Route 66 - Day Three

Have you ever thought about something for so long, that it was almost a fantasy? This has happened to me several times in my life. Each time, reality popped my bubble hard and fast. I thought the Empire State building was going to be huge. I also thought the Statue of Liberty was going to be this gigantic thing. Nope and nope. I also thought that Hollywood was this glamorous place with movie stars all over the place. Nope. My memory of Hollywood will always be walking around Mann's Chinese Theater at night with a bum peeing all over the stars and asking for money. Yeah, real glamorous.

The latest bubbles popped. Route 66 and Roswell. I thought there would still be some glamour to the Route 66 passage. It has long faded and is mostly ghost towns and abandoned shops / gas stations. It is really sad to tell you the truth. And the whole Roswell, NM alien thing. Yeah, there are alien crap all over the place, but only for commercial purposes. The local people thought I was a freak taking pictures of everything (well based on the number of stares and finger pointing). The UFO museum was a joke, but I am glad I did it. I finally got it out of my system. I have been trying to come here for the past fifteen years. It's done now. I can check it off my list. I decided to make the best of this town and got into the whole corny alien thing.

I'm ready to move on and as of tomorrow I think I'm heading back to Texas. Next stop, San Antonio or Austin. Whichever city strikes my mood tomorrow. Was this trip worth it? Of course. I saw some amazing sites and got a chance to learn more about this great country. I want to travel the world, but I also want to make sure I see as much of my own country as possible. I still have three weeks of vacation left this year, so I have plenty of time to find other places to travel. Right now, I miss my bed and the privacy of my own home.

I'm back in another "cheap" motel. I just love it when my room has a door that connects to some other stranger on the other side. Happy happy, Joy joy. I can hear everything they do and say and I'm sure they can hear me. Ha, jokes on them when I go to sleep and my snoring keeps them awake. "Shut up!" (throws pillow). Oh, the memories.

On a totally different note, I have been contemplating the existence of God lately. I have always believed in some higher power. Any 12 steppers out there should know that familiar term. Anyway, I wonder what is the purpose of this life? I have been watching the series Torchwood (Dr. Who spinoff) and they constantly mention that there is no afterlife. Just darkness. Is this all there is in life? If so, then perhaps I should be making the best of it and not be so afraid. I grew up in a fearful household. Don't sin, you'll go to hell! Sorry mom, too late for that. But I have been afraid of rejection and that has led to me settling for some of my life choices. I have a wonderful job, but it's not what I want to do for my ultimate career. I would love to be able to work from home and do some sort of computer security for a living. Make my own hours and take time off whenever I want. I have also wanted to live someplace else. New York, San Francisco, or even Austin. I guess it boils down to fear of failure more than anything else. Why am I so afraid to fail? I'm not perfect after all. Everyone fails at some point, why not me?

Can you believe I almost went into a church today? I wanted to go into one of those really old Catholic churches and light a candle for myself. Is that allowed? Normally, you go to light a candle for someone else. I should have known it was a sign when the church was closed for the next couple of days. Have you ever seen a Catholic church closed for two whole days? Yep, it's a sign. Supposedly, they were having the floors redone and had to close the church. That's fine. Didn't want to go into your church anyway. I figured since the church was established in 1706, it would have some special kind of candle powers. Doesn't it work that way? The older the church, the more powerful the prayer candles are.

Yeah, some more philosophical bullshit for the day. You gotta get used to it this week. This is part of the trip. I find that alcohol can make my rambling sound more enlightening. Let's play a game, shall we? Every time I use the word "trip", you take a shot of tequila. Trip, trip, trip. See, that wasn't so bad. Was it?