The Human Torch

You know who I envy? People that can eat chocolate in their hands and it doesn't melt. They just sit there and enjoy the candy at their own slow pace.

ME... The damn chocolate melts before it even hits my hand. I have this nasty smear of chocolate running everywhere. Even M&Ms melt in my hand. "Not in your hand" my ass. You know what? They do melt in your hand if you have combustible internal temperatures like I do.

I'm so afraid that one day, someone will come looking for me and all they will find is my fat ass scorch mark in my chair. Nothing left. I will just burst into flames.

I have ALWAYS run hot. I swear my temperature is hotter than 98.6, but I can never prove it with thermometers. They always say I'm normal. Anyone who has ever slept in the same bed as me will tell you otherwise. I'm a human torch.

Screw all you hand eating chocolate people out there. I want THAT ability.