Ever have one of those creepy doctors before? You know the ones I'm talking about... they are usually older, fat, and plain weird. They give you the heeby jeebies just looking at them.
When I first saw him, I thought to myself, "Didn't I see you on a child molesting poster somewhere?" The dude was big. I'm no small guy, but he was at least twice my size. He towered about a foot over me and had about 150 pounds over me easily.
While we were alone in the room, my only thoughts were, "Please don't rape me, please don't rape me". I don't want to have to point to a doll and show the people where the mean man touched me.
I was sitting in a chair when he entered the exam room and he came over to where I was to check out my symptoms. He then starts to lean in to check my ears and what not. He has these big ass goggle looking things on and gets closer and closer. I start to feel WAY TOO UNCOMFORTABLE for this situation, so I start to back away. The closer he gets, the more I back away. I guess he feels the awkwardness and tells me to sit on the paper sheet exam table. Shit... this is it. He's going to knock me out with some kind of drug and I'll see myself on some crazy YouTube video out on the Internets.
I slowly get on the table while keeping one eye on him the whole time. I slowly lay back, but never take an eye off him. I want to see it when he tries to drug me. He checks my ears some more and my throat. He then says, "Ok. That's it". That's it. I was on the table a whole 30 seconds. You know all my problems from that 30 seconds? He writes some prescriptions and then is off.
Yeah... I'm on to you old creepy fat doctor. You couldn't sneak up on me, so you gave up. Damn this HMO insurance of mine. The old creepy doctors are the only ones left that will take my insurance anymore.
The worst part.. he made me schedule a follow up in a month. Yeah. I scheduled one all right. Let's just see if I make it in, shall we?
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