Judgemental Thoughts

You know, I wonder how many people actually visit this site on purpose? I see a few people stop by every now and then, but I do see some that are constantly returning from the same sites. Do these people actually come by to see what mad thoughts I have going on that day? This site is nothing more than some crazy thoughts placed online to vent frustrations or when I have some new found revelations. I know I am not that interesting, but I do wonder if its the whole big brotherish thing that causes people to check back into my site. These are very intimate thoughts placed out there for the world to see and I don't know who I am sharing these thoughts with (I know I shouldn't end with a preposition, but it's my site dammit). Does that make me some kind of cyber whore? Or does that make me just pathetic because I am willing to share these thoughts with anyone who will listen (or read in this case)? Oh well, I guess I'll never know.

On to another random thought...

From time to time I like to share secrets about myself. Why I do this, I'm not quite sure but it must have something to do with the whole cyber whore thing. Actually, I just like saying cyber whore so I get to use it three times in this posting so far...

Well, I realized today (actually a lie, I've known for some time now) that I judge people all the time in my mind. I would like to think that I am not the only one who does this but hope that everyone actually does the same thing and doesn't talk about it. I just rode up the elevator with some guy and judge him the whole way up (two floors worth of judging. Now let me explain why I take the elevator for only two floors. They lock our stairwell so we can not use the stairs to go up only down. So even though it is only two floors, I have to take the elevator. Ok, I feel better now that you don't think I'm some loser for not taking the stairs. I may be a loser, but it's not because I take the elevator) Where were we... Oh yeah, so all the way up I was looking at what this guy was wearing and how he was standing. I noticed he had a cane and wondered why he carried the cane but didn't use it. Then I started to think that if I carried a cane, I would want to use it instead of just carry it around. And then I started to think about his color coordination of his outfit. I know this is all absurd, but I do this all the time in my head. I can't stop myself. Anyway, it usually never gets any further than these initial thoughts and then I move on to judging someone else. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I do not use these judgments against these people or base my actions with these individuals from my judgments. They just pop into my head at times. And of course, it wouldn't be fair for me to judge these people without judging myself. I am my harshest critic for sure.

Anyway, here is another trait that I am revealing about myself to the world. I'm such a whore. Actually, I'm worse than a whore because I don't even charge for what I do.