Christmas is here, bringing good cheer

What better way to start the day than with a cup of Embarrassment.

I just finished walking my stupid dog for 30 minutes. Mind you, thirty minutes ago, it was dark outside. (I feel there should be a semi-colon somewhere in there instead of two commas). Anyway, back to the story. So I work a twelve hour shift yesterday and eat some food around 9:30 last night. I was so tired, I crashed around 10:00 last night. Out like a log. I wake up at 6:30 this morning. Very, very unusual for me. So I'm up but still groggy and have this stupid idea to walk my dog at that time.

I figure, "Who the hell will see me at 6:30 in the morning? Besides, it's dark outside so it doesn't really matter much." Um, yeah. No one told me day break starts around that time. I normally don't wake up until after 7:00, so the daylight has already arrived when I wake up.

So what do I wear? Oh, I throw on these frumpy old shorts that are two sizes too large and this tight ass t-shirt that is two sizes too small. Can you mentally picture the awkward looking wardrobe I'm describing? I looked like some kind of freak human bell. My shorts were swaying all over the place and I kept pulling at my shirt because man boobs just aren't made to be contained.

I thought it would be a quick one minute walk and back inside. Do your business dog and let's go. Nope, fate had a different idea for me this morning. So we are walking in the darkness and she refuses to go back inside. I pull at her and she pulls back. This is a sign from her she still has to go some more. So we walk. And we walk. And walk somemore.

Next thing I know we are at the other end of the block and here comes daylight. Fucking neighbors everywhere are morning people. So I'm ringing my bells shorts all over the street while saying hi to all these people. All the while, it looks like I could pull an Incredible Hulk with my shirt at any minute.

So, what's the lesson for the day kiddies? Always look somewhat presentable when going out in public. You never know what may happen. Either that or just accept the situation and rock those bell shorts like the Carol of the Bells.