Daniel: 1 Mockingbird: 0

I swear if you swoop at me one more time it's on...

There must be a mockingbird nest somewhere around my driveway because this damn bird has been a pest for the last few days now. I have been gracious and ignored the screeching and flybys, but a man can only restrain himself so far. Today was the straw that broke my back.

I was walking my dog and the damn thing drops to the ground and challenges my dog. Being a dog, she was like "Look, breakfast is walking right up to me." She charges at that damn bird and she must have pissed it off even more. So we walk off and down the street and my dog does her normal dog thing. Upon our return to the house, that damn bird starts swooping low and not at my dog anymore. The damn bird was challenging me.

Umm.. excuse me Mr. Mockingbird, but you obviously don't know me or else you wouldn't be swooping on me like that. I start swinging my bag of fresh dog doo at that damn bird and it kept coming back. Aight... you wanna play... let's play.

I then proceed to pick up rocks and start chunking them at this damn bird. I guess the damn thing has never had rocks thrown at it before because it just stood there for the first one and I almost hit him. He caught on real quick but kept following us (screeching and swooping). The alpha male in me was not about to just walk away from a damn Mockingbird challenge, so I start picking up even bigger rocks and chase the damn bird around. Each throw my aim was getting better. He finally got the message and flew off down the street.

My neighbors must think I'm crazy. "Look at that damn Mexican fool running down the street throwing rocks at that bird."