I wonder if I'm a great father. I know I'm a good dad, but am I a great dad? I've spent a lot of time thinking about this question this past weekend. It's really not that hard being a good dad. I just need to make sure all of my daughter's basic needs are provided for her. But to be a great dad, it takes a whole lot more work. I have to try and communicate with her even if she is at that age where she is not so vocal. Life was wonderful when she was a little girl. She would talk non stop when she was little. Now, not so much. I try to relate and talk about my life and my feelings. I want her to understand that I am human just like her. I want her to know that she can talk to me about anything. She says she understands, but does she "really" understand? I just don't know.
Being a parent is a wonderful thing. People without children just don't know what it's like to be so proud of your child. To see her smiling and laughing brings joy to my heart. All of the sacrifices that I have made by being a dad at such a young age are well worth it.
I hope she looks back on her life when she is older and remembers the special moments we've had together. Kubos, camping, and softball are special just between us.
What brings all of this up? Well, I know my dad did his best raising me and Lord knows that I did not make it easy on him. I just think there is so much I missed out in life because he didn't communicate with me when I was younger. My parents followed that old school philosophy of silent love. I knew they loved me, but it was never spoken. My parents never taught me about sex or relationships. I guess all of the "bad" things they caught me with in my childhood made them realize just how much I already knew about sex so they figured there as no need to discuss it with me.
My parents were also high school sweethearts and married right out of high school. That can mess a person up mentally when you think that is what you are supposed to do to have a successful relationship. I'm still fighting those demons on a daily basis. I want my daughter to know that there are all kinds of relationships out there in the world. She may not meet mister "right" and live happily ever after. I want her to realize that relationships are hard work. At the same time, I don't want to scare the living bejesus out of her.
I know I'm over-analyzing everything as I usually do. I know I'm a great dad, but the little voice in my head creates the doubt as usual. I will just continue to do what I do and hope for the best.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
My guess is that if you didn't have doubts, you wouldn't be a very good father.
Good point. With as much doubt in my mind, I must be a damn good father. Talk about flipping from one extreme to the other.
Post a Comment