Trust your instinct

You know, I have to trust my instincts more often. I think they are there for a reason and sometimes you just need to stick to your guns and not back down.

I had this problem a long time ago with an ex-girlfriend stalking me. Seriously stalking me... She tried to convince my roommates at the time that I wanted her to come over and let her stay in my room while I was away. Fortunately for me, my roommate had enough sense to not let her in. I freaked out when he told me and told them that she was to never come inside while I was away. She also had this thing of calling between 2:00 AM - 5:00 AM several times a week.

Well, my girlfriend at the time (now ex-girlfriend) did not like her calling me at those hours. As I look back on it now, I think it was more of a insecurity issue with her and not trusting me. I would usually just ignore the calls and just delete the voicemails. It became a habit to set my phone on silent late at night and just ignore her. I figured she would just go away in time. Well, that was not good enough for her. She wanted me to change my phone number. I refused at first, but eventually gave in. She thought that I was taking my ex's side since I would not change my number. I do not like changing my ways for others.

I'm not stubborn (well actually I am, but this was not one of those times). I had that phone number for a long time and I knew it was out there with a lot of people that I have not spoken to in a while. I could not reach some of them, but I figured if they could reach me if needed. This seemed very logical to me. Logic does not go well in relationships. I have learned that the hard way.

So... you are probably wondering what the hell all of this has to do with the present. I received a call from a really good friend recently. It has been at least five years since I have talked to him. He found my number in one of his old phones and gave me a call to see if it was the same number. I lost his number a long time ago with all the phone conversions in the past few years. I recently switched phone providers and toyed with the idea of switching numbers. Start with a clean slate and all.

Well my instinct told me that I have had this number for a while, so perhaps I should keep the number the same. Just pay the damn money to switch your number over to the new provider. And now I get a call from him and we are going to start hanging out again. Catch up on old times.

I don't know. I seem to have lost my trust in myself in the past year or so. The little things like this reinforce the trust I have with my instincts.