Road Least Traveled

What's death and my situation have in common? It's a jouney that only I alone can take in the end. I have no idea of what I'm doing and I know it may not turn out exactly as I thought it would. But the final destination is not what is important to me, it's the journey that I need to go through to help me learn about myself.

I am looking for something. I don't know what it is and I may never find whatever "it" is. I just know that I have been feeling this searching feeling for far too long. I know I can not trust my instincts right now. The secret is that I KNOW I can not trust them. That is the important part. I know exactly what I'm doing (good / bad), but I don't know WHY I do the things I do.

I'm not expecting anything from anyone. All I have ever asked is to be accepted for who I am as an individual. This post has nothing to do with anyone other than myself. I have had a very rough evening and want to reflect on my actions and the consequences of those actions.

I can truly say that I have a wonderful set of friends that have helped me more than I could ever explain in words. I appreciate everything they have done for me. I hope they know deep down inside how special they are to me.

I must make this journey alone. I will survive this tribulation. I always seem to find a way to get through those moments in the past. This one is no different. The actors are the same, but the play is different.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Road Less Traveled - Robert Frost