, but I never back down from one if you try to punk me. I continued walking down the street and made sure I turned back around and walked her right in front of him again. All the while I just stared at him. He didn't say a word to me again after that. Why do people make me get so ugly at times?

The funny thing is, if he had just asked me nicely I would have explained that I pick up after my dog. I have bags that are attached to her leash for those very moments. I understand what it's like to walk in dog shit, so I pick up after her. I'm sure it would have been a much nicer conversation. But noooo... I guess I have one more enemy on the block. I can add this one to the 90 year old lady down the street. Don't even get me started with that one. I don't care if your 20 or 90, I'll curse you out just the same.

Delta

I watched this movie tonight called "Committed" with Heather Graham and Luke Wilson. I thought it was pretty good. She kind of reminded me of my type of personality. Now that I think about it, I don't know if that's a good thing.

Anyway, there was this line in the move when she says, "It feels like I'm telling a joke, but no one is laughing. I keep telling the joke though because I like the joke."

That's kind of how I feel my life is right now. Sometimes it feels like no one understands my life. I have worked very hard to discover myself the past year. This self discovery stuff is all new to me. I spent almost all of my life worrying about other people and their feelings. It is much harder worrying about my own feelings first, but also worrying about the feelings of others. Deep down inside I kind of feel like an asshole if I don't consider the feelings of others. The only problem is not letting those feelings override my own feelings.

I was talking to a friend today when I mentioned that I feel this deep need for change. What kind of change, I'm not sure. But I have been trying to figure it out for a while now. I kept chasing this feeling. But every time I thought I got close to the answer, it would feel even further away. I realized today that I just need to live my life and it quit chasing this feeling. When it's ready to show itself, it will come to me.

Damn rambling again... that's one aspect of me that never seems to go away.

So long and thanks for all the fish

Well, I guess it just wouldn't be right for me to not comment on the Astros. They gave it a good run until the end. They basically beat themselves yesterday. I tried my best to give them as much juju as possible, but nothing worked. I wore all three of my Astros caps (inside and out). Nothing. I stood up through the innings. Nothing. I sat down through the innings. Nothing. I then realized that this was not our destiny this year. Like how I used "our" like I was playing on the field with them?

So, with that said. I would like to thank the Astros for giving us a good last couple of weeks and see ya again next year. And what's with all this steroid talk lately? Come on... give them a break. They just realized that they are not going to be playing in the post season this year.

I will still proudly wear my Astros jersey and caps for I am a loyal fan. Win or lose... they are my team.

Daniel 1 Spider 0

I was driving home from work today when something caught my eye. I glance over to the passenger side and there is this HUGE wolf spider staring right back at me. He was on the passenger door and just froze. This thing was huge (his body was around 1/2 an inch and his legs spread out made him look even bigger). I just turned right at a stop light and pulled into the next available street.

"Oh it's on mister spider. You can attack me at my home, you can attack me at work, but I'll be damned if you try to invade my car space."

"????" Spiders don't talk, so he just kept staring at me.

I started to panic because I couldn't find anything to kill it with.
Old football ticket. Hell no... too flimsy.
CD. Nope, unless I use my ninja-foo and through it like a shirken.
Change. No... too risky. He would probably dodge the flying coins.
Napkin. Shit no. Too close to contact. His humongous fangs could puncture the napkin and hit my fingers.

But fuck, my best option was the napkin, so I ball it up to add some layers between me and those fangs. All the while he is frozen on the door just staring at me. It was a Mexican stand off... Then suddenly he starts running. Fast like fucker. He is heading for the back seat. Shit... if he makes it, I'll lose him for sure. I ain't driving home not knowing his location.

I lunge for him and he runs in the other way. Yeah bitch... you're mine now. What the... he leaps toward me.
I don't know if it's some sort of auto-reflex but I smack him out of the air and towards the floor. He's disoriented for a second so I make my move. I try to squish him but just catch his side. He's still running toward the door. I open the door and reach for him again. I miss... but he balls up at the edge of the door.

You can't play possum with me sucker. I've seen way to many hitman movies to fall for that one. One in the head for good measure. I reach down for the final blow when he falls out the door. Damn it... couldn't be sure I got him for good. I immediately close the door and speed off.

I hate spiders. I really hate spiders that have the nerve to enter my car space. How the hell did he get in? I'm tempted to buy one of those foggers and release it in my car. Fuck, I hate spiders. I just wish I got him for sure.

This is the big day

This is it... either do or die. The Astros are still 1.5 games back from St. Louis. Basically we need to win and St. Louis needs to lose. It boils down to that. If that happens, then it's out of our hands and we wait to see what happens.

My stomach is twisted in knots today. Go Astros...

No means no!!!