Shift Shocked

I wear boxers. I'm a boxer kind of guy. I wear the occasional briefs when I run or on occasion the boxer briefs. I know you're probably wondering why the hell I'm posting my underwear preference on the Internet. Well, It has to do with what happened today.

I wear boxers all the time. I have these soccer shorts that I love wearing because they are the most comfortable shorts ever. So I wear my boxers with these shorts. Sometimes I look like a dork because my boxers hang longer than my shorts. I usually either A) don't care or B) pull my shorts down a little to hide the boxers. Well, the material of the shorts are lightweight and so are some of my boxers. There are times when my boxers shift under my shorts. I'm a guy. I just adjust my boxers through my shorts. I have a problem and I fix it. Think of it as a front wedgie of sorts.

I was walking my dog and felt my boxers out of whack so I started to shift it. MOTHER BITCH... I went to pull on my boxers and I grabbed some of my pubic hair with the boxers. I pulled hard as hell. I wanted to sit on the sidewalk and cry. It hurt like a mother fucker.

The worst part. Now I'm shift shocked. I just deal with any boxer shifting and don't even go near the whole pubic region. Have you ever had your pubes pulled? It's like being kicked in the balls, but reversed. And what do you do to help them not hurt so bad? I can't ice it down. I'm so screwed for the next couple of hours.