Where has the time gone

Well, it's definitely been a while since my last posting. So much has
occurred and I don't even know where to begin. My six weeks with my
daughter has come to an end and she is back with her mother now.
This part of her stay is the hardest for sure. There is the
traditional adjustment period to get used to the quiet in the
apartment again. I really enjoyed having her stay with me the past
few weeks. I have mixed feelings because I do miss having her here,
but I also am exited because I can finally start dating full force
again. It is extremely hard to date when you are a single parent so
the last six weeks I just focused my time on my daughter.

I also spent the last couple of weeks with my family in Florida. We
all took a trip together to Orlando (Disney World, NASA, Universal
Studios). We had a blast, but it was one of those vacations that take
their toll. I definitely had my fair share of stressful moments
because when you spend ten days with your family day and night it is
going to affect you emotionally. My daughter had a blast and I
choose to go with my family for my daughter's sake. A few months ago
we were going to go to South Padre Island as a family (my ex and I),
but of course things changed since then. So we decided to go to
Florida instead. I think I will still take my daughter to the Island
at the end of the summer. Even if it is just the two of us, I think
we will have a blast.

The best part of the trip was the time I spent realizing the kind of
person I wanted to have in my future relationships. I have a
wonderful opportunity now to find the person I want to have in my
life and I have no rush to jump into another failed relationship. I
am changing as a person and I know what qualities I want in a
partner. That is not to stay that my last girlfriend was a bad
person, we just had fundamental problems that we didn't work out to
well. We could have made it work, but at what cost? Our foundation of
the relationship was cracked and we were both going down if we stayed
in the relationship. She is definitely a wonderful person and I hope
she finds someone that will realize just how special she is as a person.

I know this posting is rather long, but I have so many thoughts
running through my head. I can't keep up with them and I try to get
them down as fast as I can. I was talking to a friend yesterday and
he mentioned that he found my blog site. It then hit me that I have a
lot of intimate thoughts in my blogs. Then I started thinking, oh
crap anybody in the world could be reading these thoughts. There are
so many people that do not realize I have these kind of thoughts. I
try to keep these moments to myself usually and I rarely share them
with others. So what makes me post these thoughts so freely on the
Internet? Well, I guess I am tired of trying to present this image of
myself for the world. I really don't care what other people think of
me and if they think differently of me after reading these postings,
then fuck them. My new philosophy in life is "So Freaking What?".
Life is way to short to worry so much about other people's thoughts
and as long as I am happy then I will continue to do as I please.

The great leaders in history didn't sit on the sidelines and watch
the game. They were not only in the game, but gave it everything they
had. I will be one of these great leaders in life and I challenge
anyone to tell me anything different.